Page 18

I was stunned and slightly scared when I faced Beau. The sensation of both our cum running down my thighs after I stood up alerted me to the fact we’d been so crazy for each other we’d forgotten to use a condom. While I didn’t believe Beau would be someone who ran around carrying sexually transmitted diseases or infections, it was wise to ask first. The bigger worry was the fact that condoms helped to prevent pregnancy. I hadn’t been with anyone for a while. And even when I was, I always had time to get on birth control, and I made them use condoms. Neither was the case this time. As I stared at him, he was calm, which told me he hadn’t caught on to it. I was trying to calculate in my head the number of days since the start of my last period. I moaned and put my hand over my face when I figured it out.

“Keeley, you—” he started to say, but I cut him off.

“Beau, before you say I need to calm down, you need to know. We forgot a condom. I’m not on birth control, and this is the peak time when I can get pregnant. I swear, my tests have always been negative, and I assume yours have too.”

“They are negative,” he said serenely. He took my arm and led me into the bathroom.

“I don’t think you heard me fully. I’m not on birth control. I can get pregnant. It’s the worst time for us not to have used a condom,” I said slower this time.

“I heard you the first time. I was wondering when you’d figure it out.”

“Then why aren’t you panicking and running out to the drugstore to get the morning-after pill?” I asked.

“First of all, I wouldn’t want that pill used. Second, I’m not in a panic because if you do end up pregnant, I’d welcome a baby. I can’t say I’d do that with just anyone. But since it’s you and I already wanted us to become more than casual boyfriend and girlfriend, I’m fine with it. However, if you don’t want a baby, then we need to talk. I know it’s your body and should be your choice, but a baby would be half mine.”

My mind was racing. I had to repeat what he said in my head before I could answer him. “What if I don’t want a baby? Or if this happened with someone you were only having sex with? What would you do?”

“I’d do everything in my power if it was you to see why you didn’t want a baby. Is it the timing? As for someone else, I would do whatever I had to in order to convince the woman to carry the baby until it was born, then sign over the rights to me, and she’d have nothing to do with it. Do you not want kids?”

As his words sank in, my heart settled back into a normal rhythm. My scattered thoughts became organized. “I do want children. I hadn’t thought about having them soon. We’ve just agreed to see where this goes. Adding a child on top of it would make everything harder. What if we decide we don’t want to remain together? Or one does, and the other doesn’t? Having a child is a heavy responsibility, even if both parties want one. You would really try to get the woman to carry it and then raise it yourself?”

“I absolutely would raise a child alone. As for us, I don’t see us parting. I know it’s your body, and ultimately, I can’t stop it, but if this resulted in you conceiving, I would detest the idea of you taking that pill. It seems wrong. But I understand why you did when you were raped.”

“If I took it, would you ever be able to get over it? Or would that ruin our relationship and spell doom for us?” I asked.

“I’d like to think I wouldn’t be that petty. It might upset me for a bit, and we’d have to work through it, but I already care for you so damn much, Keeley. It’s only been a short time, but I’m falling in love with you.”

I moved closer and put my arms around him. “Beau, I wouldn’t do that to you. Let me say that when I took that pill after I was raped, it wasn’t my idea. It was my dad’s. He thought it would be too much for me to handle if I had a baby from what happened. Maybe at that age, it would’ve. However, I’ve changed and grown over the years, and I don’t know if I’d do it again. Most people aren’t ready to be parents when they have at least the first one. I do think we should talk about it more before we go without condoms. However, if this time results in a child, regardless of whether we stay together, we’ll both be part of its life. Oh, and by the way, I’m already falling in love with you, too.”

“Jesus Christ, thank you,” he whispered. By then, we’d made it to the large shower. He turned on the water. As the water heated up, he pulled me close and kissed me. When he let go, I was dazed and let him lead me into the shower. It was way roomier than the one at my house.

He wouldn’t allow me to wash myself. He insisted on washing and conditioning my hair, then my body. I returned the favor. It gave us both a chance to explore. Something we hadn’t been able to do before when we got hot and bothered. I admired how physically fit he was. He was muscular and more than fit. If he had five percent body fat, I’d be amazed. It made me more self-conscious about my body than before. When I turned my back on him, he turned me back to face him. He was frowning.

