Page 35 of Be Our Ghost (The Duchess Hotel #2)

Twenty-Five

Knox woke on Sunday with a killer headache.

As he sat up in bed, exhaustion crested over him like a wave.

He grabbed his phone, hoping no one had texted him during the wee hours of the night.

Right now, he couldn’t deal with anyone—not even Charlie.

Fortunately, his phone didn’t display any notifications.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d sunk to this level of misery.

Oh, wait. He could. Five years ago, he’d gone through this exact scenario when he’d woken at Logan’s place, the morning after Lila dumped him. At least this time, he’d resisted the urge to drown his sorrows in booze. Nothing worse than battling a hangover and a mountain of regret.

And right now, he was deeply regretting last night’s fiasco.

Given that he’d abandoned his station two hours early, he probably wouldn’t get paid.

Despite his joy at seeing Zack and Norah again, the night had ended on such a sour note that he hadn’t gotten the closure he’d hoped for.

If anything, his argument with Charlie had made him feel even more pathetic about the way he’d fled from Vancouver with his tail between his legs.

Worse yet, he’d taken out his anger on her. Though she should have eased up last night, he could have told her—gently—that he was done talking about The Hidden Forest until he was emotionally ready to discuss it. Instead, he’d struck her where she was most vulnerable.

He wanted to call her and apologize for his behavior.

To tell her how much she meant to him. But before he talked to her, he needed to figure out his own shit.

Even if she’d pushed him to the breaking point, she’d been right.

He’d never be able to put his past behind him if he didn’t tell his side of the story.

To do so, he’d have to step out of the shadows and expose himself.

The backlash could be terrible, but it was better than letting the resentment fester inside him.

Clearly, he wasn’t going to be able to fall back asleep. He took a quick shower and made a pot of coffee. As he was downing his second cup, his phone buzzed with a text.

He read the message twice, unsure if he was being punked.

Lila: Knox, it’s Lila. Any chance you’re free this morning? I’d like to get together.

How the fuck had she known how to reach him? After leaving Vancouver, he’d erased all traces of Mac Iverson, including his phone number. He’d only shared the new one with the few people he could still trust, like Logan.

Knox: How’d you get this number?

Lila: I tracked down the woman running the gala and asked for it. BTW, she was pissed at you.

Knox couldn’t help but chuckle at her honesty. I’m pretty sure her boss would like my head on a platter. He should be thankful I wasn’t publicly arrested.

Lila: True. It wouldn’t have been a good look. Anyway, can you meet with me?

Knox: Sure. But only you. No Evan.

Lila: He’s still asleep. Let’s meet in the gazebo outside the Grand Duke. 30 minutes?

Knox: I’ll see you there.

The timing was tight, but if he hurried, he could make it.

He drove downtown, parked his truck in a public lot, and dashed over to the Grand Duke, wincing as the wind off the ocean buffeted him in the face.

Last night’s rain had given way to a sunny, chilly morning, the blue sky overhead dotted with fluffy white clouds.

The wooden gazebo sat amid a neatly manicured garden off to one side of the hotel.

Lila was already seated on one of the benches, bundled in a black woolen coat and wearing sunglasses, black gloves, and a fur hat.

Knox was about to suggest they take their conversation somewhere warmer, like Alma’s Beanery, but she was probably trying to avoid being recognized.

As he sat beside her, he caught a whiff of her signature scent. A light, floral fragrance with a hint of jasmine, the same one she’d worn when they were together. Despite his unease at meeting with her, the familiarity made him smile. “Good morning, Lila.”

“Hi, Knox. Thanks for coming.” Her voice was as soft and melodious as ever, all the rough edges smoothed out.

He still wasn’t sure why she’d asked to meet him, but he wanted to get his apology out of the way. “I’m sorry about last night. I wasn’t trying to sabotage anything. I just wanted to…”

To what? Torment himself? Make things worse? He’d succeeded on both counts.

She placed her hand on his thigh. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who should be sorry. Not just for last night, but for all of it.”

He froze, so taken aback he couldn’t form a response. Back when he’d blown up at her and Evan, she’d apologized profusely, explaining how she’d never intended to hurt him. But Evan hadn’t reacted the same way. Not once had that fucker ever said he was sorry.

“Knox?” she asked. “Please say something.”

“You don’t have to apologize. It all happened a long time ago.

But…” Knox paused, trying to figure out how to justify his actions.

“My coming to the gala wasn’t about revenge.

I wanted to be a part of The Hidden Forest one last time.

When I left, I never got to say goodbye.

Not to anyone, including the writers I’d worked with.

Evan wanted me gone, so I left it all behind. ”

“I wish he hadn’t been so insistent on that, but he didn’t trust you.

After you were promoted to executive story editor, he started getting paranoid that you’d get him kicked off the show and take all the credit for creating it.

That’s why he struck first. After you left, everyone kept asking when you were coming back.

The only way for Evan to get the upper hand was to discredit you by making up that shit about you being an alcoholic. ”

He let her words sink in, reliving the agony as if it were only yesterday. “For what it’s worth, I never would have kicked him out. Did I get annoyed when he didn’t pull his weight? Sure, but I wouldn’t have ousted him from his own show and then done my best to slander him.”

The guilt on Lila’s face spoke volumes. Like she’d realized—even then—how underhanded Evan had been. “After you left, I tried to find you, but you’d disappeared. I wanted to warn you I’d said some hurtful things in the interviews I’d given. I didn’t mean them.”

For so long, he’d hoped to hear those words. To know that his impulsive fit of temper hadn’t distorted all her memories of him. He just wished she’d told him sooner. “Some of those articles were brutal, but I get it. You didn’t want to look like the villain.”

