Page 19

CAMDEN

I t’s been a few days since Brooks and River have found out I’m an omega.

They handled it a lot better than I thought they would. Once we left, they brought me back to their place. It was like seeing them in a whole new light.

They’re treating me differently and I don’t hate it. They’re overprotective, and very possessive. Even more so than before.

When we’re out walking around the school grounds, they treat me like I’m glass that can be broken any moment.

I like it. I like the attention. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

But the feeling doesn’t last long because I’m too consumed by the crippling guilt because I’m still lying to them.

I should have told them about them being my scent matches when they found out about me being an Omega. It was the perfect chance. But I was too nervous, too panicked that they were going to snap at any moment. I didn’t want to push it. One lie was plenty, they were mad enough about that.

What would they have done about this one?

Mostly I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want Henley to get in more trouble than he was already.

When we got back to their place, the guys got me set up in front of the TV with popcorn and a drink. They left the room and moments later I heard yelling. I hated it and covered my ears so I didn’t have to listen.

My stomach was in knots, that's when the guilt amplified. I wanted to go in there and remind them why he kept my secret. But I was frozen by fear of saying something wrong and making things worse.

So I kept my mouth shut and they joined me a little while later like nothing happened.

The biggest adjustment has been being off my scent blockers. I stopped taking them that day.

And I’ve been a mess ever since. Waiting for my scent to bloom, for the guys to have a sniff and find out yet another life changing event.

They were understanding about me being an omega, but I don’t think they’re going to be about finding out I’m their scent match.

Because I haven’t only been lying to them, but lying to Lee also.

The idea of Lee hating me, feeling betrayed, makes me sick to my stomach. He’s been nothing but amazing to me about the whole situation with my dad and with me being an omega. Not only that, he’s lied to his pack, the men he loves, because I wasn’t ready to let them know.

And how do I repay him? By keeping secrets.

So many fucking secrets I can’t keep count. I need to come clean before this guilt eats me alive.

I’m just so fucking terrified to lose them.

How did I go from wishing they would leave me alone, disappear from my life, to the mere thought making me panic at losing them for good.

Now, I’m just getting out of one of my classes, not really sure what to do with the rest of my day. I don’t want to avoid the guys, it would be suspicious and honestly I just want to be near them.

They took the morning off school, something to do for work, so I’ve been on my own all morning.

Before, I’d have killed to have this much alone time without one of them stalking me. Now, I feel this absence I’m not fond of.

“Hey you.” I jump, heart pounding as Lee’s voice whispers in my ear. Spinning around, I turn my wide eyes on his. “Wow.” he chuckles. “What's got you all jumpy today?”

“N-nothing,” I stammer out, placing a hand on my pounding heart. “Just not feeling good.”

He nods his head. “Coming down from the suppressants?”

“Yeah,” I lie. “That must be it.” It’s not a total lie. I do feel different, more tired. But again, that could be because of the stress.

“I’ve missed you today,” he murmurs, pulling me into his arms.

I can’t help but melt into his touch, the warm feeling blanketing over me. “Sometimes, I hate my job.”

“No you don’t.” I manage to give him a genuine smile. “You love making people scream.”

“Oh, you know I do.” He wiggles his eyebrows and my cock twitches, my perfume bursting free. My eyes widen and Lee groans. “Fuck me, baby. I might not be an alpha, but your scent is so damn good. It’s got me rock fucking hard.” He rolls his hips, rubbing his erection against mine. “I think these meds have officially worn off.”

Fuck. No. Not now. I’m not ready.

“I need to use the bathroom,” I say quickly, slipping out of his arms and rushing towards the nearby bathroom.

Rushing into one of the stalls, I lock it and sit on the toilet. Putting my head in my hands, I take deep breaths while I try to think.

It’s now or never, Cam. Not that I really have a choice because the only way the guys won’t find out is if I could manage to slip away and take one of my suppressants.

I thought about it this morning, taking one while they were gone. I haven’t been left alone long enough before now to take them. River and Brooks have made sure I’ve been by their side at all times.

Even this morning, I knew they had a few of their guys on me. I might not have been able to see them, but I could feel them watching.

After a few minutes to catch my breath and my heart to calm down a bit, I open the stall door with shaking hands and go over to the sink.

Splashing cold water on my face, I will the feeling to puke away.

I’m a trembling mess, on the verge of crying. Why didn’t I just tell them when they found out I was an omega? Just get it all out in the open.

