Page 40

Nadia

“Wow,” I whisper, looking down at Cole. “That’s…crazy.”

In my mind, I turn over everything he just told me about the trip to the Children of Solace and his meeting with my dad. He conveniently leaves out the part about Rose being topless in his tent but…well. I forgive him for that because I’m pretty sure I caught everything.

I study Cole’s handsome face as I think it through. And, I mean, he’s ostensibly handsome – not just handsome to me . It’s just a fact of his being, like having dark hair and blue eyes.

“I know, it’s been a stressful night,” he murmurs, shaking his head softly, his perfect lips turning down in a frown.

And it’s not that I think they’re perfect – it’s just that in terms of symmetry and his features –

But I sigh and squish the thought, pressing my eyes shut and clenching my jaw, knowing that all my protests are useless.

Yes, he’s hot.

Yes, I think he’s hot.

And yes, I’m very well aware that there’s well over six feet of dreamy royal lycanthrope all stretched out by my side. But I sigh and force my attention back to our important conversation. Because that is what matters.

When I open my eyes, Cole’s are open too, studying me.

I scowl at him for good measure. Cole laughs but doesn’t push.

“So, do you really think someone saw you tonight? Saw us last time? And they might now know where we are?”

He hums and nods. “We know that they don’t have the technology to find this camp with drones.

But if they are monitoring the empty Children of Solace town with very secretive spies…

” he shrugs. “They could have found us. And this camp of mostly human civilians is a sitting duck if they’re bent on revenge.

I don’t think that revenge is the best use of their resources right now, but… ”

“But if Slaken’s a sociopath and a narcissist,” I whisper, finishing Cole’s thought for him. “Then his actions become unpredictable.”

He nods, confirming that this is what he thinks, too.

I look off into the corner of the tent, lost in my thoughts for a few moments. “Don’t send us away, Cole. We’re doing such good things here.”

He doesn’t respond, and I look back down at him, my fingers twining in the thick, dark strands of his hair –

I tense and snatch my hand back to my side – when the hell did I start doing that?

Cole works hard against a smile but doesn’t mention it. “I’m not promising you that, Nadia.”

I narrow my eyes at him.

“But I will promise to let you all keep working as long as it’s safe.”

“Okay, but not like…padded room, safe,” I say, nodding to him, accepting this, knowing that his wolf protective instinct nonsense isn’t going to let him give me more space than that. “Wartime safe. The ‘best we can do’ sort of safe.”

Cole narrows his eyes in turn and then nods, agreeing to it. “Dad is sending more military,” he murmurs. “So, it will be safer soon.”

“Shayne will be glad,” I murmur, shrugging. “More boys.”

He grins. “What about Grace?”

I take a deep breath. “Grace doesn’t really date.”

“Is it…not boys?”

I frown. “I don’t know what it is. She’s just never been interested in anyone, though she likes when Shay and I are – so it’s not her being anti-romance or anything. Just…not in her realm of interests. Sometimes I think she’s asexual, maybe.”

Cole hums, curious, frowning like he’s never considered that.

“None of your friends lean towards asexuality?” I ask, curious.

“No,” he says, holding my gaze with his pretty green eyes. “Everyone in my family is…very interested in romance.”

I grin. “I asked about your friends.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Don’t hold it against me, Nadia, but my family kind of are my friends.

Jude is my best friend, even though he’s horrible half the time.

Iris and I are super close. I have friends outside of them, of course, but when it comes to closeness and confidants… they’re my guys.”

“Ugh,” I say, turning away from him and rolling my eyes. “That’s…adorably wholesome.”

My eyes stray to his dark hair again and my forefinger finds its way to the end of one strand, just petting the edge. Nothing he could possibly feel.

Cole laughs and I sigh, turning my face back to him, nudging him with my knee. “Hey, you’re being cagey and avoidant, distracting me with all this adorable ‘my sister is my bestie’ chat.”

“Oh, whatever, Na-na,” Cole murmurs, shutting his eyes. I’m glad for that because I don’t want him to see my smile when he uses my silliest nickname. “You’re in my room, you just caught me in a very embarrassing moment –“

“Which I did not rub in as much as I could have!”

