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Gwen

T he sun blares through the curtains of my mother’s guest room my old room. The warmth forces my eyes open, though I resist at first. Last night, I actually slept hard. Guess after a good cry comes good sleep. I have no idea how I’m going to get through today without explaining why I’m here or what happened. Might as well face the music and let it all out.

Dragging myself out of bed, I walk over to my bags, unzipping one and staring down at the wads of cash stuffed inside. My stomach twists. This can’t be good. Maybe taking the money was a mistake. Jameson will come looking for it. By now, he’s probably already figured out it’s gone.

At least I never brought him here. Still, it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist or even a basic Google search to track down my mother’s address. I shove the thought aside. Happy thoughts, Gwen. No point dwelling on the past when I don’t live there anymore.

Grabbing the cash, I stuff it under the mattress. Not the best hiding spot, but it’ll have to do. I reach for the .45 and place it on the other side of the bed. The gun is heavy, its cold, slate-gray metal pressing against my palm. A small, carved crown decorates the handle. I don’t know what it means maybe just a design choice, something to make it look prettier. Modern-day Jesse James or some shit like that. Shaking off the thought, I pull on my band T-shirt and ripped jeans, sliding them on as I head toward the bedroom door. As I step into the hallway, I hear voices drifting up from the kitchen.

My mother, Romona Riviera, is dressed in one of her nicest suits, seated at the table. Across from her was my little brother with his blonde curls wild and untamed chatters away. Trying not to be noticed, I slide into the room and slip behind my brother Levi’s chair, wrapping my arms around him. He shrieks in joy and jumps up to hug me. “Gwen!!” “Hey, little brother! Have you grown like two feet since I saw you last?” I squeeze him tight.

“Well, if you’d come around more, you’d see I grew at least three feet,” he smirks. A pang of regret settles deep in my chest. I haven’t been a very good big sister. He’s needed me, and I’ve been lost in nothing but trouble. I’m going to make up for the lost time. First, I have to get my life situated. Once I do, he’ll want for nothing. How was I so oblivious to the people I should have been here for? Yet, there I was, doing all the wrong things for a man who used me for his own gain. A man who came into my life at a time I desperately needed a friend.

I was weak. That will never be me again. From here on out, I will never bow to a man who can’t keep his hands off me. Levi grabs his backpack and heads to school. My mother, dressed in one of her best suits, stands by the door, sipping her coffee ready to go to work. There are houses to be sold, and she’s the queen of getting people to fall in love and buy them. She has people skills the kind I lack. “We’re having dinner tonight, and I’m going to need some answers, sweetheart,” she says, her voice gentle but firm. Am I ready to talk? Should I tell her the truth? That I stole fifty grand from my drug dealer boyfriend. That he owes it to the mafia. That he was planning to sell me to them to pay off his debt. Yeah, that will go over really well. “Yes, Mother,” I mutter, rolling my eyes as I walk back down the hall. The front door clicks shut behind her.

At the end of the hall, my father’s study looms, untouched, unchanged. I haven’t stepped inside that room in years. The door is right there. Maybe… just maybe… seeing it again wouldn’t hurt. But I don’t know if I’m ready for that much emotion right now. I hesitate for a second longer, then shake off the thought. I have bigger problems. Like the fact that I have exactly one outfit and I’m still wearing it. Spinning on my heel, I hurry upstairs, grab some cash, and head out the door. Thankfully, the city isn’t far just a short walk from the suburbs. I haven’t gone shopping in so long. Do I even remember how?

This is a new me. So, I need to act and dress the part. Leave the old me behind and start fresh. Dress how I want to be seen. Sighing, I push forward. As I walk, people pass by, completely unaware of who I am or what I’ve been through. They have no idea I used to help sell drugs.

No clue my hands were dirty with money made from illegal deals. I don’t look the part. I never have. I used to love how I looked. Today, I’m getting back to that girl. The one who thought she was a bombshell. Flirtatious, outgoing, wild. The life of the party. Now, I’m just tired. Beaten down by the world, taking hit after hit. I need her back.

