Page 34 of Baker (Bastian Brothers #1)

I visited for a bit, then rode on to check on the cattle.

On my way back, I would stop and work on installing the new windows until dark.

Then I’d go home, eat, watch some family-type movie, and collapse into bed exhausted.

Hopefully sleep would be instant. As I slowly rode up to the redbud clump, I felt a lurch in my chest as I gazed on the space where Hanley’s tent had rested.

I missed him terribly. His extension of his time in Canada spoke volumes, even when he had been texting me every third day or so.

He was happy being that carefree wanderer.

If he weren’t, he’d have come back to Oklahoma a week ago.

I didn’t have to ask if he was feeling hemmed in. It was obvious to me.

It had been foolish of me to open my heart to him so quickly. Even though we both were scarred from past mistakes, we’d let ourselves leap headfirst in the raging waters. Now I had a lungful of remorse and hurt to cough up.

I turned my horse around, unable to really cope with the memories this cluster of brushy trees stirred up.

Better to keep myself busy at the ranch and hope like hell the fireworks over Lake Brewster in Lowing County were spectacular tomorrow night.

They’d have to be to keep me from spending the night curled around a bottle.

The urge was strong. Real strong. When I got home tonight, I’d call my sponsor.

I’d be damned if one foolish romance was going to wipe out years of sobriety.

Fuck that. So yeah, work hard, sleep like the dead, and one foot in front of the other.

Recoil from the temptation as if it were a flame I’d heard more than once in meetings.

Seemed I was already burned but not engulfed.

Perhaps that singe was needed. Maybe I’d gotten complacent and those blisters would serve to remind me of why I’d vowed to never drink or give my heart to anyone else ever again.

***

“If you don’t turn that machine off, you’re going to get blisters on your pedal toes,” I called into the sewing room the following night.

Bella glanced up from the overused Singer, her platinum hair falling out of her bun, to gaze at me as if I had just informed her that satin was silly.

“We’re all ready to head to the lake for the fireworks. ”

“Oh.” She wet her lips. Lips void of any coloration or gloss. “You guys go ahead. I have a week before the grand opening of my shop and I have to get some stock ready in case the ladies need a wider variety of sizes.”

“Bella,” I said as I made my way to her, sitting bowed over Granny’s old machine.

“You can’t work all day and all night.” I kneeled down beside her as Dahn could be heard thundering about from room to room, asking a thousand questions about the lake, the fireworks, and if there were other kids at the celebration. “You need to take some downtime.”

“Pot meet kettle,” she softly replied and rubbed at her jade eyes with the tips of her fingers. Fingers that had sewn dozens of frocks this week.

“Right, well, yeah,” I agreed as I dropped to one knee. “But I’m working myself into a coma for other reasons. And, you’ll notice, I am going to the lake to watch pretty explosions in the sky and eat overpriced hot dogs that the ladies’ auxiliary will be selling. Come with us.”

She smiled then bit her bottom lip, her usually bright eyes showing her fatigue and worry. “I’m not sure the good people of Bastian Grange will appreciate—”

“You showing up looking like a movie star? Probably not, but once the ladies see you in one of your pretty creations, they’ll be forming a line to get into the boutique for the grand opening next Saturday.

” I gathered her hand and gave it a pat.

“And if anyone gets out of line, Linc will chew them up and spit them into the lake like a fishbone.”

That made her giggle softly. “He is a rather protective bear.”

“Only with you,” I teased and saw her blush.

It was pretty obvious to everyone on the ranch that Linc was enamored with Bella Dee.

He was too shy to make a move and Bella seemed reluctant to invite any sort of courtship.

They seemed like they would be a good match.

But then again, I thought Hanley and I were really well-suited but he was still up north and seemed quite happy to be there, so what did I know about romance?

“Come with us. I promise I’ll come to the boutique tomorrow morning early and help hang those curtains Granny made for the shop. ”

“Well, if you promise to hang curtains, then I’ll come.” She rolled her bowed shoulders back, then tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Give me ten minutes to freshen up.”

***

As we had all learned—with the exception of Ford who already had known this I was sure—ten minutes in Bella-speak meant forty minutes minimum in everyone else speak.