“Yes, you’re an angel of gracious restraint,” he murmurs, the words thick with sarcasm, making me laugh again.

Damn it, I hate that he’s…funny. Sometimes.

“What could I possibly be accused of holding back on here?” He holds his arms out wide. “My life is literally laid out before you.”

“Yes, just as your ex’s breasts were likewise laid out before me,” I snap, even as I laugh, pulling my fingers away from his hair.

His hand moves faster than I can see, snatching my wrist and halting its movement away. “Don’t stop doing that,” he growls. “It was nice. And Rose’s breasts hold absolutely no charms for me anymore.”

I scowl, hating that he could feel me playing with his hair and gave no indication. But I roll my eyes and obey my liege lord, the stupid future idiot King of our nation, and return my hand to his hair, twirling it around the ends of my fingers.

“Come on,” he murmurs, visibly relaxing as he moves his hand to his stomach, where it rises and falls along with his breath. “Ask me…anything you want, Nadi. I know you have questions.”

I sigh a little, my eyes going a bit vacant as I admit to myself that…yeah. I do.

He hums low in his throat, inviting.

“Cole,” I say quietly. “What’s it…like? Being a wolf?”

He hums again, thinking about it. “Guess it’s…hard to say,” Cole says quietly, breathing deeply, I think very much enjoying his scalp massage in a way that, for such a big powerful guy is…

Okay, fine, god damn it, it’s cute.

“What do you mean?” I whisper.

“I mean that I’ve always been a wolf,” he murmurs. “So, I don’t have much of an idea about how to explain what it’s like. It’d be like what it’s like to be a human –“

“Oh, I’d definitely have an answer for that,” I murmur, twisting my fingers just a tiny bit and thinking of all the ways I could describe to him what it’s like to be a human in a wolf world.

But he just laughs and lifts his hand to smack at my wrist a little, silently bidding me to play nice.

I comply. “Okay, well, what’s it like to be a wolf then?” I ask, turning my head to the side and watching his expression. “Like when you shift?”

He hums, nodding like that’s an easier question. “Well, it’s…it’s very cool.”

I laugh, thinking it’s probably an understatement, which just makes him break into his fairly gorgeous smile.

And that makes me smile, too. But…he can’t see that, with his eyes closed, which is all the better for me.

“When I’m my wolf,” Cole continues, voice going a bit soft and thoughtful.

“Things are a lot simpler. Like…you’re an animal.

Your needs and your instincts shift. And it’s not like I forget that I’m Cole, or my thoughts go away – I remember things.

They just seem to fall to the back of my mind, the basic necessities of life coming forward. ”

“Like what?”

“Like survival. Protection of my friends and family. Food for sure – you get really hungry, and everything smells amazing .”

My fingers still. “Do you like…eat rabbits?”

His eyes flash open, and he grins up at me. “Is that what you think we do when we run off into the woods in our wolf forms?”

I burst out laughing, my cheeks flushing, a little embarrassed. “I don’t know! Maybe! I haven’t thought about it a lot!”

He laughs too, looking up at me, and his face is just so…lit with happiness. I don’t know. My smile falls a bit with surprise and…

I just can’t stop looking at him.

“No, Nadi, I’ve never attacked and eaten a bunny. I’ve got plenty to eat in my human life – it’s not something I need. But if I were starving and in a survival situation, shifting into my wolf body would certainly make it easier to hunt and feed myself.”

I nod, understanding. “I guess that makes sense.”

He nods too.

I cock my head, remembering something from when we were children together. He used to shift – he and Jude both did, though Iris used to hold back so as not to make me feel jealous. “Can you do it like, from when you are born?”

“Shift?”

I nod.

He exhales slowly. “No. We can…well, everyone’s first shift hits differently. The three in my family were lucky enough to have it happen as kids, when our bodies were more flexible.”

“Why is that lucky?” I whisper.

“Because,” he replies, looking up at me and grimacing a little bit. “It’s…excruciating. And it gets worse, if it happens when you’re older.”

My eyes flare wide.

Wait, what?