Step one: deleting the past. That starts with throwing out my band T-shirts and becoming the girl I want to be. Finally reaching the clothing store, I step inside. A group of girls is gathered near the racks, talking and laughing. Something about them feels… familiar. Then, my eyes land on her. A dark-haired, big-eyed beauty. I’ve seen that face so many times. As she turns around, it clicks. Madeline Skylark. As kids, we were never close. High school drove us even further apart. She was the top cheerleader popular, confident, always the center of attention. By the time we graduated, she was already spoken for. She’s an Italian beauty. And me? I was the girl who just got by. Friends with everyone, but belonging nowhere. As I step closer, she spots me. Her bright smile spreads across her face, and she waves. I freeze. She recognizes me?

“Gwendolyn Rivera, I haven’t seen you since high school! How are you, girl?” Maddie exclaims as she makes her way toward me. “Maddie, long time. I’m doing good, actually just moved back,” I reply, attempting small talk. “What? No way! That’s so great to hear. We definitely need to get together. Where are you staying?” she asks, her eyes bright with excitement. “I’m actually back at my mother’s. She’s lonely, and I figured I’d come stay with her for a while,” I say with a smile, trying to make it sound believable. “Now, that’s just the sweetest! Hey, are you doing anything Saturday night? There’s a new club that just opened down by Crescent Villas, and I’m in desperate need of a girls’ night. What do you say?” You know what? What could it hurt? I could blow off some steam. I can’t even remember the last time I had a friend to do anything with that wasn’t illegal.

“Yeah, that sounds amazing. I haven’t had a good time in so long!” I admit, just before she jumps and claps excitedly. She’s dressed in a summer dress with high heels, her long hair cascading down her back. Looking at her, I realize that’s exactly how I need to be seen. The thought slams into me. She can help me. Maddie has an incredible sense of style, and she always smells so damn good. “Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve been shopping. Wanna come along with me and rub off some of that great taste you have in clothes?” Maddie’s eyes light up like football stadium lights, and for a second, I think she might actually burst with joy.

“Oh my gosh! Are you serious? I would love to! That is literally my dream job!” she squeals. “Great! Show me the way,” I say, feeling a genuine sense of excitement for the first time in a while.

After hours of shopping, we finally arrive at my house. Maddie insisted on giving me a ride home, and honestly, I was thankful. Carrying all these bags full of shoes, clothes, and everything else I splurged on would have been hell on foot. The driveway is empty. The house, lifeless. We bid our goodbyes and finalize our plans for Saturday night. Then, with all my bags in hand, I push the front door open and step inside. Silence.

This house has always felt empty, but the feeling has haunted these halls even more since my father’s wreck. I shake it off and head upstairs to my room. So many bags. So many outfits with jewelry to match. Shopping was exhausting, but it felt good. What I won’t dwell on is the fact that the money I just spent is basically signing Jameson’s death certificate sooner rather than later. Stripping off my clothes, I step into the shower, letting the hot steam swallow me whole. I scrub away the worries, letting the scent of expensive shampoo erase the stench of everything else. For now, I let myself feel clean.

Letting the water run off my body, I reach for a towel then freeze. My heart slams against my ribs as I jump, pressing my back against the cold tile. For a split second, my mind races to the worst possible scenario. Jameson. He’s found me. I hold my breath. Then

“I’m starting dinner, Gwen! Come downstairs when you’re done!” My mother’s voice cuts through the pounding in my chest, muffled over the sound of rushing water. Exhaling sharply, I force my pulse to slow. I turn off the water, wrap a towel around my body, and quickly throw on some clothes, twisting my wet hair up into another towel. Well, let’s get this over with. I know she’s waiting downstairs, ready to ask what the hell is going on with me. And I know she won’t stop until she gets some kind of answer. But tonight?

Tonight, doesn’t feel like the night to spill my guts. What’s a few more little lies going to hurt? She doesn’t need to know the whole truth, anyway. A few pretty little white lies never hurt anyone, right?