Page 49 of Beautifully Damned (Sinful Fates #2)
Ayla
Light always promises to come after the dark. They say the sun returns, steady and sure. But I’m not sure it shines for me—and if it does, I doubt the source is Roman Volkov.
Yes, he knelt in front of the same people who saw him break me. But that doesn’t mean I’m grateful. It doesn’t mean I feel whole again. It doesn’t even mean I feel loved.
I collapse on the bed, sobs tearing through me until my face is streaked with mascara and snot. Inside, I’m a contradiction. My chest aches for him to stay, yet my head screams for distance. I want him close and I want him gone.
The door bursts open, and Roman storms in, chest heaving.
“Why are you crying?” His brow cuts deep with frustration, but his tone is low, almost pleading.
“You just had the devil himself kneel in front of you. I gave that back. I made them watch me fall for you.” He steps closer.
“If it isn’t enough, I’ll do it again. We’ll redo the wedding.
I’ll kneel then too. Anything. Anything to show you I—”
“I want a divorce.”
His eyes flare with something I can’t name. Shock, maybe. Rage, definitely. But underneath it, fear.
Red floods his face, climbing his throat until it looks like he’ll explode. He drops his weight onto the bed. The mattress dips under him, and then he’s on me, pressing me into the sheets with the full force of his body. His breath is hot against my face.
“Don’t you ever say that again.”
“Why not?” I spit. “You already got what you wanted. You broke me. You made sure no one else would want me. Congratulations, Roman. I’m damaged goods now. No man alive would touch me after this circus. So what’s left for you? What’s left for me? Let me go.”
He shakes his head, his nose brushing mine. His eyes are bloodshot, alive with something unhinged. “I only want you.”
My body doesn’t believe him. My mind doesn’t. My heart—traitorous as always—wants to.
“I don’t want a divorce, Ayla. I’d burn the whole world to ash before I let that happen,” he roars.
“Why, Roman?”
“Because you’re the only one who ever made me feel anything other than hate.
Because when you’re not near, it’s like I can’t breathe.
Because every second you’re out of my sight, I’m half-mad with the thought that something could hurt you.
Because my body doesn’t work for anyone else anymore. It only answers to you.”
The bluntness knocks the air out of me.
“I tried. After you came into my life, I went to one of my clubs. I wanted… I don’t know, distraction. I couldn’t do it. The moment you looked at me, you ruined me for anyone else.”
A tremor runs through me. Relief, ugly and sharp. That woman in the bathroom was lying. She had to be.
“You’ve damned me, Ayla. I don’t even know if this is love. Love feels too small a word for what this is. Whatever it is, it’s worse. Stronger. I’m obsessed. I only breathe when you’re near. I only laugh when you’re with me. Whatever’s left of me belongs to you, whether you want it or not.”
Tears slip hot down my face, and I don’t bother wiping them away.
“Don’t you hear me?” he asks. “Tell me you understand.”
“I heard you.” My voice comes out dazed. I sound distant, like I’m in a trance.
“And?” His eyes search me, waiting, desperate.
This is the part where I’m supposed to confess too. To tell him I love him back, that I’m ready to forgive, to surrender. But the words don’t come.
All I manage is a whisper. “Thank you, I guess.”