Page 8 of Before I Should Leave

The rain came down harder, like it didn’t want to be outdone.

It beat against the windshield and roof in thick, steady rhythms.

The kind of storm that felt personal.

The kind that wrapped you up in it and made you forget there was a world beyond the inside of this car.

Diesel leaned slightly to turn on the defroster, slow and unbothered, his fingers brushing the dial like even machines listened to him.

I didn’t know how long we’d been sitting like this.

The airport sign kept flickering in and out of view ahead, but it felt miles away.

Time didn’t feel real inside that car.

Not with him.

Not with the low hum of music.

Not with the heat and tequila making my chest loose and my shoulders soft.

“You good?”

he asked again, voice quieter this time.

“Yeah, really good,”

I muttered before I could think.

He grinned at that. Not smug. Just real. Then, out of nowhere, he said.

“You ever seen The Wood?”

I blinked.

“You mean the movie?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course. Who hasn’t?”

He nodded, relaxed in his seat, one arm slung across the steering wheel like he’d told this story a dozen times.

“Yo, remember when Stacey ran up in the corner store with his boys to rob it?”

I chuckled.

“And Mike’s scared ass called out his full name like they were not in the middle of a robbery.”

“‘S-Stacey?’”

he said in that same shocked voice, mimicking the exact scene.

I was laughing now, for real.

“That part sends me every time. Like, why would you say his name out loud?”

“He was so shook,”

Diesel said, shaking his head, barely holding his laugh.

“Like, ‘Oh shit… I know this nigga.”

I laughed louder than I meant to, biting down on my lower lip to reel it back in.

“Mind you, they were in there just for Tic Tacs before the school dance, right?”

He gave a smooth shrug.

“Shoulda been in there grabbin’ condoms the way they were plottin’ on gettin’ phone numbers. Fresh breath and the strokes safe.”

I lost it.

Like, actually laughed.

Not a polite chuckle.

Not a tight-lipped smirk.

A real, warm laugh that cracked open something in my chest I didn’t know was still closed.

I put my hand over my mouth, trying to pull it back but it was too late.

It was that full-body kind of laugh that shook my shoulders and pulled a breath from deep inside.

He was laughing too, low and rich, the kind that came from the gut. He looked over at me again, something new in his eyes now. Something soft. Quietly proud.

“Damn, Emani,”

he said.

“You got a beautiful fuckin' laugh.”

I froze for half a second.

Not because of what he said, but because of how it landed.

It wasn’t flirtation.

It wasn’t game. It was an observation. A real one. He meant it. I swallowed, voice lower now.

“You keep saying stuff like that, Diesel…”

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You’re gonna make me forget I’m not supposed to like you.”

He smiled slowly.

“Maybe you’re supposed to.”

I looked out the window again, trying to gather myself.

The rain had fogged the edges of the glass, the city lights bleeding soft against the mist.

Everything outside looked blurred, but inside everything was starting to feel clearer.

My shoulders were down, and my breathing had slowed.

I hadn’t checked my email in over twenty minutes.

And I was sitting next to a man I didn’t know an hour ago, laughing about Black movie lines like we had history and tequila between us.

I turned back toward him and just said it. Quiet. Honest.

“I feel… loose.”

He glanced at me.

“Loose how?”

“I don’t know. Like… not performing. Not proving. Not calculating my next move or thinking about how I sound or what I look like while I’m doing it. Just… me.”

He nodded.

“That’s good.”

“It’s… rare.”

“Well, you got another seventeen minutes of traffic to stay in that space. Might as well ride it out.”

The way he said that? Whew.

He wasn’t just talking about the road.

He was talking about whatever this was, too.

This thing simmering between us, layered in calm and curiosity and quiet heat.

I leaned back in my seat, tucked one leg up under me, and rested my elbow on the center console, turning my body just slightly toward him.

I just shook my head and smiled.