Page 21 of Best Kept Vows (Savannah’s Best #6)

Ophelia

“ Y ou’re going to have lunch with Dad today?” Sebastian asked as he poured me a cup of coffee.

“Yes.”

I felt nervous and foolish. Was I making a mistake by asking for a separation?

I was so confused, but the idea of having space felt good.

Having time to myself so I could better understand me felt like the right thing to do.

But when I looked at Sebastian’s ashen face and knew he was crumbling, I wanted to do nothing more than to hold on to him.

“Sebastian?” I cleared my throat.

“Yeah, baby.”

I took a deep breath. “How…how do you feel about couples’ counseling?”

I waited for him to lose his shit, but he surprised me by smiling. “I was thinking exactly the same thing.”

“You were?” He was ?

“Yeah.” He sat on the stool next to me at the kitchen island. “I…have things I need to deal with. I know that. But I also think we need to talk through… stuff . Like you said, you’re carrying a lot of resentment. I need to hear about that.”

“You do?” I couldn’t believe it. Sebastian wanted to go to therapy with me. This was an alternate universe, for sure.

He gave me a sad smile. “I love you. I want to get us back to a better place…not where we were, because that’s not possible—we have both grown and changed—but to find a new balance for us.”

“Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?” I blurted out.

“I am a man who’s learning to be a better husband and father,” he said softly, a wealth of regret in his eyes.

My lungs forgot how to work for a moment. Sebastian wasn’t exactly arrogant, but he wasn’t big on apologies. He was also a little antiquated in his view of men and women and their roles in society.

“And…how did this…whatever this is, come about?”

He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. It was an intimate and affectionate gesture, and once again, I wondered if I was doing the right thing by moving out. I could lose the marriage and him.

Well, if you lose him because you left for a bit, then he’s not worth keeping.

“I realized that I’d been putting peace with my mother above your happiness.”

Well, knock me down with a feather .

“And then I found out how you’ve been taking care of my father. It made me realize that I had lost touch with you and my father. I’d…lost touch with myself.”

Sebastian was a good man. He was an intelligent man. What he wasn’t was self-exploratory. He believed he knew the difference between right and wrong, and no one could tell him otherwise.

I slumped in my chair. “Sebastian, I don’t know what the right thing is anymore.”

“I got news for you, baby, neither do I.”

“That doesn’t sound promising,” I said, chagrined.

Sebastian chuckled softly. “I don’t know about that, baby. Maybe I’m finally getting my shit together.”

I stared at him, searching his face, checking for cracks, looking for hesitation. There was none. Only the same exhaustion I felt, the weight of everything we had been through, but beneath that, there was also resolve. We were going to make this work…somehow.

I let out a shaky breath. “Ah…Luna recommended a therapist. Aurora speaks well of her also.”

“Do you want me to make the appointment?”

The weight pressing inside of me didn’t disappear completely, but it shifted and lightened just enough for me to breathe.

“Yes, please.” I immediately forwarded Dr. Monica Ryan’s contact information to him. “Ah…do you think we need individual therapy as well?”

Why the hell was I asking him? How would he know? Neither of us had ever done this kind of thing before .

“Why don’t we see this Dr. Ryan, and let her advise us?” he suggested.

“Good idea.”

I finished my coffee, and then, knowing I couldn’t delay it any longer, I stood and walked to the bedroom to pack.

Sebastian followed, leaning against the doorframe as I pulled out a small suitcase. I heard him exhale raggedly like he was physically forcing himself to stay calm.

“I know this is hard for you.” I unzipped the suitcase and laid it on the bed.

“Yeah,” he admitted, his voice rough. “It’s killing me.”

My hands stilled for a moment before I forced myself to keep moving. I wasn’t leaving for good. I wasn’t giving up on us. But even knowing that, my stomach twisted painfully as I folded some clothes and placed them in the suitcase.

Sebastian stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, watching me. “I want to tell you not to go,” he admitted. “I want to beg you to stay.”

I swallowed hard, my throat tight. “Sebastian, honey?—”

“I won’t do it.” He ran a hand over his face, his shoulders tense. “I understand why you need this.”

He did? How could he when I wasn’t sure why I needed this?

I kept my focus on the task at hand before I caved in and rushed into his arms again, but that wouldn’t solve what was broken between us.

“I don’t want this to hurt you.” I knew they were mere words that couldn’t soothe the pain I saw etched on his face.

He gave a short, humorless laugh. “Too late for that. ”

I closed my eyes briefly before reaching for another shirt to fold. “I’m hurting, too. You know that, don’t you?”

“I know.” He drew in an unsteady breath. “I hate that the most.”

I packed my toiletries as well, and finally, when I zipped my suitcase, I felt drained.

When I turned to face him, his gaze was already on me, full of sadness and a tenderness I hadn’t expected.

“I…I packed enough for a couple of months.” I gave him that. Gave it to myself as well.

“Okay.” He pressed his lips into a thin line.

“I came by Uber last night. My car’s still at Savannah Lace.”

“I’ll take you.” His voice was firm, leaving no room for argument. Not that I wanted to argue. I wanted more time with him. This felt so final…so…wrong, and yet, it also felt right, for me .

We didn’t talk much on the drive over. Halfway there, he reached for my hand, and I took it—our fingers lacing together with the ease of old habit. My heart ached as I gave his hand a soft squeeze, and he squeezed back, saying everything we didn’t have words for.

When he pulled up in front of Savannah Lace, he put the car in park but didn’t move. Neither did I.

“I’m going to call you every day,” he said finally, his voice steady.

I smiled through the ache in my heart. “I’ll always pick up. ”

Sebastian turned toward me fully then, his expression raw. “I don’t know how to do this without you, Lia.”

I swallowed against the lump in my throat and leaned forward, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. He cupped my face, deepening it just slightly before pulling back.

“You won’t have to,” I whispered. “This is just…us getting better?” It came out as a question rather than a statement.

“I want to say I don’t understand how we do that without being together, but…I get it. You need space. You have always taken care of everyone else. Now, you need to take care of yourself .”

My eyes filled. What the hell was I doing?

“Go, baby,” Sebastian urged his voice tight with emotion. “I’ll be waiting for you, okay? This is us working through our…shit.”

I gave him a watery laugh. “Promise?”

“I do.”