Page 38

38

I should be on top of the world right now. Days away from my championship match, days away from the biggest event of the year. The city is buzzing - I should be buzzing. My face is plastered all over billboards, posters line the streets, and the whole town is gearing up for the big show. There are meet-and-greets set up with the fans, interviews, promo appearances—everything’s being done to hype up the event.

But as I step into the office to meet with Brian Mitchell, the owner of UXW, and Casey Ward, the General Manager, I can feel this heaviness clinging to me like a second skin. My mind is far from the ring. All the excitement around me just makes the chaos in my head louder.

"Ryan," Brian begins as I take a seat across from him and Casey. "How’re you holding up? That chair shot last night looked brutal. Doctor said you needed a few stitches? No concussion though?"

"Yeah," I say, leaning back in the chair. I fold my arms over my chest, trying to appear relaxed, but the tension in my body tells a different story. "It wasn’t that bad. Took it in stride."

Brian’s brow furrows, his gaze intense. He’s not buying my act. "We just want to make sure you're okay. That chair shot could’ve done some real damage. We need you sharp for this match."

"I'm fine," I say again, more insistent this time, but inside, I’m lying to myself. The truth is, I feel like I’ve been gutted. Not just from the shot to the head—no. It’s everything that’s come with it. All the thoughts I can’t seem to shut off. The distractions. The constant noise. The battle inside me that won't seem to settle down.

Casey shifts in his chair, leaning forward with a more business-like tone. "We’re just a few days away from Fallout . This is the biggest match of your career, Ryan. We need you at 100%. No distractions, no slip-ups. I need you focused out there, Pierce.

There it is again. Distractions. They don’t know how close to the truth they’re getting. I nod like I understand, like I’m in control, but I’m spiraling. "I’ll be ready. You don’t have to worry about me."

"Good," Brian says, but I can tell by the way his eyes linger on me that he doesn’t believe it. "You’re a key player in this. We need you to keep your head in the game."

My jaw tightens. I’ve heard this speech a thousand times from them, from myself, from everyone. But this time, it feels different. Because this time, I know I’m not fully there. I’m trying to be. I’m trying to shut it all out. But Natalie’s face keeps flashing through my mind, her voice in my head, the last texts she sent me sitting unread on my phone. I can’t bring myself to look at them, because I know if I do, I won’t be able to not respond.

Brian and Casey finish up, going over the schedule for the next few days, the media appearances, and the final promotional pushes. I nod at the right times, answer when I need to, but the whole time, my thoughts are drifting. Natalie’s waiting for me at the arena. I haven’t answered her texts, and I know she’s going to want an explanation. She deserves one. But I’m not ready. Seeing her is going to break me, and I don’t know if I can handle it right now.

"Alright, Ryan," Casey says, standing and extending his hand. "Just make sure you’re checked out by the doc each day. We’ll see you at the big show."

I stand, shaking both their hands, plastering on a fake smile. "I’ll be there."

As soon as I leave the room, the weight crashes down on me again. I pull out my phone, half expecting another text from Natalie, but there’s nothing new. Just the ones from last night, sitting there unanswered. I exhale, a mix of relief and guilt.

I walk toward my car, dragging out the time, knowing what’s waiting for me back at the arena. I need to get my head straight, to get back to being me. But everything’s tangled up now. My career, my feelings for Natalie... it’s all mixed together in a way that’s fucking with my head. I need space, but all I can think about is how much I want her. How much I miss her. How bad I need to fucking touch her.

When I finally pull into the parking lot at the arena, my stomach tightens. I take my time getting out of the car, mentally preparing for the inevitable confrontation. Natalie’s here, and she’s going to want answers I’m not sure I can give. Not yet.

The moment I step inside, I run straight into Travis. He’s leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone, but as soon as he sees me, he straightens up.

"Yo, man. Natalie’s been looking for you," he says, eyeing me like he knows something’s off.

"Yeah, I know," I mutter, brushing past him. But Travis isn’t the type to let shit go easily. He steps in front of me, blocking my path.

"What's up with you? You're acting like you're running from something."

I glare at him, annoyed but knowing he’s right. "I’m just distracted. Got a lot on my mind."

"Is this about Natalie?" Travis crosses his arms, his expression softening. "Man, don’t tell me you’re freaking out over her. You’ve been in a good place with her. Hell, you’ve been the happiest I’ve seen you in a while."

I let out a frustrated grunt. "Happiest? I’m distracted, man. I let myself get distracted by all of this. And now, right before the biggest moment of my career, I’m losing focus."

"Distracted?" Travis raises an eyebrow. "Dude, you’ve been killing it in the ring, hitting the gym harder than ever. You’re a fucking machine. Who’s getting in your head?"

I hesitate, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. "I let things get too serious. With Natalie. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but... it did. And now I feel like I’m losing sight of what I’ve been working for. My entire career—everything I’ve done—it’s all been leading up to this, and I can’t afford to lose it because of... because of—"

"Because of a woman?" Travis cuts me off, disbelief clear in his voice. "Dude, Natalie isn’t just any woman. You’re not losing focus because of her. You’re losing focus because you’re letting people get in your head. Lester played dirty last night, and you’re letting that shit mess with your mind. You would’ve had him if it weren’t for that damn chair shot. Come on man, you know I’m right."

I grit my teeth, knowing there’s some truth in what he’s saying. But it’s not just the loss that’s messing with me. It’s everything else. It’s Natalie. The way she’s wrapped herself around me, gotten under my skin in a way I didn’t expect.

Travis watches me for a second, his face softening with concern. "Look, man. Don’t let them ruin this for you. Don’t let them ruin what you’ve got with her, either. You deserve to be happy, Ryan. Don’t sabotage it because you’re scared. You can have both you know, a career and a relationship. It doesn’t have to be one or the other."

I can’t respond. I don’t know how to. Everything’s too tangled up inside me—my career, my feelings, my fears. So, instead, I just storm past him, needing to be alone. I isolate myself in one of the locker rooms, sitting on the cold bench, my hands running through my hair. I need to get my head right before practice. I should be excited. I should be amped for this week, but instead, all I feel is this crushing anxiety.

I stare down at my hands, clenching them into fists. I should be on top of the world right now, but I’m drowning in doubts. What the hell am I doing? Am I pushing Natalie away to focus on my career, or am I running from something I’m too scared to face? Something that feels too real, too fast.

I don’t know the answers, but I know one thing: this week is going to test me in more ways than one. And I don’t know if I’m ready for it.