Page 24 of Better When Shared (Kristin Lance Anthologies #2)

Caleb

The wheels of my rental car crunched over the gravel driveway as I pulled up to the sprawling beachfront home Nisha’s friends had rented for us.

Salt-tinged air filled my lungs when I stepped out, the Oregon coast stretching endlessly before me in shades of gray and blue. Work had pulled me back to London, and my last few trips to visit them had fallen through. It had been three months since I'd touched them, held them, tasted them. Three months of falling asleep to their voices through a screen, of waking hard and aching only to find me.

My body hummed with anticipation as I spotted Julian's car parked near the entrance, sleek and familiar as the man himself. I resisted the urge to run to the door like some lovesick teenager, forcing myself to move with measured steps while my heart thundered against my ribs.

The front door swung open before I reached it. Nisha stood there, backlit by warm light, her hair loose around her shoulders in the way that made my fingers itch to tangle in it. Her smile hit me like a physical force.

"You made it,"

she breathed, launching herself into my arms.

“Oh fuck, I was so worried something would happen again and keep you away.”

I caught her, burying my face in her neck, inhaling the scent of sandalwood and citrus that clung to her skin. My hands found her waist, familiar curves beneath unfamiliar fabric—a loose sweater that slipped off one shoulder, revealing skin I wanted to taste.

"Of course I made it,"

I murmured against her hair.

"Wild horses couldn't have kept me away."

Over her shoulder, I saw Julian approaching, his movements stiffer than usual, none of the easy grace I'd grown accustomed to. Something flickered in his eyes—relief, perhaps, but overshadowed by something I couldn't quite name. Tension radiated from him in waves as he stepped onto the porch.

"Caleb,"

he said, voice controlled in a way that made my stomach tighten.

"Good flight?"

No embrace. No kiss. Just that careful distance that reminded me of our early college days, before we knew how to navigate our complicated attraction. I set Nisha gently on her feet, searching Julian's face for clues.

"Uneventful,"

I replied, matching his tone while my mind raced. Had something changed.

"The view here is stunning."

Julian nodded, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

"Nick found it. Come in, meet everyone."

The knot in my chest tightened as I followed them inside, wheeling my suitcase behind me. The house opened up into a grand living area with vaulted ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows that framed the turbulent ocean. Three unfamiliar faces turned toward me—a striking couple curled together on a sectional sofa, and a lean Asian man arranging logs in a massive stone fireplace.

"Everyone, this is Caleb,"

Nisha announced, her hand finding the small of my back in a touch that seemed almost apologetic.

"Caleb, meet Nick, Connor, and Lila."

Nick straightened from the fireplace, offering a hand and an easy smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"The famous Caleb. Julian's college roommate, right?"

The phrasing wasn't lost on me. Julian's roommate. Not lover. Not partner. Just roommate.

"That's me,"

I confirmed, shaking his hand .

"Though I like to think we've evolved a bit since our ramen-eating days."

Connor rose from the sofa, tall and confidently casual in a way that spoke of privilege without arrogance.

"You’re from the UK? I’ve always wanted to go there, but I’ve never been."

Beside him, Lila laughed.

"Connor, let the man breathe before you start the interrogation."

I found myself smiling despite the tension still radiating from Julian.

"Nice to meet you all."

"We've got you in the blue room upstairs,"

Nick said, gesturing toward a curved staircase.

"I'll show you up."

The blue room. Separate from Julian and Nisha. My heart sinking even as I maintained my polite smile, following Nick up the stairs, aware of Julian's gaze burning into my back. The room was beautiful, with a king-sized bed facing windows that opened to a private balcony overlooking the beach. It was a guest room, not the primary suite I'd glimpsed at the end of the hall when we passed it.

“The bathroom’s through there,"

Nick said, pointing to a door on the left.

"We're grilling tonight, but we stopped for groceries, so there are some stacks downstairs."

"Thanks,"

I replied, setting my suitcase on the luggage rack.

"It's a gorgeous place."

Nick hesitated in the doorway, studying me with unexpected intensity, but he said nothing, just nodded and backed out.

The moment the door closed behind him, I sank onto the edge of the bed, running a hand through my hair as I tried to make sense of Julian's cold reception.

I didn't bother unpacking, too restless to focus on mundane tasks. Instead, I washed my face, changed into a fresh sweater, and headed back downstairs, drawn by the sound of Nisha's laughter floating up from below. I followed it to a spacious kitchen where she and Julian were unpacking grocery bags, her hip bumping his as she reached across him for a cabinet.

