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HARPER

I blink back at his advance. It wasn’t the question that took me by surprise, but rather my desire to say yes.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep. A woman like you, of course, you must be spoken for.” he said as he looked into my eyes with curiosity and something else, I didn’t understand,

“It’s not that, I just…Well, I’ve never… it’s not that I don’t…I can’t. I’m sorry.” I whispered the last part mostly to myself.

He flashed a courteous grin that brought out the dimples on either side of his lips. With a nod, he turned to walk toward the door. Talking over his shoulder not even bothering to turn around he said,

“It was a pleasure meeting you Harper, keep my card. In case you change your mind,” moments later, the doorbell chimed, and he had vanished.

I paused for a moment, simply looking out into the street, and realized it was the first time a man hadn’t triggered an anxiety attack in me. As he approached, I didn’t feel the urge to gulp down air or the heaviness that usually overpowered me. The familiar urge to run and hide from the overwhelming feeling caused by his proximity didn’t come. None of the terrible sensations that had plagued me for the past eight years overwhelmed me. It was odd, yet something was reassuring about his presence and his eyes were…

familiar.

I shook my head trying to get back to my protective mindset, trying to grab onto my mental armor and raise my guarded wall even taller. I couldn’t let it slip like that again. Who knows what could happen if I did?