Page 32 of Billion-Dollar Baby Shock

The next morning , early, Tara and Niko arrived at Dion’s plush city-centre hotel. Dion appeared in the lobby, freshly shaved and dressed, hair damp. Effortlessly suave in dark trousers and a shirt. He took Niko into his arms and the baby smiled at his father.

‘I was having breakfast. Have you eaten?’

‘No, but Niko has.’

Dion led the way to his room, at the top of the hotel with stunning views of the city. Tara barely noticed. Dion gave Niko back to her and rang for some fresh breakfast things and more coffee.

Tara settled Niko into a safe spot on the couch surrounded by cushions. He played happily with his stuffed toy, alternating between trying to pull it apart and eat it.

The room attendant arrived with a tray of food and fresh coffee. Dion thanked him and let him out.

Tara sat down but her appetite had fled. She poured some coffee and looked at Dion, who was staring broodingly at Niko. There was something different about him but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She felt unaccountably nervous. ‘Why do I feel like you’re going to tell me something?’

He surprised her by saying, ‘I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of using my connections to get your brother checked by another consultant, just to be sure he’s getting the best treatment. I’ve been assured he’ll be absolutely fine.’

Tara swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. ‘Thank you. You didn’t have to do that, but thank you.’

‘Your family mean everything to you, don’t they?’

She wasn’t sure where Dion was going with this but she said, ‘Yes, of course. I love them. But…we’re all moving on with our lives now.’

‘Yet you didn’t hesitate to run when they needed you.’

Tara’s hackles rose. She stood up. ‘Dion, if you’re going to use this as some sort of reason to not trust that I’ll—’

He cut her off. ‘I think you should have full custody of Niko.’

Tara realised belatedly that Dion looked pale. She must have misheard him. ‘Sorry, what did you just say?’

She glanced at Niko quickly to check him and saw that he was falling asleep. She went over and put him lying down, bolstered by the cushions to stop him rolling off. Dion handed her a throw and she put it over him. As she was doing this she was telling herself she must have—

‘I said,’ Dion said in a low voice from behind her, ‘that I think you should have full custody of Niko.’

Tara stood up and turned around. When she could get a word out, it made no sense. ‘But… I…you can’t… I can’t…’

Dion was shaking his head. ‘Do you know that I’ve never seen a family, at close hand like that?’

Tara’s insides sank. ‘I knew it—it was traumatic.’ Clearly, because he’d lost his mind.

But he shook his head. ‘No, it was amazing. The shorthand between you. The incredible bond. The love . The support.’

‘I…yes, I’m very lucky.’

Dion looked at her. ‘You lost your parents, you suffered a massive tragedy but you used it to forge something strong and durable and amazing. I know, even after only meeting your siblings for a brief time, that they would do anything for you. And for Niko.’

‘You’re included in that now. You’re family too, even if we’re not together…’ She trailed off ineffectually.

But Dion was shaking his head. ‘No, I’m not your family. I don’t have any family.’

Tara’s heart broke for Dion. ‘You have Niko. You have me.’

Dion turned away from her as if he couldn’t bear her to look at him.

He said, ‘What I did—having a child on my own—it was the most arrogant and selfish thing I’ve ever done.

I would have subjected Niko to a half-life with just me.

Seeing him with you and your family last night, how can I deny him a family who will adore him and care for him? ’

He turned to face her again. ‘How can I deny him a mother who is willing to move to another country and set up a life there in order to be with her son?’

‘How can you deny him his father?’

‘A selfish father. How could I offer Niko a family when I don’t even know what it is?’

‘It wasn’t selfish to want to create a life. People do it with a lot less consideration than you.’

He seemed determined not to hear her. ‘I’m no better than my mother. I’m worse.’

Tara gasped. ‘That is not true, for one second. You love Niko.’

His eyes blazed. ‘I would lay down my life for him but how do I know if that’s love? I’ve never felt it, how can I show it? You and your family have that… Niko deserves that. He should stay here with you.’

Tara shook her head. ‘My life is not here any more. It’s in Athens, with you and Niko.’

Dion said, ‘I’m going back to Athens today. You’re staying here with Niko.’

‘So, you’re repeating history after all?’

Dion frowned. ‘How?’

‘By abandoning your baby.’

He went pale. ‘I would never.’

