Page 96 of Beneath the Stain

For the very first time, he felt with all of his heart why Mackey had taken that first pill, that first bump, that first shot of juice.

Because this? This promise of pain? This was one of the fucking scariest things Trav had ever felt.

He should be as strong as Mackey.

I Wish That I Could See You Again

ITWASunaccountably nerve-racking, going on that first date. For one thing, Mackey did not have acluewhat to wear. He finally had to ask for advice from the one person in the household who could actually dress but whowasn’tTravis Ford.

Shelia was thrilled.

“Something sexy,” she said, poring over the computer catalogue with him, “but not… you know. Not your concert stuff, where you look like sex on legs.”

Mackey grinned at her. “Iamsex on legs,” he crowed, but she didn’t follow him down the bantering lane, and he was disappointed.

“Here,” she said, thoroughly engrossed in the shopping aspect. “These jeans, right here. The black ones that come right to your hips—”

“Not the low-waisters?” Mackey had waxed again and everything.

“I thought we weren’t doing strangers in the green room anymore,” she asked, but without judgment or even sarcasm. She was just trying to make sure.

Mackey smiled at her, and it occurred to him that she was a sweet kid, and he liked her, but they weren’t ever going to be best friends. “No,” he replied, perfectly sincere. “No strangers in green rooms. Just a trip to the movie theater. It’s not even a premiere. Then dinner. Then a walk on the beach.” Mackey held up the Post-It Note, which, true to form, had the date, Saturday, and the time—leave the house at six—and the itinerary. “See? Schedule and everything.”

Trav had probably been aware of the irony.

Shelia just nodded.

“Okay. Good. Then we know what we need. A jacket—nothing too fancy, something sort of classic…. Here. Black, like the jeans, with that white seaming so it’s trendy? Yeah, you see.”

“And if we order this now, it’ll get here in time?” he asked.

Shelia nodded. “It will if you pay the extra shipping. It’ll probably get here tomorrow—I think the distributor is in LA. I used to work for them.”

Now thatdidsurprise him. “So you worked retail before you… uhm, met the twins?”

“Oh yeah. You probably don’t remember, but the last time you played the Coliseum in Oakland, there was a radio contest to go backstage. It was one of those festival things—you guys were in the middle, which meant you did like six or seven songs—and there were a bunch of us just eating off the cart. You disappeared, but Stevie and Jefferson came over to talk. I’d gotten fired to show up that day, you know? And we stayed up all night talking, and they asked me to go to Portland for the next concert, and eventually I just resigned my lease to my roommate and stayed.”

Mackey couldn’t even laugh at that. “Just followed the music, huh?”

Shelia smiled, so completely at peace with her life, Mackey sort of envied her. “Yup. Just lucked out that Jefferson and Stevie were part of it. And that they didn’t make me choose, because I couldn’t.”

“Are you kidding?” Mackey snorted. “They’ve been looking for someone who could love them both for their entire lives.”

She had magnificently wide green eyes, and she turned them on Mackey and blinked slowly. “You and your mom are maybe the only two people in the world who get that. Who totally accept it. That they’re not gay and we’re not perverts, we’re just in love.” Her smile didn’t even twist. “Your brothers really love you. I’m so glad you’re going to be okay.”

Mackey turned away, uncomfortable. “Well, happy is happy,” he muttered. “Can I get the bright blue shirt? The one like a November sky?”

“Oh my God,” she murmured. “That’s why you write songs, isn’t it?”

Ack! “Can I?” he insisted. “Because I don’t believe you when you say it’s going to show up before the damned date.”

“Yeah, sure, but I think the emerald green would be better since you’re all blond again.”

Mackey looked at both the colors side by side. Yeah. He could see her point. “Green is fine. Shoes? Socks?”

“Yup—here’s the website right here. I still don’t know why you didn’t want to go shopping—there’s boutiques just down the….” Shelia looked outside the window and sighed. “Yeah. Still there. It was nice of them to give you a break right after rehab, wasn’t it?”

Sure enough, the small cadre of paparazzi who had started camping out on the sidewalk in front of the driveway was still there. Soccer chairs, Starbucks, long-range cameras. Mackey had asked if he could stand on the roof and beat off in public just to give them something to do. Trav said he’d move back in with his old boyfriend if Mackey did that; apparently the fucker had cheated. Mackey figured that was a serious threat right there.