An elderly couple walked toward the gazebo, and Lila put her head down, as if shielding her appearance.

When she spoke again, her voice was so soft he could barely hear her.

“It’s so much harder for women in this industry.

Evan said if I didn’t paint you as the bad guy, my reputation would suffer.

I’d be called a slut or a cheating bitch.

He told me the best way to spin the story, and I stuck with it. ”

A few of those interviews had dug deep into Knox’s soul, making him question himself. After a while, he’d stopped reading anything about The Hidden Forest.

“Knox?”

“Sorry. I’d rather not remember that phase of my life.

I appreciate the apology, though.” He waited until the couple had passed the gazebo before speaking again.

“Can I ask you one thing? Did you truly not feel any passion for me?” For years, that confession had hurt him more than almost anything.

“Or was that what Evan coached you to say?”

She looked up at him, her ocean-blue eyes misted over with tears. “It was the truth. But that didn’t diminish my affection for you. When we were first together, I needed someone to protect me and make me feel cherished, and you took such good care of me. But it wasn’t true passion.”

Her words hit him like a gut punch, swift and brutal. Would anyone ever feel that way about him? Or was he doomed to take care of women who’d move on once they found someone who offered them more?

She gave him a slight smile. “But Knox? That woman you were with last night? The one who stood up for you? She sounded very passionate.”

That made him feel even worse. “Yeah, well, I fucked that up, too. After we left the Grand Duke, we got into an argument, and I drove her away.”

He’d been such an idiot. Why had he turned on Charlie like that?

“You might be able to get her back. She knows about your past, doesn’t she?”

“She’s one of the only people I’ve told since I moved here. Other than my family.” He braced his hands against the bench, knowing he needed to take the next step. “But I’m sick of keeping it hidden.”

Charlie had been right in that aspect. He would never put old ghosts to rest until he came to terms with his past.

“Honestly, I can’t believe you never spoke up,” Lila said.

“Believe me, I thought about it. But after reading those interviews you and Evan gave—and then making the mistake of scrolling through the comments—I backed off. I also figured the truth might harm your reputation.” Not that he’d owed her anything. But he’d never wanted to hurt her.

“It might have, but it won’t matter as much now. Five years ago, I was still finding my footing. I’ve come a long way since then. If there’s a little backlash, so be it. I’m tired of being Princess Elodie. I’ve agreed to do a couple of episodes next season, and then I’m bowing out.”

Of all the things he’d learned this morning, this was the most startling. Lila Winstead was Princess Elodie. Though her star had risen steadily over the past eight years, she wasn’t known for much else. “I thought you loved the show.”

“I loved it when I first started and for five years after that. But over the last few years, I’ve done a few indie projects when we were on hiatus and realized I want more from my career.

My agent sent me a few screenplays that look promising, and I’m ready for the next step.

All of a sudden, I feel like the world is wide open. ”

She spoke with such passion that he remembered how much he’d admired her, back when she’d shared her dreams with him. “That’s great. What does Evan think?”

She grimaced. “He’s not happy. We spent months fighting about it. The Hidden Forest is his golden goose. It’s all he’s ever worked on, and he’s not ready to let it go.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “We’re getting a divorce. We decided to keep it quiet until after the gala.”

No matter what she’d done to him, Knox hated seeing her in pain. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s for the best.” She gave a short laugh.

“I can’t believe I ever accused you of being controlling, when all along, Evan’s the one who’s insisted on controlling my career.

I’m tired of it. So…this is just to say, if you want to write a piece exposing him for the backstabbing rat that he is, you have my blessing.

I’ll back you up, even if it tarnishes my image. I don’t owe him anything now.”

Knox swallowed, stunned at her admission.

He’d never imagined she’d be willing to go to bat for him.

But he also didn’t want his confession to help fuel her personal vendetta.

“Just so we’re clear—this isn’t me getting back at Evan.

It’s me reclaiming the narrative for myself. But I could use the support.”

“I owe you so much more than that. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

He tried to think of what he could ask her, but nothing came to mind. After all these years, he couldn’t conceive of returning to The Hidden Forest , even if he was invited back. Nor could he imagine pursuing Lila again. He was in love with someone else.

“I’m good. Just…take care of yourself, okay? I can’t wait to see what happens with your career.” He meant it, too. He’d never wanted anything but the best for her.

“Thanks, Knox.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek, her lips chilly on his skin. She stood up. “Good luck with the story. And with your girlfriend.”

He watched her leave but didn’t get up to follow.

By now, the chill was seeping into his bones, and he was desperate for a warm beverage, but he needed a few minutes to ponder over everything Lila had told him.

At most, he’d come prepared to ask for her forgiveness.

But instead, she was the one who’d apologized.

While her confession didn’t erase the torment he’d suffered, it had eased his conscience.

Even though he’d been wrong to confront her and Evan in anger, that one incident didn’t define him.

And now, if she was willing to back up his claims, there was nothing standing in his way. It was time for him to bring his story into the light.

He pulled out his phone, intending to call Charlie and share his news, but after staring at it for a few minutes, he held off.

After their heated exchange, a little cooling-off period might be best. Besides, if he was going to dig deep into his past and bare his soul to the world, he needed to focus.

Right now, the words were piling up in his head, ideas of what he wanted to say and how he wanted to frame it.

He needed to make his story resonate without coming across as bitter and vindictive.

And he needed to ensure it got the maximum amount of exposure.

He pulled out his phone and called Logan. When he got his friend’s voicemail, he left a message. “Hey, man, it’s Knox. I know you’re coming to Victoria in a couple of days, but I need to talk to you as soon as possible. It’s about an article I’m planning to write.”