Page 15 of Beguiling the Duke
“Ah, so that’s how the party ended.” Dainsfield checked his cards and signaled the dealer for one more.
“What do you mean?” Lizzie reached for her glass, thought better of it, and checked her cards. She had two tens, so she didn’t ask for more.
Dainsfield’s mouth twitched. “I might have left a few days early, but I saw how things were between you and Teversham.”
“You know me too well to think that was anything more than a flirtation. The party ended, and we went our separate ways.”
“You might have convinced yourself of that, Lady Elborough, but don’t count out Teversham.” Dainsfield tossed a chip on the table for his next bet.
A warmth bloomed in Lizzie’s chest at his words. If only the situation were different. If only she could trust her heart not to be utterly destroyed if something were to happen to Matthew. They might have a beautiful life together. But she couldn’t take the risk.
The next morning, Christmas Eve, Lizzie sat down at her writing desk and penned a letter to Verity.
Dear Verity,
Thank you again for hosting such a lovely party. I enjoyed the opportunity to see you and St. Ervan, and meet your friends. You are a true friend, and I hope you will call on me the moment you are back in London.
These holidays often find me melancholic, dwelling too much on times now past. I fear I let that melancholy get the better of me sometimes and made foolish mistakes I might later regret. But the dawn brings a chance for renewal, and I am determined to face this new year with gladness in my heart.
Wishing you joy and every happiness,
Lizzie
She sealed the letter and set it aside to post, leaning back in her chair. The house was silent around her, the servants having the day to themselves. Lizzie had nowhere to go, no one with whom to share the day.
Usually, she did not mind the solitude and even found comfort in it. But today an emptiness gaped inside her, a longing for companionship and understanding. She thought of Matthew then, the way his presence could lift her spirits with a single smile. Even now, she missed him desperately.
How long would it take for that ache to fade? For the memory of him to cease tormenting her with all that might have been?
Lizzie shook off the gloom settling over her and stood, walking to the window. The morning was crisp and bright, and frost still clung to the pavement in the shadows. It was another beautiful winter day. There were still wonders in the world, and adventures left to be had. She had to gather her courage and step out to meet them.
Lizzie took a deep breath, steadying herself. She would not waste this day in mourning what was lost. There was too much life left to be lived.
Still, a pang of guilt struck her as she thought of Matthew. She had given him her affection, had allowed herself to care for another man. Would Alfred forgive her for it?
“I’m sorry, my love,” she whispered. “You will always remain first in my heart. But we both knew this life was meant to be shared, not lived alone.”
She had been happy with Alfred, and cherished the memories they’d made in the brief time given them. But he would not have wanted her to pine away in loneliness. He would want her to find love again.
“I hope that you understand,” Lizzie said softly. “And that you will give me your blessing, as I embark on this new journey.”
There was no response, of course, only the quiet of the room. But she felt a lightening in her spirit, a warmth that eased the ache inside. Perhaps it was her imagination, a comfort born of longing. Or perhaps it was Alfred’s silent reply, wishing her to follow her heart toward joy once more.
Lizzie smiled, wiping a tear from her cheek. Alfred would always remain in her memory, her first great love. But he would want her to love again.
And she was ready, she decided, to do just that.
CHAPTER 9
The chill seeped through Matthew’s greatcoat as his carriage rattled down the icy cobblestone lane. A golden glow emanated from the windows of Lizzie’s townhouse up ahead, a welcoming respite from the bleak winter night.
His heart quickened at the thought of seeing her again. It had only been three days since they parted at St. Ervan’s estate, but the memory of her soft smile and playful wit lingered in his mind.
He rapped the brass knocker and the housekeeper ushered him inside when he gave his name. Warmth enveloped him along with the scent of lemon oil.
In the sitting room, a fire crackled merrily in the hearth, casting a soft light over Lizzie’s features as the servant announced his arrival. Surprise flickered in Lizzie’s eyes before she offered a smile. “Your Grace, what a lovely surprise.” She rose and curtsied.
“Please, we’re past such formalities.” He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, relishing the feel of her smooth skin against his lips. “I couldn’t stay away.”