Page 19 of Biggest Player (Not Yours #2)

Dex

“What the hell did you just say?”

I hate kissing and telling, so the last thing I want to do is repeat myself. But this is Landon and he’s my BFF, and I need someone to talk to besides Trent, for real.

“You heard me.” I don’t have the guts to repeat myself, which is the reason I’m being deliberately coy.

“What I thought I heard you say was that you jerked your date off at the movies and now you’re going to date her?” Landon chuckles into the phone, multitasking in his kitchen. “But that can’t be right because this is the woman with the kid.”

“I said what I said.” The look on Landon’s face when I say those words makes me laugh.

It’s one kid, not seven. I can handle that.

“You said you didn’t want to date someone with kids.”

I know what I said! Everyone keeps reminding me! Do I have to get it stamped across my forehead, jeez!

“Am I not entitled to change my mind?” I grind out the words, agitated, not wanting to explain myself. Again. It was bad enough rambling on like a fucking idiot in the movie-theater parking lot. Never have I ever spewed such nonsense.

No, I said. It’s been on my mind a few times and today, well. Today, I just ... couldn’t ignore it anymore. I couldn’t keep pretending that what we have is casual when it’s anything but, and I honestly don’t want to be friends.

Jesus Christ.

I sounded like a moron and can’t believe she bought it.

Not that I don’t like Margot, but it goes against the boundaries I set for myself and told her on replay, and now I look fucking wishy-washy changing my mind.

Thanks to Trent.

In the camera’s view, I can see Landon hesitating and his dog, Kevin—a cowboy corgi—in the background, sniffing the floor beneath one of their pristine white cabinets, looking for crumbs.

Honestly, I’m a bit shocked by the fact that Landon hasn’t yet bought a bigger house since he signed to play for this new team, in a new city, but instead moved in with his girlfriend.

I guess time will tell.

Maybe bigger, better houses aren’t his thing.

My eyes go to the ceiling of my own kitchen, and I eyeball the shiny, glistening monster of a modern chandelier hanging above the round table.

“Are you entitled to change your mind? Of course you are.” He pauses. “But did you actually? You’re cool with kids, now?”

I mean . . .

“Eh.”

“Eh? What the hell does that mean?”

And here we are at a crossroads. I can either go left and tell him the truth, or I can go right—and lie.

It’s now or never.

“Dude. What I’m about to say you cannot repeat.”

The tone of my voice has Landon stopping what he’s doing to give me his full attention.

“Oh shit.” He’s staring at me now, a carrot in his hand. “What?”

Let’s see, how do I say this without sounding like a world-class asshole?

“It was an accident.”

Shoot. Not what I meant to say.

I try again as I watch Landon take a bite of carrot.

“What I meant was—my intention wasn’t to date her at all.

But then I was having a chat, and the subject came up about how dating a single mom might actually be good for my reputation?

Not that I’m a complete shithead, you know?

Just that teams like someone family friendly, and I date models. ”

My buddy stops chewing. “Dude, no.”

I nod. Yes.

“Dude, stop fucking around, this isn’t funny.”

“In my defense, I tried bringing it up to her first to see how she’d feel about it.”

He narrows his eyes. “Did you?”

Not really. I wanted to but didn’t have the balls.

There’s a long pause before Landon curses. “You really are a dumbass, do you know that? A real fucking dumbass.”

Like I need him reminding me?

“She knows we’re just friends,” I lie. “We’ve been hanging out anyway, which is basically like dating—why not let the public think it’s more than that?”

“Because. She has a kid, that’s why.”

“I know. But we don’t have to hang out with it.”

It.

I feel instant guilt in the pit of my stomach, speaking about Wyatt that way.

I sound like a fucking jerk.

“Are you listening to yourself?” Landon is shooting veritable daggers at me through the phone, and it’s a look he hasn’t given me before. “Whose dumb idea was this? It couldn’t have been yours—you’re not that coldhearted.”

“Was that a compliment?” ’Cause he’s not wrong about that; I’m not actually this cunning. “Trent may have mentioned fake dating her when we had our call last week.”

The words taste like chalk in my mouth, and my friend’s sigh is loud enough to hear all the way from here to Green Bay.

“Not to be rude, sometimes it’s not always in your best interest for you to take his advice. It’s just his opinion. Do you get what I’m saying?”

The whole situation is now completely fucked, and it’s my own damn fault.

Margot and I were having so much fucking fun, and I went and ruined it by asking her if she wanted to actually date me, even though I don’t actually want to date her.

But since meeting her, all the fun has been taken out of swiping on dating apps—this connection that we have may not be . .. sexual , but it feels ...

Stable.

Special.

Now there’s a word guys don’t think about when they’re imagining boning a chick.

Have I been imagining boning her?

Yes. Yes, I have. And the more I get to know her, the more attracted to her I become.

Shit, fuck, shit.

“What are your options?” Landon asks me. “How are we going to get you out of this mess? You can’t take the words back.”

We.

I love that he phrases it like that; I don’t feel so alone.

I pick at the homemade pasta Carrie left me, kind of wishing she were around—although she would go batshit on my ass if she knew about the shitstorm I created.

“Why are you saying it like that?” I furrow my brow. “When you started dating Harlow, you lied to her too. You didn’t tell her who you actually were. You let her think you were some dude who hung out with his parents on the weekends and was going through job interviews.”

“This isn’t about me—this is about you.” My best friend points at me through the small screen of his phone.

“Harlow will be the first person to tell you it freaked her out when she found out who I was.” I hear him open a door and close it.

“I don’t know, man. You may have fucked this up beyond repair. ”

“How?”

“’Cause. You either have to tell her what you just told me—about Trent telling you it would be good publicity to date her—or cut her off completely and never see her again.” He tosses a ball for the dog. “Those are your options.”

“I don’t like those options.”

He sighs. “Then you should have thought this through before letting your dick lead the way.”

“I didn’t let my dick lead the way. She hasn’t even seen my dick.”

Another sigh from Landon. “You know what I mean. You don’t blurt shit out to someone on a whim, not single moms. You don’t mess with them unless you mean it.”

“Funny, that’s what she said.”

Landon’s expression softens slightly, but his eyes remain stern. “It’s not funny, Dex. She’s not just some girl you walk away from. She has a kid. She has responsibilities. If you hurt her, you hurt her kid too.”

Damn. Since when is he the voice of reason?

Since you decided to tell him your problems, that’s when.

I glance down at the pasta. “I genuinely like her. And Wyatt—that’s her daughter’s name. She’s seriously something else.”

I didn’t expect to feel this way. Or this guilty.

“Feelings aren’t enough. You have to be honest with her. She deserves that.”

I run a hand through my hair, frustration bubbling up. “But if I tell her the truth, she might never forgive me. And if I cut her off, I’m just another guy who let her down.”

Landon nods, understanding the dilemma. “That’s the risk you take when you get involved with someone who has more to lose than you do. You need to decide if you’re willing to put in the effort to make it right.”

I think about the moments I’ve shared with Margot and Wyatt. The laughter, the late-night talks, the way Wyatt’s face lights up when I see her. I know I can’t just walk away.

“I want to make it right,” I say quietly. “But I don’t know how.”

“Start by telling her the truth. It’s going to hurt, but she deserves to know. Then, show her that you’re serious about being there for both of them. Actions speak louder than words.”

I nod, a sense of determination settling in my chest. “You’re right. I owe her the truth.”

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Not now, at least . . .

No fucking way am I ready to let her go.