Page 14 of Believe in Caloosa Springs (Caloosa Springs #3)
Porter
I grabbed the car keys and the box of chocolate chip cookies off the bed and hit the light switch. If all went well, I wouldn’t see my little home again until some time tomorrow. The thought of waking up next to Tian again brought a smile to my face. I locked the front door behind me and made quick steps towards the car.
The sky was clear, but the winter night was cold and unforgiving. I should have grabbed my hat. It was an afterthought that wasn’t worth the double back at that point.
When I opened the car door, the dim overhead light illuminated the space enough to see a body sitting in the passenger’s seat.
I shouted and cursed, jumping backwards and nearly slipping on the loose gravel. The box of cookies flew out of my hands as they instinctively balled into fists at the scare.
“What the hell, Henry!” I yelled, my fist going over my chest as I tried to recover.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, opening the door and getting out of the car.
I bent down and grabbed the box of cookies, grateful that the cardboard had held, and the contents were safe. I leaned into the car and wedged the small box between the dashboard and the bottom of the windshield to hold it in place.
“What are you doing just sitting in the car?” I exclaimed.
“I wanted to talk to you,” he said anxiously. Henry pulled his phone out of his back pocket and started to make his way around the front of the car towards me.
“Why didn’t you just knock on the door?” I asked.
“I did, and you didn’t answer. Then I got cold, and the car was unlocked, so I just figured I would wait for you there. I have to show you something.”
“Henry,” I sighed, “now’s not really a good time. I’m on my way out for the evening.”
Henry’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah, I know. Wouldn’t want to make a porn star wait.”
“What did you say?”
The wind picked up a bit, swirling a bitter chill around us. I could hardly feel it with the blood boiling beneath my skin. I’d had just about enough of good ol’ Henry.
“He’s a whore, Porter!” Henry spat between plumes of hot breath condensing against the cold as he turned his phone screen around to show me a thumbnail of Tian fingering himself on some porn site.
I reached up and snatched the phone from Henry’s hand at lightning speed and hurled it to the ground at his feet with enough force to shatter the screen and make it go dark. Henry opened his mouth to say something but just gulped as I grabbed fistfuls of his collar and backed him up against the car.
“Porter!”
“No! You listen to me, and you listen good, because this is the one and only time you are going to get away with talking about him like that. Do you understand ?”
“Y-yes.” Henry was beginning to cry, so I let him go and took a step back.
“And who are you to invade his privacy like that? Who else have you shown that to?” I demanded.
“No one. I’ve been waiting to show you! You don’t even care that he does that,” Henry whimpered.
I took a deep breath, “Henry, between the two of us, I’ve always been the smart one. Do you honestly think that, if you of all people managed to find it, that I didn’t already know?”
Henry’s eyes went wide. “You… you know the whole time?”
“Move, Henry.” I shoved him aside. “I’m late.”
“I don’t understand, Porter. Why are you being like this?”
“Why are you being like this? If I wanted someone breathing down my neck and judging the person I fall in love with, I’d have stayed back in Utah. What did the Bible say, Henry? Judge not, lest ye be judged ? That’s from Matthew 7. You don’t know him.”
“You can’t be serious. You don’t love him, Porter. You haven’t known him long enough for that.”
“What would you know about love, Henry? You can’t even love me.”
“You take that back! You’re like my brother!”
“Then why can’t you accept me?” I cried.
“I do accept you!”
“You’re a liar. You might think you accept me, but when push comes to shove you fall back into that horseshit we’ve been force-fed since birth, and I’m not talking about being gay. I’m talking about judging someone because of the way they look or dress. Tian makes me so happy, and I meant what I said. I’m falling in love with him. He is one of the softest, kindest, sexiest guys I’ve ever met, and you’ve done nothing but try to keep me away from him. He’s never said a single cross word to you.”
“I just think you should explore your options a little before getting all stupid over a-” I clenched my jaw and Henry quickly corrected. “ ...him.”
“Yeah, I know exactly what kind of options you’d like me to explore,” I spat, grabbing the box of cookies off the dashboard before tossing them towards an unexpecting Henry. He startled a bit and flung his arms up, managing to catch the box just before it hit the ground. Henry looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit!” The bitter cold ripped the word from my mouth. “Again, Henry, I’m a lot smarter than you are. You don’t think I notice you sitting with Max and whispering all the time? Do you think I’m too stupid to pick up on his shameless flirting and popping by with cookies, muffins, and chili , and anything else he makes too much of? Huh?” Henry tossed the box back into the car. I, however, was on a roll. “You honestly think I’m too stupid to recognize the pattern of him showing up just before I’m about to go see Tian? You two got some little game going, or something?”
“It’s not like that! I just want you to be happy...” His lower lip quivered.
“No, you want me to be happy on your terms. In the little boxes you’ve compartmentalized all of your trauma into. I’m allowed to be gay, and you’ll support me as long as I’m gay with someone you approve of. Someone you’ve taken it upon yourself to decide is right for me. Someone that hits the checkmarks of what you’ve decided would make me happy.”
I kicked at the ground with the toe of my boot. The ground was frozen, and the impact was hard, but I barely felt it. When thirty seconds had passed, and he still hadn’t said anything back, I spoke again. “I’m cold, Henry. And I’m late. Please move.”
When he didn’t budge, I steeled my expression. “Henry, if you don’t get the hell out of my way, you're going to be the next thing I leave behind.”
Henry gasped at my statement. “We’re supposed to be in this together!” There was a heavy stream of hot tears running down his cheeks, and his breath was quick and shallow in anxiety.
“Yeah, and you were supposed to have my back, not turn into the very thing I was running from.” I pushed past him and dove into the driver’s seat. In my haste, I slammed my forearm into the steering wheel, making me wince.
“You’ve changed, Porter!” he sobbed brokenly.
“Thank God.”
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