Page 14
A
s if the universe sensed my life wasn’t quite messed up enough, it decided to level up my issues without warning.
From going days without a single episode, I now experienced at least two a day with no apparent pattern.
Mom, on a rare occasion when she’d been home and not working doubles, busted me when I face-planted into my dinner after three consecutive nights of intense nightmares followed by several cold spells throughout the day. “Willahelm Marie Walker, you have to use your smartwatch to alert me when things are getting bad. You promised!”
“I thought it automatically alerted you!” I cried in my defense. She’d frowned, telling me it was probably supposed to and was malfunctioning for some reason. That didn’t stop her from listing all the ways it’d been a form of lying to not also mention my symptoms to her in person.
That’d been a fun conversation, and Mom had been hovering from that moment on anytime she was home—a hawk circling its prey.
Currently, I stared at my watch, frozen with indecision about pushing the button. I should. My skin had chilled, and my ears buzzed. My finger eased away. She’d kill me, but the dark, ever-present bags under Mom’s eyes at our last meal kept me deadlocked, battling a mental debate.
My phone vibrated.
RALPH BUCHANAN: Did you tell Ben yet?
Jumping at the distraction, I clicked the message open to reply.
ME: I’m trying. It’s not the easiest thing to do.
RALPH BUCHANAN: Easy? It’s been two days.
ME: Yes, I know.
RALPH BUCHANAN: Okay, well, you don’t want Ben to hear about this from Kolton, and school starts Friday.
RALPH BUCHANAN: Hold on. I have an idea.
My phone beeped, notifying me of a group message.
Oh.
Oh no.
What had he done?
The temptation to bury my head in the sand rose and died in the same breath. Ralph was right. If Ben discovered Kolton’s messages because Kolton told him, then it’d be a thing.
If I were smart and had taken Ralph’s advice, I would have told Ben the instant I put two and two together.
RALPH BUCHANAN: Hey, guys. I started a new chat and added Willa since Kolton already had her number anyway.
BEN: Wait…
BEN: What?
RALPH BUCHANAN: He stole her number off your phone and made her think you’d given it to him.
BEN: Oh, come on!
Ben’s text box showed dots off and on at least three times as he typed, rethought something, and started over.
BEN: Wait, Ralph, how’d you get Willa’s number?
Well, he wasn’t blowing up, so that was a good sign. Taking in a deep breath for fortification, I joined the conversation.
ME: I ran into him when Dad took us camping this weekend. We didn’t see each other much. Nick and I were setting up our tent when Ralph was leaving, but that was when he saw your and Kolton’s texts. Ben, I should have told you right then when I realized like he suggested. I’m sorry.
SPAMMER: Damn, wordsmith!
SPAMMER: Is that a record?
SPAMMER: It’s gotta be a record.
BEN: Language, Kolton!
SPAMMER: Sorry. I mean, goddamn.
UNKNOWN: Leave me out of your teenage drama.
UNKNOWN: I’m turning my phone off. My boss is getting pissed.
My cheeks heated, realizing I’d poured my heart out in front of some stranger—maybe more. I scrolled up and clicked to see how many people Ralph had added to the conversation—just the three and one unknown.
Gee, I wondered who that could be.
To verify, I returned to my solo conversation with Ralph and shot a quick verification, even as my phone continued to vibrate.
ME: Was that Hunter Armstrong?
RALPH BUCHANAN: Yeah, it was Hunter.
ME: Why?
RALPH BUCHANAN: I figured you knew all of us, so why not? We forged a bond that day in the woods ??
Unsure of how to respond, I returned to the group chat while saving Hunter’s number and editing Ralph’s contact information to just Ralph because who was I kidding? I didn’t know enough people to need surnames, though I added Hunter’s because it seemed a touch too informal to do without.
SPAMMER: Pissed?
SPAMMER: Watch it, Hunter.
SPAMMER: Ben doesn’t like that fucking language around his “princess.”
RALPH: Kolton, when was the last time someone told you you’re annoying AF? Because I feel like it’s been a minute.
SPAMMER: Tsk tsk.
SPAMMER: You’ll hurt the princess’s delicate fucking ears.
Ralph and Kolton devolved into a texting battle of insults, where Kolton attempted to use as many curse words as possible while Ralph gave back as good as he got, but with a lot fewer “word enhancers,” as Kolton called them.
In the middle of that, a phone call from Ben overtook my screen. I nearly dropped the cell in surprise, and then my thumb hesitated before swiping to answer. “Hi?”
“Hey,” he murmured. The phone continued to vibrate against my cheek as Ralph and Kolton carried on, even without our input. “Look, I’m just going to jump into it. I googled how to block people, so I could walk you through the steps. Are you ready?”
My breath rushed out in a whoosh. He wasn’t mad, but then his words registered. “Wait, what? Your friends aren’t that bad.”
“Are you kidding?” Ben’s voice climbed. “One hijacked my phone, stole your number, and if I know him—and I do—has probably been annoying you since. And Ralph? He stirred the pot by creating this group chat. What was he thinking? Kolton will poke and prod us on there nonstop. Our phone batteries will never recover.”
To punctuate the truth of his complaint, a flurry of alerts flew in. Whatever was going on in the chat, it was rapid fire.
“In all fairness, he was probably thinking he needed to kick Willa’s procrastinating self into gear,” I admitted.