They looked so fucking perfect together, moving in the synchronized dance of a couple who anticipated each other's needs without words. A matched set. Complete without me. The thought lodged like a fishhook in my chest, pulling painfully as I watched them from the doorway.

Julian spotted me first, his hands stilling on a bunch of kale he'd been about to rinse. Something complicated passed across his face—longing, quickly masked by that same strange guardedness.

"Hey,"

I said, leaning against the doorframe, struggling to keep my tone light.

"Anything I can help with?"

Nisha turned, her smile warming as she beckoned me closer.

"Come taste this wine Connor brought. It's divine."

I crossed to her, accepting the glass she offered. Our fingers brushed, sparking that familiar electricity that never seemed to diminish no matter how many times we touched.

Julian watched us, his shoulders rigid beneath his henley.

"Let's go for a walk,"

he said abruptly.

"On the beach."

Not a suggestion. Almost a command. Nisha shot him a look I couldn't interpret, something passing between them in that silent language of long-term couples.

"Perfect,"

she agreed, setting down her wine glass.

"I could use some fresh air."

I drained my glass, setting it on the counter with a soft clink.

"Lead the way."

Julian nodded once, jaw tight, and headed toward the back door. As Nisha passed me, she squeezed my hand, her eyes offering reassurance I desperately needed. Whatever was happening, at least she still welcomed my touch. I followed them both, my heart hammering.

The glass door slid open with a soft hiss, revealing the sprawling deck where steam rose from a large hot tub nestled against the railing. I stopped short at the sight before me—Connor, Lila, and Nick submerged to their shoulders, empty champagne flutes perched on the wooden surround. Water sloshed as if they’d just been moving around. Lila sunk low, so the water tickled at her chin.

"Sorry,"

Julian mumbled, his voice strained.

"Just heading to the beach."

Lila's face flushed crimson, but her smile remained unrepentant.

"No problem. We're just... relaxing."

The subtle shift of water betrayed movement as the men moved their arms, and Lila let out a soft whimper. Connor cleared his throat.

“The beach is beautiful this time of day,"

he offered, voice slightly rougher than it had been during our introduction.

“The path down the cliff is just past the fire pit."

Nisha nodded, her cheeks pink as she tugged at both Julian and me.

"We'll let you get back to... relaxing."

As we descended the wooden stairs to the sloping lawn, I caught a burst of smothered laughter behind us, followed by Nick's hushed voice saying something that made the others dissolve into fresh hysterics. Julian's shoulders remained rigid as he led the way across the grass toward a winding path that disappeared over the edge of the cliff.

"So,"

I said, unable to bear the silence any longer.

"They seem friendly."

Julian's laugh was short, almost bitter.

"You could say that."

We reached the path, a sturdy wooden staircase that zigzagged down the face of the cliff. Julian took the steps with determined purpose, leaving Nisha and me to follow. The wind grew stronger as we descended, carrying the scent of salt and seaweed. Gulls wheeled overhead, their cries punctuating the steady rhythm of waves crashing against the shore below.

By the time we reached the beach, my nerves were wound tight as piano wire. Julian strode several paces ahead, hands jammed in his pockets, shoulders hunched against the wind. Nisha walked beside me, her smaller hand finding mine, squeezing in silent reassurance.

The beach stretched before us, empty despite the beautiful weather, but maybe that was how the beach was here. Julian stopped at a large driftwood log, weathered silver by salt and sun, and turned to face us. His expression was unreadable, making my heart clench with uncertainty.

Nisha, however, had apparently reached her limit.

"This is ridiculous,"

she announced, planting herself between us, cheeks flushed with more than just the wind.

"Do you know what we just saw up there?"

Julian's jaw tightened.

"Nish, don't—"

"A throuple,"

she continued, ignoring him.

"A functional, happy, completely unashamed throuple who aren't hiding what they feel for each other. Who aren't pretending it's just some casual thing. They're in love—all three of them—and they own it."

My breath caught in my throat as her words hung in the salty air between us. Julian's eyes found mine before darting away, something vulnerable flashing across his face.

"And here we are,"

Nisha said, gesturing between us.

"three people who clearly love each other, pretending this is just some fun thing on the side. Some torrid affair with occasional visits and video calls that we have to hide from my friends."

Her voice softened, eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Why are we still playing this game? Why hide it from the one group of people who would understand?"

