Page 7 of Beneath His Vow (Knocked Up and Locked Down #1)

SEVEN

LEXI

I’ve never been this nervous. Not when I married Casey in front of the entire club, not when I told him I loved him, not even when I first discovered I’m pregnant.

But right now, lying on this narrow table waiting to see our baby has my stomach twisting.

What if something is wrong? What if I imagined the whole thing and I’m not really pregnant?

I know that is ridiculous considering the amount of symptoms I’ve had over the last four weeks. I thought things would calm down by now, but I’m twelve weeks and I’m still puking my soul up most days.

Casey hovers close by, like a fucking guard. I’m not entirely sure what he thinks he needs to defend me against in the OB’s office, but I can tell he’s nervous too. It’s kind of sweet.

The paper rustles beneath my ass when I wiggle my leggings down to reveal my stomach. I thought I’d be showing by now, but I just look bloated. My hips are softer though, something Casey likes more than he should. He is forever grabbing my love handles.

The ultrasound tech squirts the jelly on my stomach, and I suck in a breath at how cold it is. Then the probe is pressed to my skin. The tech talks as she moves around my lower belly, clicking things on her little computer.

Then she turns the screen. “Here’s baby.”

I blink. The last time we had an ultrasound, it was impossible to tell what we were looking at, but this, this looks like a baby.

I stare at that grainy black-and-white picture as Casey strokes my hair like he’s trying to comfort me.

“Look at our kid,” he murmurs.

“Everything looks good,” the tech says.

“Can you tell if it’s a boy or girl?”

Her smile is soft. “That’ll be at the next scan you have—the anatomy one. But right now, baby looks happy and active.”

We leave the appointment, both of us in silence. His hand stays locked around mine, so I don’t fall while I stare at the printout she gave us.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

I glance up at him. “Yeah, I’m… I just… I knew there was a baby inside me, of course, but every time we see it on the screen like that makes it?—”

“More real?”

I nod and tuck the photograph away.

“Are you scared?” I ask as he leads me to the truck.

“Terrified.”

I stop walking, and he turns to look back at me. “But you’re not scared of anything, Casey.”

He moves into my space, his huge frame looming over my smaller one. I rest my hands on his chest, underneath his cut. His skin is warm, but it’s the racing of his heart that has my attention. “You think there’s nothing that scares me?”

I hesitate. “I don’t know. You always seem so in control. I’m the one who’s always freaking out about things.”

“Babe, I’m fuckin’ scared all the time.”

“About what?”

“About you, our kid.” His hand rests over my stomach as he says it.

“About the club and the people I’m responsible for in it.

I worry that you push yourself too hard to prove to me that you’re tough because you’re surrounded by hard men.

” He rests his forehead to mine, his hand still on my belly, his fingers circling back and forth.

“I’m scared that one day you’ll wake up and realize you can do better than me.

I’m scared that if you did, I’d never let you leave. ”

If anyone else said those words, I’d be filing a restraining order and keeping mace in my purse. But I know Casey, how he ticks, how he thinks. I know how deep his feelings go, even the ones he tries to bury.

I press my hand over the top of his, interlacing our fingers over our baby.

“I’m not going anywhere. You put your property patch on me, Casey.

You gave me a ring and your last name. Now you’ve given me the chance to be a mother.

You think I’m leaving? You really think I could do better than you?

” I trail the fingers of my other hand over his face.

“No one could ever love me as big as you do. And I wouldn’t want anyone to.

” I press a kiss to his mouth, soft and as sacred as he gives to me every time he touches me.

“You tell me constantly that I’m yours, but you’re mine too, Casey. ”

Our mouths fuse, every swipe of his tongue possessive just how I like. “I don’t know how to breathe without you.”

“Well, luckily you don’t have to. Come on, take me back to work and you can show me tonight exactly how much you need me.”

He smirks, then opens the car door for me. He helps me into the truck, then as always, tugs my seat belt around me.

When I’m secure, I expect him to close the door, but he stays crouched, his eyes locked on my stomach.

“Casey?”

He lifts his gaze mine. “I fucking love you.”

Tears prick my eyes. “You can’t say shit like that to me and expect me to sit in my depressing little cubicle for the next five hours.”

“So don’t go. Come home with me, we’ll crawl into bed, and I’ll worship every inch of your pretty pussy.”

My thighs clench, even as I look around to make sure nobody heard him say that. “I wish I could, but James is already up my ass.”

And that’s an understatement. He is picking apart every aspect of my work, belittling me in front of my colleagues, and those little fucking touches he does as he passes by me…

I know if I told Casey it would stop, but only because he’d put James six feet underground.

He tenses. “I’m hearing this guy’s name from you too fucking much. He giving you shit? Because if he is?—”

I cut off before he loses his mind and James becomes a footnote in history. “No, it’s fine. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

His eyes narrow. “I don’t want you to handle shit, Lexi. What exactly are you handling?”

Dammit. Me and my big mouth. “Nothing. Everything is fine. It’s just corporate bullshit. Works busy and everybody has a lot of pressure on them right now.” I stroke his face. “But I love you for trying to fix even the things you can’t.”

He grunts, clearly offended. But he stands, kissing my forehead before he closes the door. As he walks around to the driver’s side, I let myself breathe. I should tell him about James, but I don’t really know what to say.

He’s subtle, friendly even. Not that it would matter to Casey. The fact I’m uncomfortable would lead to a bloodbath.

So I hold my tongue, and I let him drive me back to work.

Outside my building, he puts the car into park and then kisses me like he’s never going to see me again.

As always, he waits until I’m inside before he drives off.

By the time I get to my desk, I’m smiling and counting down the hours until I’m back in Casey’s arms.

Tasha lifts her head over my cubicle wall.

“So? How did the scan go?”

I hand her the printout, and she squeals when she looks at it. “I can already tell your baby’s gonna be so fucking cute.”

I snort. “Obviously. If it looks anything like Casey —”

“Alexis, sorry Lexi. Good to see you back from your appointment.” My skin crawls at the sound of James’s voice behind me.

Tasha’s eyes widen, then narrow, then she gives me that universal look all girls give each other when we’re silently communicating. She hands me the picture and disappears behind the partition wall.

I tuck it in my purse, and try to ignore him. “I’m just getting set up and then I’ll send you over those files.”

“Thank you.” He doesn’t leave, and I glance over my shoulder.

“Did you need something?”

“You have a leaf.” Before I can stop him, he pulls my hair over my shoulder. His fingers graze over my neck and I shiver, and not the good kind. My heart is thumping against my rib cage so fast I can barely breathe.

My scalp tingles as he picks through my hair, pulling something free.

“There. All better.” He takes my hair again, sweeping it back into place, and I’m frozen.

Everything about this feels wrong, too invasive, too much.

“Please don’t do that again,” I say in a small voice, and I hate that it is. I don’t want to be cowed by this man.

But the way he looks at me, like I’m the problem, has my hand resting over my stomach. Protectively.

“It was just a leaf, Lexi. Maybe you shouldn’t have come in this afternoon if your appointment rattled you this much.”

He walks away before I can formulate a response. My hand reaches for my mouse, but I can’t ignore how much I’m shaking.

I should tell Casey. I should. But I won’t because I know what he’ll do when he finds out. I don’t want to be the reason he has blood on his hands, or chips another piece off his soul.

And he will lose his mind if he knows what’s happening to me. James won’t just be a footnote, he’ll be eradicated like he never existed.