Page 93 of Big Nick Energy

I hold my hand out and feel him search for it, holding it, rubbing his fingers along the outline of my engagement ring and then I feel him pull it up to his lips to kiss it. That tenderness he’s always shown me, that way he extracts the love from every touch is always soothing, it always feels like our own personal magic.

I take my hand back, feeling him still there. I always seem to sense him when he’s close. ‘I will give you the trees,’ he whispers through the door, laughing.

And I laugh back because that was a line from one of those love poems he read out to me. Of course you’d give me the trees, it’s technically your business.

‘And I will give you the journey,’ I say back.

‘Love you, Mrs Claus.’

‘Love you,’ I whisper, and hear his footsteps pad away from me. My heart feels full, ready, and I run a hand across the wood of the door. ‘I can’t wait to marry you.’

‘And there’s the whole world thinking that I’m the crazy one and you’re talking to a door,’ a voice sounds behind me. I turn to see Nana, a festive vision in bright red, a cross between a First Lady and someone who’s about to take a turn on the dancefloorin Blackpool. I love the extravagance, the joy in her wrinkled little face as she sees me in my wedding dress, a huge white taffeta creation that I love because it does allow me to wear thermal underwear underneath. She comes over and runs her fingers over the skirt then reaches up to put a hand to my face. I’ve never seen her beam like this before.

‘Katherine Redman, twenty-first of July,’ she says.

‘That’ll be me.’

‘It’d be weird if it wasn’t.’

‘That’s some meringue you’ve got on.’

I spin to let her see how much it billows out and she claps her hands, smiling.

‘I am possibly the happiest I’ve ever been, my dearest girl,’ she says, choking back the tears.

‘Well, it was on your bucket list. You wanted to see me married, eh?’

She takes pause to remember saying that, tears forming in her eyes as we let the emotion of the moment sit there between us. For as long as you’re around, I’ll try and remember everything on your behalf. ‘I hope you’re not going to tell me this is my Christmas gift though – I’ll still need a proper present, something I can unwrap, nothing in an envelope.’ I cackle and take her hands in mine. ‘It’s quite a thing out there you know? Christmas trees lined up for days, it’s very magical. I think I saw doves.’

‘It felt like the right place to get married.’

‘Surrounded by your fella’s good wood?’

I shake my head, grinning at her. ‘The fella has a name, you know.’

‘Nicholas North, sixteenth of March.’ She taps her head. ‘I’ve got it locked in. Got to remember the name of the boy who’s looking after my granddaughter. And he better. Or I’ll be having words.’ I tilt my head to the side to know his name is in her hearttoo. She weaves an arm through mine. ‘Right, let’s get you out there and give you away. What do you say?’

‘I do.’

‘Yeah, you say that to him, not me.’

And I laugh, picking up the skirts of my dress and opening the door, stepping out into the glow of fairy lights and the hum of Christmas music in the air, a perfect winter’s sky shining blue beyond all those perfect trees.

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