Tonight it was a mere fifty minutes, and that was well spent because she drifted down the stairs in a shimmery pink summer dress with little white sandals on her feet.

I snuck a peek at Lincoln, who was, and this was literally the truth, standing at the bottom of the stairs with his mouth open.

“Catching flies?” I asked in a soft whisper and reached over to chuck Linc’s bearded chin.

He shook off his stupid look. Ford took her hand and tucked it into the crook of his arm.

Poor Linc looked crestfallen. The urge to boot him in his ass was strong, but I was the very last person who should be handing out relationship advice, or kicks in the asses.

Trust me, I was kicking my own ass steadily.

Dodge helped Granny get her favorite green sweater on and then escorted her to his brand new used extended cab pickup.

I suspected buying a used vehicle had been a first for the well-to-do dentist, but he seemed pleased enough with it.

We’d needed another truck and Ollie’s cousin had given him a hell of a deal, so all had worked out.

Linc climbed in with me, putting some distance between himself and Bella, who was riding with Dodge, Ford, Granny, and Dahn, I suspected.

“Lonely hearts club,” I muttered and got a sullen grunt from the big man at my right.

“You know if you just said something to her…” I rolled my hand in a circle while we waited for the truck behind us to get everyone settled and buckled up.

He stared straight ahead as if searching the twilight sky for answers.

I felt bad for the guy. Sure, I felt bad for me too.

Unrequited love was the pits. Guess me and my brother were more alike than I had suspected.

I’d been seeing traits that I thought were solely Baker characteristics appearing in my brothers the longer we lived together.

Like how Ford chewed his lip while concentrating, or Dodge fiddled with his fingers when he was nervous, or how Linc tended to tug on the thick hoop in his ear when he was deep in thought.

Not sure if those were attributes from Cash or not.

Probably. Hopefully, we only inherited that bastard’s harmless quirks.

“She’s not really ready for that sort of thing. Not sure I am either. I’m here to learn to avoid stress and anxiety.”

“And caring for someone is stressful?”

He threw a sharp look my way. “Have you seen the strain you’ve been wearing on your head like a sombrero since Hanley left?”

Fuck. Okay, he sort of had me there. Caring hurt.

I’d known that and still I’d tumbled, so I couldn’t rightfully preach to this man when I had blown yet another relationship to bits.

I was pretty sure it was over. I’d not heard a word in three days.

Nothing. Zip. Zero. Not even a picture of a moose or an eagle or any of the other amazing wild things he’d been capturing with his damn camera so damn far away.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I’d taken that as a sign he had moved on and was ghosting me.

“Point made,” I said. “Bella ain’t Hanley.

That’s all I’m saying about it.” With that, I cranked the engine over and began fiddling with the radio.

Seemed Bella had forgotten something, for she was now sprinting for the house.

Linc’s brown eyes followed her inside, and he instantly started rolling his ear piercing between his fingers.

“My last therapist advised me not to get into a new relationship until I was more solid in myself.”

“Oh, huh. Well, sure, I get that from an addict’s point of view. We’re told the same thing when we’re starting out on our journey to sobriety, but there comes a point when having someone in your corner makes that hard work a little easier.”

“Pot meet kettle,” he mumbled.

I chuckled. His sight left the front porch to land on me.

“Bella said the same thing to me like an hour ago. Fine, I get it. I’m the last man to take advice from on this subject, but just bear in mind that she is a good soul.

Kind, generous, and loving. And who the hell doesn’t need someone like that in their corner when they’re trying to fix themselves? ”

He said nothing in reply, just turned his head to find Bella skipping out of the house with a tiny shawl to cover her bare shoulders. She waved at us before disappearing into Dodge’s new Silverado.

I played with the radio until I found something that was not sad songs about loves gone wrong, which eliminated 90 percent of country music.

Instead, I found the lone classic rock station, and we made our way to the lake as the DJ spun the entire Eagles Greatest Hits album.

As “Heartache Tonight” filled the cab, I felt kind of called out for my earlier comment about sad songs, but at least this one had a catchy beat and no mention of beer.