“Why are you turning away from me?

“Look at you! You’re perfect. You’re muscular and have no body fat. I’m not like that. I have too much boobs, a big ass, thick thighs, and my stomach isn’t flat. I work out and am strong, but I’m nothing like you. I couldn’t starve myself to be that skinny. If you say you don’t watch what you eat and rarely work out, I may have to murder you,” I threatened.

“I do pretty much eat what I want, but I work out most days a week. You haven’t been with me to see me do it. As for what you said about your body, it’s all complete horseshit. I can’t believe you don’t see what I see. Your tits are perfect as they are. I love that they more than fill my hands.” He cupped both of them and tenderly squeezed them. My nipples immediately began to tighten. He rubbed his thumbs over them, making my nips go taut. Then he plucked at them, pulling a moan out of me.

“I love how responsive they are. I’m going to be spending a lot of time playing with them, so I don’t wish any of them away. The same goes for your ass, hips, and thighs. They give me places to hold on to as I pound into you. They make you look like a woman. I don’t want a waif who would break when I get rambunctious or can be mistaken for a guy. And I’m warning you. I’ll be rambunctious with you often. Not to say I can’t do slow and gentle, because I can. But if the way we were minutes ago doesn’t turn you off, then we’ll be that way often. Lastly, your stomach, I don’t need or want you to be hard there. I like the softness. It’s feminine and appealing. So, in actuality, your body is perfect for me. If anyone told you differently, it shows you weren’t meant for them. You’re mine,” he whispered a moment before he kissed me.

His detailed explanation of what my body meant to him and the heat I saw in his expression told me he told the truth and had turned me on. His kisses increased the flames inside of me. As he kissed me and I kissed him back, I found his cock, which was erect again. I fisted it and slowly began to stroke up and down his length. He groaned into my mouth. I tightened my hand more and went a little faster.

It wasn’t long before he tore his mouth away from mine. “Fuck, don’t stop. Shit,” he muttered. Wanting not only to make him come but to know him more intimately, I dropped to my knees.

“Baby, you don’t need to do that,” he told me.

“I know I don’t. I want to. I want to know what you feel like on my tongue and taste like when you come, Beau. Can I suck your cock?” I asked boldly.

“Of course you can. Do whatever you want. I’ll love anything you do,” he assured me.

Now, many people would assume, due to what I went through as a girl, that when it came to sex, I’d be scared of it or inhibited. I probably would’ve if it hadn’t been for John, the counselor I went to. Again, most rape victims would be hesitant to go to a counselor of the opposite sex. I found John easy to talk to once he broke the ice. I could tell him anything. He was vital in helping me understand that my rape had nothing to do with sex. Rape was about my rapist wanting power. I hadn’t done anything wrong. As time went by, John got me to see that sex didn’t have to be shameful or painful and could be very enjoyable with someone you wanted to have it with.

I was nineteen when I was ready to let a guy that close. I was never one who could just pick someone up and have sex, then walk away. They were always men I dated and had relationships with. None of them lasted. Maybe Beau was right. It was because I was meant for him. I hadn’t had a ton of relationships, but I knew how to give a blow job, and I thought I did it well. I’d see what Beau thought. His opinion was the one that mattered.

Gripping the base, I took time to explore his balls. He kept them bare. The silky texture felt soft against my fingertips. Once I mapped them with my fingers, I did it with my mouth. I licked them, then sucked one into my mouth to gently thrash it around. He moaned. Hearing that he liked it, I did the same to the other, and then I nibbled lightly on both. More moans. While I did that, I’d occasionally stroke his cock. He was long and thick. The more I worked his balls, the redder the head got, and more precum oozed from the slit.

I wanted to taste his cum, but first, I had to map his cock like I did his balls. First came the fingers, then the mouth. I loved tracing the thick vein running his length. Finally, I knew I had to stop teasing and get down to the serious stuff. I glanced up to find him avidly watching me. He appeared to be holding his breath. Winking at him, I stuck out my tongue and swirled it all around the head. His salty and slightly tangy precum hit my taste buds. I hummed in approval. I could so handle his savoriness. Suddenly, I engulfed the head and sucked. He groaned, and I felt him rise on his toes. As I worked him deep into my mouth, I didn’t neglect his sac or the part of his cock I couldn’t get inside my mouth. I teased one and pumped the other.