Ben’s voice adopted a serious tone. “Yeah, about that… Were you worried I’d be mad at you just for texting Kolton?”
I shrugged before remembering he couldn’t see me. “Kind of.”
“Well, okay. Yeah, let’s talk about that, because I know some jealous ex didn’t screw with your head. I’m your first boyfriend, and apart from the insane hours your mom works, your parents are about the healthiest relationship I’ve seen in real life. So, what’s up?”
I flopped on my flower pillows, burrowing into the comforter for a cocoon of safety. “It’s tough. You’re you, and I’m… me.”
A couple of beats passed where nothing but the zzzt zzzt of Kolton and Ralph’s battle of wits broke the silence.
Finally, Ben said, “I’d ask you to explain, but I like to think I know you a little better these days. Willa, just because I’ve dated around and know a lot of people, it doesn’t make me better than you or mean that you aren’t worthy of dating me. That’s silly. Honestly, if you’re looking to compare, I think I am the one who doesn’t deserve you.”
I blinked. “What? Why?”
“You’re so genuine. It didn’t hit me how fake people could be until I started spending time with you and your family.”
My grip tightened on the phone. “We’re nothing special.”
“I beg to differ. Willa, you just mentioned to your dad that my truck wouldn’t start after football practice, and he showed up less than an hour later with a new battery.”
“Okay?”
“But before I called you to explain why I wouldn’t be able to have dinner with you guys, I’d called my dad to tell him what happened and had to spell it out that he’d need to come pick me up. He yelled at me for interrupting his meeting and said he’d swing by after work.”
“What? Swing by ? But… you called in the afternoon. Your dad doesn’t get off most days until after dark.”
“Exactly. Your dad dropped everything, no questions asked. I wasn’t even asking him for help.”
I shifted, biting off my initial reaction, because I knew not to step into family business. Instead, I offered a very neutral, “Well, my dad’s work schedule is a lot more flexible, and I’m sure being the chief means someone always needs your dad’s attention for something.”
“Willa, you can wrap it however you like, but it won’t change the crapshoot reality.”
“Language,” I teased.
“Ha-ha,” he deadpanned.
The wooden slats above me offered no answer.
“Yeah.” Instead of offering a rebuttal, I nudged the conversation back around. “I think I’m just worried about school.”
Ben, bless him, didn’t ask for an explanation. “Okay, I can see that, but trust me, it won’t take people long to adjust.”
Even if that were true, flashes of almost ruining things at the middle school dance trotted free from my memories. With my episodes worsening, how long would it be before I wigged out at school? It took years of becoming invisible for my reputation to neutralize.
Tell Ben . The thought echoed forcefully through my mind, but I stamped it down with prejudice.
Why would Ben stick around after finding out how broken I was?
What if telling him jogged people’s memories about the weird girl from elementary school who scared half the class when she passed out while playing with dollies?
No, keeping my secrets close to my chest was the much safer option.
“Willa?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah?”
Ben’s voice held equal amounts of amusement and relief. “I thought you’d fallen asleep on me or something. Where were you?”
A million miles from here.
I tugged the blanket closer, fighting off the encroaching chill. Pretty soon, I’d have to venture out for some food, even though I’d eaten a big lunch…
My screen lit up as I pulled it away to check the clock.
It was only one?
“Sorry, Ben, I—” I jumped. “Oh, hold on. My phone’s ringing.”
Ben mumbled something under his breath before adding, “I swear, Willa, if it’s one of the three amigos, I’ll track them down myself and wring their necks.”
I glanced at the screen. “No, it’s an unknown number. Probably spam, but I better answer this. It’s local. Sometimes Mom calls from different locations at the hospital to check on us, and we don’t always have the number saved. Talk to you later?”
“Of course. Bye.”
I had half a second before the second call connected. “Hello?”
At first, nothing happened, and then, a voice so deep that it instantly gave me chills, growled out, “He’s lying to you.”
My hands shook badly. The phone slipped free, getting lost in the blanket, and by the time I knocked off my shock and scrambled for the phone, the call had already disconnected.
What the actual heck had just happened?
I sat there in numbed disbelief and terror, though not for long.
Fear gave way to anger, and my thumbnail clacked against the screen as I redialed the unknown caller. The ringtone didn’t sound once before the eerie voice of the mechanical woman informed me the number I’d been trying to reach was unavailable and to please leave a message.
My temper cooled, and I hung up before the beep. It’d have been one thing to scold someone for their appalling behavior with a clearly wrong number, but to leave that interaction on a voicemail?
Yeah, no. They’d probably realize soon enough anyway and be embarrassed about their actions.
It was just my luck to get such an aggressive misdial. What little warmth I’d gleaned from talking to Ben receded, landing me in a bad mood.
The longer I glared at my phone, the more tempted I became to call again and leave the voicemail just because they were too cowardly to pick up.
Maybe they’d think twice before bullying whoever the message had originally been intended for.
Another text alert popped in from the thread with the boys. The preview of a string of laughing and sunglasses smiley emojis cooled my anger considerably. Whatever turn their conversation had taken, it was cracking Kolton up.
Their antics helped level my mood.
I wanted to call Ben back right away and vent the rest of my annoyance over the aggressive jerk that’d misdialed, but my body shivered.
Shaking my head, I tossed the phone aside.
Food first, then I’d call the best part of my life back.