Page 52 of Best Kept Secret (The New York Thunder #3)

MILLIE

W hen Logan calms enough that his breathing evens out, that his eyes are less glazed, and his heart rate has eased to a fast yet steady beat, I move in closer, lifting a hand and cupping his stubbled jaw.

“Talk to me, Logan,” I whisper.

His eyes bounce between mine. “I-I told him.”

My eyebrows draw together. “Told who, what?”

“Him,” he seethes through gritted teeth. “I told him the truth. About Levi.”

My eyes widen as realization dawns on me.

I knew this was bad. Seeing him slumped against the door, a shell of himself, was worse than finding him in his car that night.

And I knew it had to have something to do with his father, because Logan told me he was the only person who has the ability to pull him into the darkness. But I didn’t realize it was this bad.

“I got a call from Treetops,” Logan continues. “That… asshole … hasn’t paid my mother’s care bill in over three months. Three fucking months,” he grits out. “She was on the verge of being displaced.”

I can see the panic emerging again; it’s there in his eyes, and I place my hand against his chest, pressing firmly with a murmured, “Breathe, baby.”

He takes a breath, closing his eyes a moment. “I sorted it out, but I was so… fucking angry. I couldn’t even see straight. So I left the children’s hospital early, and I drove out there. To his house.”

I swallow hard, knowing that whatever happened can’t be good.

“I went there with the intention to hurt him in any way that I possibly could,” Logan admits, averting his gaze, unable to look at me. “And I’m not proud of that.”

“What happened?” I press gently.

A muscle in his jaw ticks, and I see his hand clench into a fist. “Punched him.”

I can’t stop the gasp that escapes me.

“I told him to stay the fuck away from me, from my mother. But then he said something… he said something I didn’t like, something horrible, and so I told him he’s the reason Levi did what he did.

That he killed his own damn son.” Logan starts to breathe hard again.

Hard and fast, and I know he’s spiraling.

I cup both his cheeks, forcing his eyes on me. “Logan, look me in my eyes and breathe. I need you to breathe.”

With shuddered, shallow breaths, he does as I say, and slowly I see the darkness is his eyes begin to fade.

“I hate him so much, Red,” he mutters, tears glistening and threatening to spill over. “I hate him so damn much.” He searches my eyes as he continues, “So why do I feel so shitty?”

“Oh, baby. C’mere.” I wrap my arms around him and hold him, and he grips me so damn tight, crying against me while I whisper to him that I’ve got him, and that everything is going to be okay even though I don’t know if it is.

I tiptoe out of the bedroom, carefully closing the door so as not to wake Logan.

It took him a while, but he eventually fell asleep.

I didn’t want to leave him; I wanted to hold him while he slept, wanted to be there in case he woke up.

But Dallas and Emily are still here. And, as I walk out into the great room, finding my brother sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows resting on his knees, a vacant, pissed off look in his eyes as he stares straight ahead at nothing at all, I know I have some explaining to do.

“Hey, is he… okay?” Emily whispers, jumping up from her spot on the couch next to Dallas.

It doesn’t go unnoticed that my brother doesn’t even acknowledge me, still staring at nothing, his jaw ticking like he’s grinding his molars.

“Um—” I hesitate, tucking my hair behind my ears, looking at where the table has been cleared, the kitchen tidied. “Yeah. He’s… he’s sleeping.”

“In his bed, or yours?” Dallas suddenly asks, his question loaded and grating.

Meeting his hard stare, I lift my chin a little higher as I say, “Ours.”

He huffs a laugh, shaking his head. “Great, so, what? Now you’re fucking one of my teammates. Awesome,” he mutters, turning away.

I swear, I can almost feel my blood boiling just beneath the surface of my skin. “Yeah, we are fucking ,” I snap back, shocking both him and Emily.

Dallas stands, turning to me, his eyes blazing wild as he takes a step closer. Emily moves in between us like a referee, holding her hand against his chest.

I continue, “But we’re also in love.”

“In love?” Dallas throws his head back, laughing obnoxiously. “Don’t make me laugh.”

I glare at him. Even Emily looks at him like he’s being a dick.

“You’ve known the guy for what? A matter of weeks? And you’re in love.” He snorts .

“Actually, I’ve known him since October,” I say, folding my arms across my chest. “Remember? When you ditched me in Detroit for a piece of ass?” I narrow my eyes.