One thing I’d discovered with one boyfriend, who let me practice all I wanted, was that I got a thrill from deep-throating a guy and wondering if I’d be able to breathe. I’d try to swallow him as far as possible and hold his cock there for as long as I could. My ex loved it. The only complaint he had was that I wouldn’t swallow his cum. My first taste of Beau told me I’d be swallowing his. I slid off him.

“Are you alright?” he asked, huskily.

“I’m good. I want to ask you something.”

“Ask away.”

“I’d love to deep-throat you. Do you like that?”

“Do you need to ask? Of course, I like that. Anything you want.”

“Then I want you to go deep, make me take as much as I can, and then hold it there until I have to breathe. What I’m saying is I want you to control it. Make me get you off,” I said tentatively.

Some guys didn’t like that I wanted them to control our sex most of the time. I’d read enough to know I was submissive, mainly in bed. I wanted a man to be dominant. Would this turn him off? Beau was all alpha, and in our first encounter, he’d taken control, but it might be a fluke or a rarity. Opening up about my needs this fast wasn’t like me.

Sometimes, I never told the guys I was with what I ultimately desired, which undoubtedly helped with the eventual break-ups. I just knew they wouldn’t be comfortable with it. I was a dominant person in my life and work. In the bedroom, I wanted to let someone else be in control. I had to concentrate not to bite my lip as I waited for his answer. He reached over and turned off the water. Both of us were clean. He held out his hand to me, which I took, and he tugged on it, so I rose. Unease filled me.

“Beau, if you don’t like that—” I was halted by him placing a finger over my lips.

“I think this requires us to talk, which will be more comfortable on the bed. Come on.”

He opened the door. In no time, we were dried. After running a brush through my hair, I swept it up, without drying it, in a scrunchie to get it out of the way. At the bed, he gestured for me to sit against the headboard. I did, and then Beau did the same. His hand cradled one of mine. He was staring intently at me. Enough that I wanted to squirm. Why did I have to ask him that?

“Stop being so anxious. I can feel it vibrating through you. There’s nothing to be worried about. Your question in the shower reminded me that there were a lot of things we didn’t talk about before we had sex. I know it wasn’t planned, but we need to. Besides protection, we need to talk about what each of us likes, dislikes, or is willing to do or try. We need to know each other’s limits.

“For example, you might’ve guessed, or maybe not, that I like to take command. That doesn’t mean you have no say or control over what we do when it comes to sex. You do. But I still want to be the one who directs our sex life, if that makes sense. Not all women like that. We have to see where we can meet and what can be negotiated.”

“Beau, are you a Dom? Is that what you’re telling me?”

My heart raced at the thought. I’d read about Doms and always wondered what it would be like to be with one. None of my past boyfriends fit that description. A few had some dominant tendencies, but not enough.

“Tell me what you know about Doms and subs,” he demanded, not asked. My nipples, which had softened, hardened at the command in his tone.

“A Dom is someone who cares, protects, loves, and guides another. As a result of those being given, a sub who receives all those things then gifts to the Dom their submission and meets the Dom’s needs.”

“Yes, but it’s much more. I discovered long ago that I’m a protector, a leader, and a caretaker. I need to be a listener and communicator. As a result, if I do those right, I earn things in return. I do it professionally, but I found I craved it in my sex life. I yearned to earn those gifts, as you call them. Once I understood that, I tried to find a relationship that would fit that.

“I should’ve discussed this with you before we agreed to anything. I broke my own rules. I’m sorry. Please, don’t think you have to say yes to what I’m asking. If this truly doesn’t appeal to you, we’ll find compromises. I don’t want to lose you. While I loved what we did in this bed earlier, I broke a cardinal rule. I didn’t put your needs before mine. I’m responsible for your happiness and satisfaction. I have to understand your needs so I can fulfill them.”

