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A nd just like that, I knew I was lost. There was no burying this, no pretending it hadn’t happened. Elara had worked her way into me, into every thought, every instinct, every guarded corner of my heart.

I knew the world wouldn’t allow us to hold onto this moment. I understood we would have to confront everything that awaited us on the other side of dawn. But for now, for this fleeting, stolen sliver of time, she was in my arms, and I wouldn’t let go.

For a long moment, neither of us moved. The only sound in the room was our breathing, hers shallow and uncertain, mine heavy and ragged as I tried to gather the little sense I had left.

But my hands stayed where they were, one cradling the curve of her jaw, the other at her back, holding her against me as if she might slip away if I let go.

I couldn’t bring myself to release her. Not yet.

Elara’s gaze searched mine, and her expression softened in a way I had never seen before.

Vulnerable, questioning, yet still carrying that sharp edge of fire.

That was what undone me most of all, that she could look at me with such softness and still be unrelenting, still so much stronger than she even realised.

“What happens now?” she murmured, her voice nearly silent.

Her words struck me like a blade to the chest, leaving me without an answer.

What happens now? I wanted to tell her this wouldn’t change anything, it wouldn’t cloud my focus or weaken my resolve.

I tried to tell her I could still protect her, still lead her through this war without letting this.

.. us... become a distraction. But those were just lies I’d once been good at telling myself.

This altered everything .

“I don’t know,” I admitted quietly, my thumb brushing against her cheekbone. The softness of her skin against my rough hand grounded me, tethering me to the moment I didn’t want to let go of. “But I’m not sorry.”

Her lips parted at my words, her breath catching in her throat. She didn’t pull away, didn’t shove me back or demand answers I couldn’t provide. She stared at me as if I were something she couldn’t decide whether to trust or to fear.

“Elara,” I said softly, her name holding more weight than I intended. “I swore I would protect you, no matter the cost. That hasn’t changed. But...”

But what? That I wanted to be more than her protector? Every time I looked at her, the walls I had built around myself splintered just a little more. That she had awakened something in me, something I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in years, something dangerous and uncontainable?

I can’t say it. Not yet.

She tilted her head slightly, her hands still resting against my chest, where she could surely feel the pounding of my heart.

“But?” she pressed gently.

I closed my eyes briefly, gathering myself before speaking

again. “But I won’t let this war take you. Not the Council, not the bond, not anything.” I opened my eyes, meeting hers with every ounce of conviction I had. “I promise you, Elara.”

Her brow furrowed, the weight of my words settling over her like a shroud. I could see the conflict within her, the same war I felt raging in my own chest. This was dangerous. What had just happened between us was a risk neither of us could afford.

And yet, she didn’t release her grasp.

Her fingers curled slightly against the fabric of my shirt, anchoring her to me. “You can’t promise that,” she said quietly, though her voice trembled enough to reveal her doubt. “Not in a war like this.”

I leaned closer, my forehead touching hers, my voice soft and steady. “Watch me.”

She shivered slightly at that; however, whether it was from the promise in my voice or something else, I couldn’t say. Her eyes searched mine, lingering as if trying to grasp something even I couldn’t articulate.

I wanted to kiss her again, God’s help me; I longed to pull her back into that fire and lose myself in her, if only for one more moment. But I couldn’t. Not now. The lines I’d crossed tonight were dangerous enough.

With great effort, I forced myself to loosen my grip on her, my fingers brushing against her jaw one last time before falling away. She didn’t move, yet the distance I placed between us felt colder than it ought to have.

“You should get some rest,” I said softly, my voice rougher than I had intended. “We have a long fight ahead of us.”

She stared at me for a moment longer, as if deciding whether to argue, before nodding slowly. “You should, too.”

I nearly laughed at that. Sleep was the last thing I could find tonight, not with the memory of her kiss still burning through me like wildfire. Not realising just how far I had already fallen for her.

“I’ll try,” I said, returning to the door.

Her eyes followed me, lingering even as I turned away and reached for the handle. I paused there, my back to her, clenching my jaw against the pull that wanted me to turn back around. To stay .

“Goodnight, Elara,” I said softly, my hand tightening around the handle.

“Goodnight, Azrael,” she whispered, her voice softer this time, like a secret confession.

