Page 35 of Beautiful Nightmare

Soft words slither from my lips, words I’ve not ever spoken before yet feel so familiar as they leave me. “Seeping slowly, bodies tremble. Flickering souls, you are in trouble.” Heat radiates from me. Ican feel beads of sweat building on my skin. Raising my hands, a purple glow illuminates off my palms, and I’m startled.

“Seeping slowly, bodies tremble. Flickering souls, you are in trouble.” I repeat those two sentences, and the flames from the candles extinguish, and the salt, which once surrounded my sleeping body, rises, twisting around me and causing my gown to flutter and my hair to fan out.

Amazed, I don’t stop, only building further momentum.

I say it one final time. “Seeping slowly, bodies tremble. Flickering souls, you are in trouble.” Flashes of my youth join, moving so rapidly I am barely able to register it all. What I gather is it’s moments with my moms, as they would teach me spells and magic. It’s my memories flooding back to me. Overwhelmed, I want to scream, but I worry Prince would hear me.

I allow my body to absorb it all. “Please give me strength.” I ask shamelessly.

Then, with a final gust, the salt falls, and images fade, but my purple glow remains.

Rushing to my vanity, I bend over and take myself in. “I can’t believe it,” I whisper to myself. It’s like none of this torture ever happened if you wereto look at me. My healing process has begun. This is only the beginning, a tiny piece of what it will take, but it helps so fucking much. And then I am caught off guard because of my eyes. Leaning forward, my lashes brush against the reflective glass. My eyes aren’t dull anymore; they shine bright with renewed life.

They captivate me.

I am beautiful.

Stepping back, I know I don’t have much time, but I take myself in once more in disbelief, then I reassure myself, “It’s going to be okay. I’m ready; I can do this.”

Feeling confident on my tiptoes, I twirl toward the door and open it without a second thought, because for the first time since my moms died, I finally feel alive.

16

ROYCE

“Scream for your life and tremble for me, as tonight will be your last.”

Standing in the darkness of the staircase, I watch Prince. His demeanor is stoic as rhymes flow freely from his poisoned lips. A crystal glass swirls an amber liquid before him, both hands free. His body is slouched, leather shoes resting on the coffee table and crossed at the ankles.

“Say it with me, my sweet sister. Scream for your life…” His voice trails off before coming back with a commanding, “And tremble for me! As tonight…” Leaning forward in the high-back chair, his white eyes meet mine, his tone changes, and each word is said with both purpose and hostility. “…will be your last.”

He knows.

He knows, and he isn’t going to make this easy.

“Ah, sweet brother, your words are always so comforting,” I toy sarcastically while his eyes glare upon me. Steadily, my feet brush each step, calmly, as I make my way to him.

Unamused, Prince returns his focus to his levitating beverage, reaching for it aggressively and taking a swig.

“You appear less damaged than the last time I saw you,” Prince states the obvious, baiting me into a battle of words, and I bite, because why not?

“And you look more deranged.”

Internally, I am giddy with pride; my confidence has returned, and a renewed sense of hope and purpose flows through my body.

“Yes, killing your boyfriend would do that to a person, don’t you think?” His words sting; the pain attempts to overtake me once more, but I resist it because I am not that wounded girl anymore.

Throwing his glass against the dark wallpaper, whatever contents remain splash out as the crystal shatters upon impact.

Being brave, I inch forward onto the shag rug before I’m startled by his sudden movement. His feet hit the ground as his body rises. “I don’t need tobe a fucking mind reader to know. Your face tells me everything.” Prince takes calculated steps forward until his body towers over me, an intimidation tactic I am all too familiar with. “Plus your eyes are fucking glowing.” His head tilts, examining me, but I don’t cower. “Did your mommies come to save you?”

Ignoring him, my gaze meets his, challenging his dominance. And much to my delight, the corner of his mouth twitches in frustration.Come on, Prince, give me everything you’ve got, I am fucking ready.I challenge him wordlessly while smugly smiling back at him.

Prince tilts his head down, his white hair falling onto his forehead and the tip of his nose brushing against my forehead, while his lips whisper. “Have you ever wanted to get lost in someone so badly you’d kill for it?” His breath reeks of alcohol, and his breathing becomes heavier.

Shaking my head in response, I plainly state, “No.” Because it’s the truth.

With Beckham, it wasn’t about him being my possession or obsession or vice versa. It wasn’t about getting lost in him or seeking refuge for a few hours before returning to this hell.