Page 105 of Before and After

“This is for the best, Allie.”

Anger poked through my pain. “Best for who? Me or you?”

His head jerked.

“You came home from the military, and it was tough and there were challenges, and then you left your mom and sisters.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. “It was better for them.”

“No, I think it was better for you. Your job means that you don’t have to get too close to anyone, you don’t have to care. This way, you won’t lose anyone, you avoid the pain.”

His face hardened to pure stone.

“You move around, you don’t plant roots, you don’t let people in.” I took a step forward. “Until me.”

He stayed silent.

I shook my head. “You’re running away, and that’s not for my benefit.” I stared at him, willing him to talk to me.

He stayed silent.

I looked away, trying not to lose it in front of him. I’d hold myself together. I was good at that. “As soon as Ollie wakes up, we’ll get out of your way.”

Spinning, I faced the windows and wrapped my arms around my middle, trying to hold all the broken pieces together.

I waited for him to say something, anything. I wanted him to say something.

A moment later, I heard the front door open and close, and knew I was alone.

My heart felt like it was going to fall out of my chest. A tear ran down my cheek, then another.

God. I hurt so much.

There was a knock on the door, then I heard it open.

“Hello?” Tessa’s voice. “I saw Caden leaving, and he said to come in.”

Swiping at my tears, I turned. “Hey.”

“How are you and Ollie? I thought—” My friend stopped in her tracks, staring at me. “What happened?”

“What I should have known would happen. Caden pulled the plug on us.”

“No.” Tessa moved to me and threw her arms around my shoulders.

“He’s shut down and pushed me out.”

“He’ll come to his senses, Allie. Things are just a little raw after what happened last night.”

I felt cold, then hot. “I…need some air. Will you stay with Ollie?”

She nodded. “Sure.”

I slipped into the only shoes I had, the green ballet slippers that matched my Tinkerbell dress. I remembered how excited I’d been for Caden to take that stupid dress off me, for me to make love to him with those silly wings on. The pain made my lips tremble.

If I was going outside, I needed better shoes than these. I had some running shoes in my locker.

“I won’t be long.” I pressed a hand to my aching chest. “I promised Caden we’d get out of his suite once Ollie was awake.”