Page 13 of Bern and Isley (D-Ville Projects #5)

Isley

I washed my hands and set the timer on my phone for three minutes.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror.

My face was fresh and my bronze skin glowed.

My brown eyes appeared a little bleary. My faux locs were still looking pretty good after six weeks.

And I was thankful for that because I didn’t have the energy to redo them yet.

Between the nausea and drowsiness, I hadn’t been up to much of anything the last few days.

“So, what’s tea?” Snow asked when I emerged from the bathroom.

I shrugged as I plopped down on the sofa in her living room. “I don’t know. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the results.”

She looked at me with concerned eyes. “It’s going to be alright, Isley. If it’s positive, I support you in any decision you make. Just know I’m willing to help you in any way I can. Not only me, but you already know Bern will be there for you.”

Bern. I couldn’t get the image of the disappointment on his face when he asked if I could be pregnant. He was just about to share something important with me when I damn near vomited on him. When I asked him about it later, he said it could wait.

“Thank you, Snow. I’m so confused and don’t know what I want to do.”

“First things first, let’s find out if you’re pregnant. Do you want me to go look at the test results?”

“Yeah,” I told her as I buried my head in my hands in anticipation. My heart thumped in my chest like a bass drum pedal. My stomach tossed and turned. I didn’t know if I needed to vomit or if I had the bubble guts.

I heard Snow’s sandals smacking the hardwood floors when she returned to the living room.

“Well… the test confirms that you have a bun in the oven. You’re pregnant, Isley.”

I looked up to see her holding the test out, facing me.

“Ugggghhhh,” I groaned. “This has to be the worst timing ever. I fucked up.”

Snow plopped down beside me on the sofa. She rubbed her palm against my back in a comforting way. “I know it’s not how you planned motherhood, but you’ve always wanted to be a mom, right?”

“Yeah, I do… but I’m not ready for this. I can’t afford this. I don’t want to deal with Marshall ever again,” I rambled nervously as my mind worked overtime. Shit was overwhelming. I needed a drink or two. But I couldn’t do that. Not in my current state.

“You don’t have to tell him.” She shrugged.

“If I go through with the pregnancy, I will tell him. My conscience won’t let me keep it from him no matter how much I’d rather keep it a secret.”

“How do you think he’ll respond?”

“I don’t even know, honestly,” I admitted. A part of me wanted to believe he would want to do the right thing, but I wouldn’t bet my money on it. I wasn’t too sure about anything at the moment.

After getting my bearings together, I told Snow I needed to go home to lay down.

I needed some time to think. I felt overwhelmed with so many emotions.

But fear was the one that weighed on me like a boulder.

How was I going to afford a baby? Did I have the mental bandwidth to handle being a single mother while also being a caregiver for my aunt?

It stressed me out just thinking about it all.

Instead of walking to my apartment, I headed down to my car.

Going for a ride seemed like a better choice.

My air conditioner wasn’t blowing cool enough for me, so I rolled the windows down as I cruised the streets of Diamond Falls.

Soulful tunes of DeBarge played low through the speakers as the wind blew through my locs.

Traffic was steady as it was a weekday afternoon.

After riding around for forty-five minutes, I found myself heading to Bern’s house.

When I pulled into the driveway, I saw him standing on the porch conversing with a woman.

Instinctively, a frown spread across my face.

Who was she? I saw her gently shove him and giggle just as I got out of the car.

Bern was shirtless and wore cream colored gym shorts with house slippers.

The chick was my complexion. She wore a coral sports bra and black compression shorts with On sneakers. I slowly approached the two.

“What’s up, Icey?” He smiled faintly. “I didn’t know you were coming by.”

“Is this a bad time?” My voice dripped with irritation.

“Hell nah… you know it’s never a bad time for you to drop by.” He turned to the lady. “This is Alyssa, she just moved in across the street.”

“Hi.” She pulled her long, relaxed hair behind her ear as she waved at me with a half-smile.

“Hi,” I responded dryly before turning my attention to Bern. “I need to talk to you.”

“I need to go anyway,” Alyssa admitted. “I’ll see you around, Claybern.”

“Cool, be easy,” Bern responded. He turned toward the door. “Come on in, Icey.”

I trailed him into the house. The smell of bacon grease instantly made me nauseous.

I sprinted to the bathroom to vomit. The peanut butter crackers I snacked on earlier didn’t taste as good coming up.

I rinsed my mouth and washed my hands before returning to the living area where Bern sat on the arm of the sofa.

“You good?”

“I don’t know,” I confessed. My eyes watered.

“So did you take a test yet?”

“Yeah.”

“And?” He crossed his arms over his bare chest.

“I’m pregnant.”

It was like the blood drained from his face when the words poured from my mouth. We both were quiet. It was completely silent outside of the ticking of Ms. Cynthia’s grandfather clock.

“Congratulations,” he said.

“I can’t have a baby right now.”

“You can… it’s just a matter if you want to. What the nigga got to say about it?”

“He doesn’t know.”

“You planning on telling him?”

“I don’t know…I don’t know shit.” My voice cracked. “I can’t take care of a baby and Aunt Fee. It’s too much.”

Bern came and sat next to me. His eyes watered but he blinked hard and fast as he grabbed my hand. He interlocked his fingers with mine. “Please calm down, Icey. You can’t get all worked up. I know this shit seems impossible, but you know I’m willing to do anything I can to help you.”

“That sounds good and all, but I can’t depend on that. You have your own life.”

“You’re not asking me to do anything and you can depend on me. We’ve been friends for damn near twenty years. Why would you say you can’t depend on me?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” I sighed. “I’m just saying it’s not your responsibility. And that I would still be a full-time single mother. That’s not how I wanted things to be. It’s not the way I envisioned motherhood.”

“So what’s your options? You’re not thinking about getting back with that nigga, are you?”

“Hell no… that’s not happening. If I decide to tell him, I’m only open to co-parenting. And I honestly can’t imagine having to deal with him for eighteen years… Termination may be the best option.”

“I support whatever decision you make, but I really hope you don’t rush to decide. I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

I nodded. He made a good point. I didn’t want to rush my decision, but if I wanted to end the pregnancy, I would need to decide within the next few weeks.