I compelled myself to leave the room, closing the door softly behind me. The chilly stone hallway was a sharp contrast to the warmth I had just departed from, and for a moment, I remained there, staring into space, attempting to calm the pounding in my chest.

What have I done?

I pressed my palm against the door, allowing my forehead to rest against the wood for just a moment before pulling back and straightening my shoulders.

It didn’t matter what lines I had crossed tonight. I couldn’t let this distract me, I wouldn’t. The war was still coming, and Elara needed me to be strong and lead.

But as I walked back down the hall, her kiss lingered on my lips, and I realised the truth I didn’t want to admit.

I had already surrendered. There was no turning back.

I barely made it back to the main room before the weight of everything caught up to me.

The dying fire provided little warmth now, its embers smouldering like the ache still burning in my chest. I sank onto the edge of the worn armchair, my elbows braced on my knees, and dropped my face into my hands.

What have I done?

The question echoed in my mind, relentless and unanswer- able.

I had broken every rule I had set for myself.

I had allowed the fire she carried to pull me into its heart, and gods, I hadn’t even tried to stop it.

For all the discipline and control I had honed over years of war and loss, tonight I unravelled with a single kiss.

And now that fire had taken hold of me, sinking deep into the hollow spaces I had kept hidden even from myself.

I thought of Elara’s face, her wide, searching eyes when I touched her, the softness in her voice when she uttered my name.

The way her hands lingered on me, small and delicate, yet grounding.

That image struck something deep within me, something I didn’t want to name, for naming it would mean confronting it.

I couldn’t permit that. I couldn’t permit this.

Because what I felt for her, the pull, the longing, it was more perilous than any Council member, any magic, or any prophecy. It could tear me apart, shatter me from within, and worse still, it could ruin her.

Elara didn’t need my selfish desires complicating her path. She didn’t need my weaknesses holding her back. She needed my strength. My focus. She needed me to protect her, not to succumb to these dangerous urges that had already weakened me far more than I cared to admit.

But it’s too late, a voice in my head whispered. The kiss was evidence of that.

I pushed myself up from the chair, pacing the room like a caged animal.

My movements were jerky and restless, as if I could burn the thoughts out of my mind by sheer force of will.

I knew what I had to do. I needed to pull back and rebuild the distance I’d allowed to crumble.

It was the only way to protect her, to keep her safe from both the war and the chaos brewing within me.

However, I also realised I could no longer deceive myself.

The part of me that desired her, the part that had long been buried beneath layers of grief, rage, and guilt, was unearthed tonight. It wouldn’t be buried again. Not easily.

I could still feel her presence: the warmth of her lips and the way her breath hitched when I leaned in closer. I could still hear her voice and see the stubborn fire in her gaze, which made me want to protect her from the world and set it ablaze alongside her.

“ She’s going to destroy you, ” the voice hissed once more. “ And you’ll allow her to . ”

I ceased pacing, fixing my gaze on the shadowy wall across the room.

I clenched my fists at my sides, the sharp bite of my nails digging into my palms anchoring me.

If that were true, if this war ended with me ruined by her fire, my control stripped away piece by piece, then so be it. I would accept it.

But only after I knew she was safe.

Only after I had torn the Council apart, uprooted every trace of their treachery from this world, and ensured that Elara could live without their shadow darkening her future.

Only then could I allow myself to fall.

Until that day, she couldn’t know the full truth of what I felt, of how far I’d already fallen.

I’d keep it buried just deep enough to perform my duty.

At least, I hoped I could. The creak of the Keep’s stone walls pulled me from my thoughts, and I stilled, listening for anything out of place.

There was no threat, no movement other than the steady sigh of the wind through the cracks.

Yet, instinct had my eyes drifting back toward the hall.

Toward the door behind which Elara slept, or possibly didn’t sleep, knowing her.

I turned away swiftly, suppressing the tug in my chest that urged me to go to her again. To open that door, bridge the gap between us, and allow myself to be vulnerable just one more time. No.

I returned to the dying fire, adding another log to the embers and watching as the flames reluctantly flickered back to life. I sank into the chair, compelling my gaze to remain on the fire and forcing my body to stay still. I wouldn’t go to her again tonight. I wouldn’t lose this fight, not now.

But as the fire crackled softly, its warmth creeping back toward me, I recognised the truth.

This war was no longer just against the Council. I was battling against myself. And I was losing.