“Ew,” Emily says on a sigh, closing her eyes on a grimace.

“Sorry, Em.” I look at her and she gives me a slight wave, dismissing my apology, and I turn back to my brother.

“You hooked up with him last year?” Dallas seethes.

I don’t answer him. He doesn’t need to know the details. Instead, I soften, cocking my head to the side. “I’m not telling you this to hurt you, D. I’m telling you this because I am in love. For the first time in my life. And so is Logan. And I’m not proud of myself for keeping it from you.”

“Sounds familiar, huh, babe?” Emily says, throwing Dallas a pointed look.

His jaw clenches, and I see a flash of resignation in his eyes.

“It’s why we invited you guys here tonight. To tell you. Together. But then…” I trail off, waving a hand in the direction of my bedroom.

With a huff, Dallas folds his arms across his chest, jutting his chin in the direction of where Logan is hopefully still sleeping through our shouting match. “What’s wrong with him, anyway?”

I bite back a smile because despite the steely look in his eye and the tightness of his jaw, I can tell he’s coming around. I know it’s not my place to tell Dallas and Emily any of Logan’s business, but I also know they deserve some sort of explanation since they witnessed it firsthand.

“Logan suffers from panic attacks,” I say carefully.

Dallas’s eyebrows bunch together. “I didn’t know.”

“He hasn’t told anyone on the team.” I shrug. “Not even Happy.”

“What brings them on?”

I hesitate, but then I shake my head. “I-I can’t?—”

“Hey, guys.”

Gasping, I spin around at the sound of the low, rasped voice coming from behind me, my eyes widening at the sight of Logan leaning against the wall. He steps into the light of the great room, walking slow, a hand held to his chest, and I rush to him, wrapping my arm around his waist to help him.

“I’m okay, baby,” he assures me with a gravelly whisper, kaleidoscope eyes meeting mine through his glasses, the hint of a smile ghosting his lips as he leans in and places a tender kiss to my forehead.

I hear Dallas groan from across the way, but I ignore him, seeing Emily slap him in his chest from my periphery.

“Do you want something to drink?” I ask, helping him to take a seat on the couch. “Water? Moon Milk?”

“A water, please?”

I squeeze his shoulder, turning and hurrying to the kitchen.

Emily sits down on the opposite side of the U-shaped sofa, and as I fill a glass with chilled water, I watch her peer up at Dallas, offering him a threatening look before pointing to the space next to her on the couch. With a muttered curse, my brother sits down, huffing an exasperated breath.

I rush back over to Logan, handing him the glass of water before taking a seat next to him, and I don’t miss the way my brother’s gaze dips to where my hand rests against Logan’s thigh before lifting and meeting my eyes.

I arch a brow, silently daring him to say something and, clearing his throat, he looks away, jaw clenched tight, like it’s taking all he has to keep his big, fat mouth shut.

“I know this is wrong, Tex,” Logan says. “I know you probably wanna punch me in the dick right now.”

“Don’t fuckin’ tempt me,” Dallas quips.

“I love Millie.” Logan looks at me then, talking to my brother while staring into my eyes as he says, “I love her more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone, and I’ve been in love with her since the first night I met her.

” He winks at me before turning back to Dallas.

“So… kick my ass if you need to, but it’s not gonna stop me from loving her. I’m sorry. ”

Silence settles, and it’s awkward as hell.

Emily glances at Dallas, touching his thigh, clearing her throat obviously.

“I don’t really give a shit,” Dallas finally says. “I mean, yes, she’s my sister, and if you hurt her I’m gonna tie you to the cross bar, naked, and have Mason practice his slapshots at your skinny ass.”

I roll my eyes.

“But just… promise me one thing.” Dallas looks between Logan and me. “When it ends?—”

“Hey!” Emily holds up a warning finger at her fiancé, and he shifts in his seat, holding his hands up in surrender.

“I mean… if it were to… end… or, I don’t know, if you guys were to fight or shit—” He rolls his eyes, continuing, “Please just don’t let it come between us. Or the team. That’s all I ask.”

Logan shakes his head, glancing at me as he says, “It’s not gonna end.” He turns back to my brother, continuing, “But you have my word.”

There’s a sudden unspoken truce that passes between my brother and Logan, snuffing out the tension in the air. I feel Logan relax some, and I flash my brother a small smile that he returns with a curt nod.