No use dwelling on things I can’t change. I need to go out there, get Lee and find the guys.

As I’m leaving the bathroom, their voices have me halting in place.

“What the hell is going on with you two?” I hear Lee ask.

“Whose scent is on you?” River asks, his voice low and dangerous.

Fuck. Oh god. No, not like this no no no!

“Scent? The fuck you talking about? The only scent I have on me is yours, my own and Camden’s.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Where is he?” Brooks asks.

“He’s in the bathroom. Why, what the fuck is going on?”

With wide eyes, I stumble back into the bathroom, willing the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

The bathroom doors slam open. River and Brooks charge in, eyes wild, nostrils flared.

“I’m sorry.” I choke out, eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry.”

Brooks’s lip curls up in a snarl, a growl rumbling from his chest and it’s not the kind that makes me weak in the knees. He charges over to me, fists my shirt and shoves me up against the mirror. “Did you know?” Brooks growls in demand.

“Of course he fucking knew.” River spits. “How the fuck couldn’t he? The meds stopped his scent. It didn’t fuck with the scent of others.” River crowds in. The two of them loom over me and I can feel the tightness in my chest forming.

I’m about to lose it to a panic attack, my breathing already coming in labored, my mind a scrambled mess. I’m crying now, fat tears rolling down my cheeks.

Knowing I’ve disappointed my Alphas, having them look at me with such anger and betrayal guts me to my core. I fucked up. Big time. I know that.

“I’m sorry,” I sob out. “I didn’t mean to lie.”

“How long have you known?” Brooks demands. “How long have you fucking known you were our scent match, our fucking omega and said nothing.” he roars in my face, making me flinch.

“Hold the fuck up.” Lee says from behind the guys. “He’s your scent match?” There's hurt in his voice mixing with the shock. I feel like someone punched me in the gut.

“How long?!” River demands.

“Since the start of the school year,” I gasp out in between sobs.

“Fuck!” Brooks roars, his fist flying towards the mirror. I flinch in on myself as the mirror shatters, glass raining down around us. “This whole fucking time!”

“I didn’t say anything because you guys wanted me gone. You hated me. I didn’t know what else to do,” I say, starting to hyperventilate.

Brooks lets me go, taking a step back and starts to pace. His hands run through his hair aggressively, grabbing at strands. “Fuck!” he shouts again.

River stands there, glaring at me with a look that cuts sharper than a knife.

“You lied,” he says, and I’ve never heard him sound so hurt before.

“I didn’t know what else to do.” I hate how broken and helpless I sound and feel right now.

“Tell the fucking truth!” he shouts in my face. “You’re ours. Our fucking omega and you just let us treat you like shit?”

“Would it have changed if you knew what we were to one another?” I ask, not believing it would have changed anything. They hated me for a reason, would me being their scent match have done anything to change that?

I know the scent match bond is a powerful thing, but it doesn’t erase the past. The fact is, my father killed their mothers. They had a reason to hate me.

“Yes!” Brooks shoots a wild look over to me. “Because we would have taken the fucking time to get to know you, to see what we’ve seen in you now, and have avoided it all!”

I shake my head, unable to believe him. He can say that, but we won’t ever know if that's true.

“You lied to me,” Lee whispers. My eyes shoot over to find him standing there, chest heaving, eyes narrowed, a face of utter betrayal.

“I’m sorry,” I say with every ounce of remorse in my body, taking a step towards him, pleading with him to believe me.

He takes a step back and a sob bubbles free.

He shakes his head. “No, you're not. You’re not fucking sorry. I lied to my pack for you!” He shouts. “I trusted and believed you. I put my relationship with my alphas on the line because I fucking care about you. Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me something so big like this?”

“I didn’t know how to. I didn’t know how to tell you your alphas were my alphas. I didn’t want you to think I was taking your alphas from you.”

“Bullshit,” he snarls. “You damn well know I am more than happy to share them with you.”

“I didn’t know that then.” I run my hands up and down my arms, feeling myself spiral. My chest is tight, it’s hard to breathe. My head pounds like a drum someone is beating as quick breaths wrack my body. “I was fucked up. I didn’t even want to live anymore, Lee. My mind wasn’t there.”

“It’s not a fucking excuse,” Lee shakes his head.

“I can’t fucking deal with this right now.” River growls, storming off.

“River!” I shout after him, feeling like a piece of my heart goes with him.

“I can’t believe you,” Brooks shakes his head. “I need to get out of here before I do something we’ll all regret.” he spits, looking me up and down like I’m gum on his shoe.