Julian looked stricken.

"Nisha, we talked about this—"

"No, you talked about this,"

she cut in, turning to him.

"You decided that Caleb might disappear again if we pushed too hard. You decided we should keep things casual because you're terrified of losing him. But have you ever asked him what he wants?"

My heart stopped, then slammed against my ribs.

"Is that true?"

I asked Julian.

"You think I'll disappear again?"

The pain in his eyes when he finally met my gaze made my chest ache.

"You did before. For seven years."

The weight of that admission, of the hurt I'd caused him, almost brought me to my knees. I stepped forward, closing the distance between us, taking his face between my hands before he could retreat.

"Julian,"

I whispered, my voice breaking on his name.

"I didn't leave because I didn't care enough. I left because I cared too much."

Confusion clouded his features.

"What are you saying?"

"I was in love with you,"

I confessed, the words I'd held back for nearly a decade spilling out.

“I am in love with you. Since sophomore year, at least. Everything we did—the threesomes, the shared conquests—it was all just excuses to be close to you without admitting how I felt. And when graduation came, I knew I couldn't keep living that half-life. Pretending to just be your friend while dying inside every time you looked at someone else."

Julian's eyes widened, hands coming up to grip my wrists.

"You never said anything."

"How could I? You were straight, talking about finding a woman to settle down with."

I laughed, the sound ragged with emotion.

“And Tristan wanted me back in the UK, working for the family business. It was all too—”

“Impossible,”

Julian whispered.

"Yes. And then Nisha found me in that yoga class, and suddenly there you were, looking at me the way I'd always wanted. Touching me like you'd been wanting it too. It was like stepping into an alternate universe where my deepest wish had somehow come true."

Nisha moved closer, her arms circling both our waists.

"And now?"

she asked.

"What do you want now, Caleb? Is it still impossible?"

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to be brave, to lay my heart bare before the two people who held it in their hands.

"I want you. Both of you. Not just for weekends or holidays or whenever I can fly in from London. I want to wake up with you, argue about whose turn it is to do the dishes, fall asleep watching bad movies on the couch. I want—I want everything."

My voice cracked on the last word, and suddenly Julian's mouth was on mine, hungry and desperate. His hands fisted in my sweater, pulling me closer as if afraid I might vanish if he loosened his grip. When we broke apart, both breathing hard, his eyes were wet.

"I love you,"

he said fiercely.

"I've loved you for so fucking long, you idiot. And Nish loves you too."

Nisha was crying openly now, tears tracking down her cheeks even as she smiled.

"We both love you. So much it hurts sometimes."

I gathered them both against me, one arm around each, holding the entire world in my embrace.

"I love you too. Both of you. More than I know how to say."

Julian pulled back just enough to meet my eyes.

"Promise me you won't disappear again. Even when it gets hard, even when we fight or I'm an ass or—"

"I promise,"

I cut him off, sealing the vow with another kiss.

"Never again."

Nisha wiped at her tears, practical even in this emotional moment.

"But how do we make this work? Your life is in London, ours is here."

I'd thought about this more than I cared to admit, lying awake in my London flat, staring at their faces on my phone screen, calculating time differences and flight costs and visa requirements.

"We move in together,"

I said simply.

"Even if it means trading off weeks between Portland and London, working remotely, or quitting my job. We make it work."

"You'd do that?"

Julian asked, wonder coloring his voice.

"Upend your whole life?"

I laughed, the sound lighter now, freed from the weight of secrets too long kept.

"My life is with you two. I wouldn’t be upending it, I’d be setting it right."

Nisha rose on tiptoes to kiss me, then Julian, her smile brighter than the sun glinting off the waves.

"Can we really? The three of us?"

"The three of us,"

Julian confirmed, his arm tightening around my waist.

"Fuck what anyone else thinks."

I looked out at the endless expanse of ocean, then back at these two beautiful people who, against all odds, had chosen to love me as I loved them. For the first time in years, perhaps ever, I felt completely, utterly at home.

"Well,"

I said, unable to suppress my grin.

"I suppose we should go back and tell our hosts they're not the only throuple on this beach trip so I can move out of that damn guest room.."

Julian laughed, the tension finally melting from his shoulders as he took my hand in his left, Nisha's in his right.

"Let's give them a few more minutes in that hot tub first. I think we interrupted their fun."

I looked around the beach, my heart a million pounds lighter, then pulled both of them into a tight hug.

“No one is around, maybe we can have some fun of our own.”