‘That’s exactly what you’re doing, if you leave him behind.’

‘But he’ll be with you.’

‘He needs you .’

Dion started to pace back and forth. Tara glanced at Niko. He was still fast asleep. She looked back at Dion. He stopped pacing. ‘I’ll end up hurting him. He’ll resent me for not giving him a family.’

Tara couldn’t help saying, ‘So give him a family.’

‘Not this again, Tara.’

She tried not to be dissuaded. ‘We already have a son. We could have more children…maybe not right away…but in a few years…’

Dion was shaking his head. ‘But why would you…? You’re already sacrificing so much…’

‘It’s not a sacrifice when you love someone.’

Her words hung in the air for a long moment, Dion staring at her. Then he said, ‘You don’t love me. You can’t. It’s pity…or your overdeveloped sense of responsibility. You love Niko so much you’d sacrifice your ultimate freedom to give him what he needs.’

‘This isn’t about what he needs. Well, I mean, of course it is…but it’s my needs too. Selfishly, I need you. I love you, Dion, and I would like to create a life with you and Niko.’

* * *

What Tara was saying simply didn’t make sense. ‘But how can you? I’m not…lovable.’

Tara walked over to him and stood in front of him, looking up. Dion felt as if he were falling. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘you are. Eminently lovable. No matter what happened to you.’

All Dion felt, though, was shame. He turned away from Tara’s gaze. She was searing all the way through to where there was something so deeply bad inside him that it had caused his mother to abandon him and his father to reject him. It had made him acquire a child so that he might feel love.

She put a hand on his arm and turned him back to face her. He’d never felt so exposed. Vulnerable. Undone.

‘Maybe take it from me, then, because I was lucky enough to know what it felt like to be loved.’ She lifted a hand and touched his jaw.

‘And I can tell you that I do truly love you, Dionysios Dimitriou. Not just for your looks and amazing body and the way you make me feel…’ she blushed but went on ‘…but because you’ve got integrity and you’re kind and you went against everything you knew to create a family, even though you told yourself it was for more practical reasons.

You love your son. You did it because you were looking for love. ’

Tara’s words hit a chord inside him even though his first instinct was to deny it.

She’d said she was lonely in that apartment.

But he’d been lonely too. There was no real need for him to pass down his business—he didn’t even come from that kind of background.

And he knew he couldn’t care less if Niko wanted to inherit it.

He wanted his son to be happy. He wanted more for his son than he’d ever had. To be loved ?

What about you? prompted a little voice.

The thought of giving voice or a name to the swirling mass of tangled emotions inside him didn’t bear thinking about. That way lay annihilation.

He assured himself that she was wrong. He’d been Tara’s first lover. She thought she loved him. She was confusing lust with love. He was profoundly damaged. And yet he still wanted her. It beat through him now like a life force. Not fading. Getting stronger.

Maybe he could meet her halfway.

He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry. I can’t tell you what you want to hear… I think after some time has passed you’ll realise that what you’re feeling isn’t actually that deep…’

That blue-green gaze narrowed on him. Her hair was down. She was wearing a denim button-down dress. Bare legs. Sandals. And Dion ached from wanting her.

She folded her arms across her chest. ‘Do not patronise me, Dion. I know how I feel, and I want you, body, heart and soul. Nothing less.’

She was like a warrior. Dion had the strangest urge to go to his knees before her and beg for mercy. He had a sudden fear that he would drive her away and that sent a shard of ice into his gut. He felt panicky.

‘I can’t offer you that, but I could offer you a marriage… That way we’d be together and you’d have legal custody of Niko, for ever.’ And he could have her in his life and not think too much about how she made him feel. About her words.

Tara’s eyes widened. ‘You’d offer me marriage, like some sort of compensation for not being able to tell me you love me. We’d exist in a slightly less dysfunctional situation than we currently do.’

‘Tara… I wish I could give you more…but I just can’t…’

‘Can’t, or won’t?’

He couldn’t answer. It was as if a massive stone were lodged high in his chest. The past was all around him, whispering at him to protect himself at all costs.

Tara just said, ‘Right, I have to get something. Wait here, I’ll be back.’ And then as Dion watched, she picked up her bag and left the suite, the door closing behind her.

As if sensing his mother was gone, Niko woke with a little cry. Dion went over and picked him up, cradling him against his chest.