“Brooks,” I sob as he leaves.

“What have you done, Little Omega?” Lee says, shaking his head. “Who even are you?”

He turns around and leaves me too. I stand in the bathroom, alone and broken.

Full body sobs take over me as I crumble to my knees.

I’m not even sure how long I lay there, unable to hold it together.

Eventually hands grab at me and I manage to open my eyes, my heart leaping that they came back for me. Only when they land on the person picking me up in their arms, it’s not my alphas or my beta.

“I got you, Camden,” Beckham says, cradling me to his chest. “Everything will be alright.”

I curl into his chest, more tears manage to work their way out of me.

Nothing is going to be okay. My pack hates me. I fucked up. The only reason I felt like I could keep going on, keep waking up every day, is gone.

Everything goes by in a blur. I don’t remember how I get back to my dorm, just Beckham placing me in my bed.

He stays with me as I lay there numb, drifting in and out of sleep.

Jamie comes by too. But I just lay there, staring at the wall. Broken. Defeated.

I want to die. If I can’t have them, then I don’t have any reason to live.

My dad will kill me when he finds out what I am. Why not just end it sooner and not give him the satisfaction of taking my life.

“We have to go,” I hear Jamie speak. “But we’re going to be back okay? We won’t be long.”

I don’t speak or acknowledge him, my eyes now closed as I wish my body to go into a sleep and never wake up.

They leave, the door closing behind them. Once I know they’re gone, I manage to drag my heavy limbs and practically crawl my way to my nest. Once inside the closet, I curl up into the fabric I’ve stolen, the pieces of clothing that smell just like my pack. I thought I cried every tear, but prove myself wrong as a wave of sorrow hits me.

“Fuck,” I hear someone hiss. “How come you never told me it was this bad?”

Am I dreaming? Is Lee really here?

“Why the fuck would you care?” I hear Jamie hiss. “You’re the fucking reason he’s like this.”

“Fuck you!” Lee snaps. “He lied to us. I didn’t do this.”

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Jamie growls. “He kept it from you all because from the moment he came to this school, you all treated him like the enemy. Why the fuck would you think he’d feel safe enough to tell you that the two people who were his biggest tormenters were his fucking alphas.” Jamie barks.

“He had plenty of time to tell me after we put that shit behind us,” Lee shouts back.

“You can’t do shit to change the past. The fact is, he’s your omega. You know you all fucking want him. You're obsessed with him and I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if you were in love with him. I see the way you are with him. It’s not just an obsession, you care for him. The kind of emotion that would make you kill for him.”

The room is silent and for a moment I think I’ve drifted back to sleep.

“Cam,” Lee’s soft voice sounds closer this time. I’m too weak, too tired, too drained to open my eyes or speak. The familiar numbness has taken over and I don’t know if I have the strength in me to fight it.

“Fuck, Cam, baby, look at me. Speak to me.” I feel his hand on my face and my body warms. “I’m gonna talk to them okay? I’m gonna make them see. They want you. They’re going out of their minds without you, leaving a bloody trail behind them. They’re just too blinded by anger to see past it right now, but I’ll get them to see okay?”

I don’t answer him, not even sure my mouth could work right now. He presses a warm kiss to my forehead and it’s almost enough to make me snap out of it.

“Stay with him,” Lee says, his body leaving mine.

I want to cry out, tell him to come back, but my lips won't move.

“He’s experiencing rejection. And if those stubborn alphas of yours don't do something about it, the damage might not be fixable. You already know the fragileness of his mental state. Something like this could kill him.”

“Don’t you think I know that,” Lee hisses. “Am I pissed he lied, yes. But I don’t want to fucking lose him. You know what, you're right. I do love him. I love that man so fucking much it hurts. That's why it pained me to find out he lied to me. But I’m not going to let that overpower me and fuck everything else up. I’ll get my Alphas to listen, to see that he’s ours. And I know they will. I just need to speed shit up before it’s too late. Stay with him, if he gets any worse, bring him to the hospital and call me.”

“You should be here with him. He’s your omega,” Jamie insists.

“And he’s your best friend,” Lee snaps. “I’ll be fucking back.”

Part of me wants to cry that he’s gone again, but the other part of me can’t get his words out of my head. He loves me. He said he loves me.

Maybe, just maybe that's enough to keep me from letting the darkness swallow me whole for good.

But for now, I need to sleep. I couldn’t stop myself from drifting off even if I tried.