“Beau, I need to stop you right there before you say anything else. I don’t want you beating yourself up, thinking you did something terrible. What we did was amazing. I loved how you took command. And there is no way you can think that you didn’t meet my needs. I had the most intense orgasm of my life, and it was from penetration. Something I thought was impossible for me. You more than gave me satisfaction. Okay, I want to hear more. Tell me what my responsibilities are to you as a sub.”

He didn’t answer right away. He was studying me. I let him see my sincerity, and some of the tension in his shoulders eased. “You have a lot of power as a sub. Don’t think it’s all mine because it’s not. You have to be strong and committed to be submissive. You have to identify my needs and be able to meet them. We have to be open, vulnerable, honest, respectful, truthful, not take ourselves too seriously, and be willing to fail. That’s a lot to ask of another, but if we can do those things for each other, our relationship will be golden. I’ve searched for that but never found it. I believe it’s because I was waiting for you. Does any of that sound like things you might be willing to do?”

I answered him by throwing myself on his chest and grasping his face, bringing it down to mine so I could kiss him. I made sure he felt my passion and willingness before I let go. His eyes were shining.

“I want that, too. I’ve known I’m submissive in the bedroom for a long time. I learned that about myself, but I’ve never been able to explore it fully. Not to bring up past relationships much, but only a few guys had a bit of that in them. I’ve read a lot but haven’t put it into practice. What I asked for in the shower, did you find it acceptable? Should I not have asked?”

“Baby, you can always ask. I don’t do the hardcore D/s scene. I don’t mete out punishments or that sort of thing. I think between us, we explore what it means to our relationship. In fact, it might be wise to sit down later and write them out. But that can wait. There’s something we need to do first.”

When he paused, I had to ask, “What?”

“Will you be my submissive in our sex life? And promise to be truthful with me as we explore and define what it means?”

“I absolutely do,” I said excitedly.

“Good. And I vow to be your dominant in our sex life, to explore and define what our relationship is, and always be truthful. Now, why don’t you show me how deep you can take me and how long you can go without breathing? I promise, if you can get me off, I’ll more than reward you.” His sexy eye gleam was very apparent. The growl in his voice told me the idea turned him on.

“Tell me how you want me to do it.”

“I’ll position you,” he said.

He got off the bed and came to my side, where he moved me so I was horizontal on the mattress with my head hanging over the side. When he stood by my head, it put him close so I could give him a blow job. His cock was hard. I guess our talk had kept him excited. I started over, making oral love to his lovely cock. By the time I swallowed that cock for the first time, he was dripping precum.

Beau used his hands to guide my head, and I soon discovered how he liked me to do it. He made me gag, which I didn’t mind. I’d swallow and kept trying to swallow him deeper. He’d hold it there until I’d tap his leg to indicate I needed air. I pushed myself to go longer each time. By the time he was ready to come, I was dripping wet. Giving him head made me super excited.

“I’m about to blow. Are you swallowing, or do I get to cover those beautiful tits?” he asked hoarsely.

I refused to let go to answer, so I sucked him harder and then swallowed as I gently squeezed his balls. He thrust his cock further down my throat. As I tried to swallow him, he roared like a lion as he pumped my throat full of his cum. I hummed in pleasure. He groaned and stayed there until I had no choice but to tap out. By then, he was done coming. He eased out. I lapped at him to be sure I got him clean.

Suddenly, he was on the bed, moving me around to where he wanted me. I yelped in surprise. He pushed my legs apart, and his face was buried between my legs. I guess he was rewarding me like he promised. It took less than a minute for me to know he knew what he was doing, and I’d come in no time.

???

I was still feeling the effects of our lovemaking the next day. After Beau had eaten my pussy and made me cry his name twice, we rested and then had sex again. Since we hadn’t fully resolved the baby question, he’d used a condom. He didn’t make a big deal out of it, but I hated it. I couldn’t feel him as much.

I was leaning toward not worrying about it, which was why I decided to use one of the lesser prevention methods, but it would let us fully feel each other. I asked him to take me to the drugstore. He’d been concerned that I was sick, but I told him I had forgotten some things at home. While he went to get a few items he needed, I got the essential item I came for. I’d show it to him later and see what he said. It was almost as effective as the condoms we were using. I looked it up online, and they could still allow one to get pregnant as much as nearly twenty percent of the time. The longer I was with him, the more I thought he and I had a real chance of making this work. It was nuts if you thought about how long we’d known each other. I couldn’t explain it, so I stopped trying.

After we left the drugstore, we went to have lunch at one of his favorite spots. From there, he took me on a ride through Hampton so I could see where he lived. There were no mountains, but the ocean was gorgeous. I was so drawn to it that he stopped, and we spent a long time walking the beach, enjoying the sound of the water and the smell of the ocean.

Since we had a late lunch, we decided to go home and see what we might want for dinner later. It was a lazy day. I knew tomorrow would be busier because we’d be at the Dark Patriots headquarters. It was the beginning of the work week, and I was curious to see what the company and headquarters were like.

When we got back home, my good mood flew out the window. We’d barely vacated the car and were about to go inside when a voice calling his name made us both sigh and cringe.

“Oh, Beau, I’m so glad you’re home and I caught you. I’m in need of your help. Could you help me with a couple of heavy boxes? I need a strong man to lift them for me,” Constance cooed as she stood at the open garage door. I was tempted to close it on her, but I didn’t. She was eating him up with her gaze and ignoring me.

She had to acknowledge me when Beau turned to me. “Babe, it should only take a few minutes. Come with me,” he said.

There was no way he wanted to be alone with her. I think he was starting to see what I saw. She wanted him. Why she didn’t make a move before this, I don’t know, but it was too late. He was mine.

“Sure thing, honey. We have a couple of minutes, Constance. Then, Beau and I have plans.” I smiled at him. I caught her flash of irritation that I was interfering with whatever she had planned, but it was too bad.

“Oh, Keeley, sorry. I forgot you were staying for a couple of days. I won’t keep him for long. I’ll send him back once I’m done with him.”

I wanted to punch her in the face. She was careful when speaking in innuendos, but I was adept at reading the hidden meaning. It was a skill most women had. “Actually, who knows how long I’ll be here. I’ll come with him. That way, if he needs help, I can assist. We wouldn’t want to mess up your pretty manicure.”

I had no idea if she’d been somewhere or if she got herself all dolled up just for this moment when she lured him into her house under false pretenses. I pictured her waiting at the window for Beau to come home so she could pounce on him. It made more sense after he told me he never brought women to his place. She hadn’t felt threatened until she saw me.

She was unhappy, but short of telling me I couldn’t come, she had no choice but to let us both come over. When we walked in, I saw she was one of those froufrou decorators. It was an explosion of flowers everywhere and more pastels than I could stand. I wanted to gag. No man would be comfortable in a home like this. Hell, I wouldn’t be able to stand it long.

She ended up wanting three boxes moved. It was laughable that she couldn’t carry them from her house to the garage where she stored them. Just to prove a point, I carried one of them by myself. When we were done, she tried to delay our return to his place.

“At least I owe you a drink for coming over and doing that for me. I have your favorite beer, Beau.” She paused, glanced at me, and added, “And I have water or wine if you’d like something.”

“No thanks, Constance. It wasn’t a big deal. We have to go. Have a good evening,” he said.

“Oh, I meant to ask. When are you leaving again? I want to know so I can pick up your mail and take care of things,” she said coyly to him.

“I have no idea. Probably soon. Keeley and I have to wait on some things first, and then we’ll be returning to Montana.” He smiled lovingly at me. I swore I heard her teeth grinding in frustration.

Constance walked us to his side, which irritated me. We got the bags that we had left behind and said goodnight. She stood outside the garage door until it was closed. How do I know she did? Because I watched. Walking inside, I shook my head.

“She’s a nut job, Beau.”

“I swear, I had no idea she liked me as more than a friend. She’s never been this blatant.”

“She wasn’t worried before because you never bring women home.”

“It’s true. Well, whatever the cause, she needs to back off. I think I’ll have someone else get my mail when I go out of town. Hell, maybe I’ll have the hold put on at the post office. I hate to do it every time, but I can.”

“Let’s see. I think you can schedule online now, so it’s not as much of a pain to do it.”

“Look at you. Already arranging my shit to make it better,” he teased. I pinched his side, which earned me a swat to the ass and a remarkably satisfying kiss.