Page 28 of Bad Boy Husband

JAMESON

Sadie sat in a robe at my kitchen counter, her wet hair brushed back out of her face and her cheeks still pale even after a shower. She was looking at me, but she didn’t really seem eager to hear my explanation.

I didn’t blame her. The past had come back to bite me tonight and it had bitten hard. It hadn’t even just bitten me actually. It had chewed my damn ass off.

Now it was time to face the music, and unfortunately, she wasn’t going to like a lot of what I was about to say. That didn’t change the fact that I had to say it, though.

The coffee machine sputtered to a stop. Then it hissed one last time and I turned to hand over her mug. She nodded her thanks, still not having said a word other than to agree to meet me back here after we’d both grabbed a shower.

“Back during our high school years, I was a major player and I was unapologetic about it,” I started, leaving my own coffee in the slot for now.

My stomach was flipping too often for me to ingest anything.

“I won’t deny that. I also wouldn’t say I was notoriously proud, though.

This is going to make me sound like an asshole, but to me, it was more a matter of teenage hormones and opportunity. ”

“You’re right. That does make you sound like an asshole.”

A grin ghosted across my lips, but I nodded. “The thing is, I didn’t make anyone any promises. I realize that makes me sound like an even bigger asshole, but it’s true. Before I so much as fooled around with a girl, I always made sure they knew I wasn’t looking for anything serious.”

Sadie’s eyes narrowed a fraction, but she didn’t interrupt.

“By the beginning of that summer, I was kind of over it, so yeah, I told Trent I thought I was ready for a relationship. Shelby was part of that huge group of his that always hung out together. I’d met her before and we’d always gotten along well.

While I was in Dallas that summer before, she told me to come to her when I was finally ready to, and I quote, ‘stop sticking my dick in everything that moved.’”

“Charming, but let me guess, you went to her?” Sadie scoffed. “Gee, you’re such a romantic.”

I inhaled a breath deep enough that my shoulders rose with it.

“Look, I know what all of this sounds like, okay? There’s a reason I’ve never actually spoken about it.

I survived my big, loud family by being a little more reserved and keeping my personal life a little more of a mystery, but this?

I wouldn’t have told them any of it even if I was the loudest of them all. ”

She held my gaze. “You’re right to be ashamed about it. I still don’t really get why you hide the vacuums, but seriously, Jameson. Sticking your dick in everything that moved ?”

“That was an overstatement. The point is that Shelby and I started seeing each other, but I never cheated on her. I called it off weeks before you and I ever started everything.”

“If that’s true, then why would Trent accuse you of cheating?”

I threw my arms out to my sides. “He walked into that room ready to accuse me of anything he could. Besides, I honestly don’t know what Shelby told him. For all I know, she really did think that I’d met someone else.”

“Because you did.”

“No, Sadie. I didn’t. I’d known you for a long time by then and you know what? It was you I wanted. Always you. Trent was just in the way.”

The color had returned to her cheeks, but I doubted that was a good thing. Her eyes were blazing, her face flushed with anger. “When we got together, Trent was still in the way. In fact, in case you missed it, that hasn’t changed. He’s no less in our way now than he was then.”

“Yeah, but eventually, I realized it wasn’t fair to Shelby to keep seeing her when I couldn’t stop thinking about you , so I broke it off, finally said fuck it , and went for what I wanted. You.”

Her eyes widened. She stood up, setting her coffee down to stand next to the counter.

I could only assume she hadn’t wanted to keep looking up at me.

“Except you didn’t really say fuck it , did you?

A couple months later, as soon as Trent started getting suspicious, you broke it off with me anyway. ”

“That’s not the whole truth.” I was breathing hard, looking into those blazing eyes and feeling my grip on my control starting to slip again.

“Shit, Sadie. I was ready to throw it all away for you. I was so deeply in love with you that I wouldn’t have given a shit about Trent if I thought you felt the same way.

I just didn’t want to wreck your relationship with your brother if you were simply chasing a summer of rebellion with his best friend. ”

“Excuse me?” She scoffed. “How am I suddenly the bad guy here?”

“You’re not.” I shoved both hands into my hair, elbows out.

I paced around, just needing a minute to calm down.

My voice was quiet when I spoke again but no less intense.

“I’m the bad guy, Sades. We’ve established that.

All I’m saying is that you and Trent were closer back then than you are now.

You were facing a bunch of huge choices, you hadn’t even decided what you were going to do with your life yet, and you had a whole lot of pressure on you to conform to what your family wanted. ”

“So?”

“So I figured I was doing you a favor when I left.” I spun around again, my gaze hooking firmly on hers. “After all that time keeping my distance, I finally had you. Do you really think I wanted to give you up? Because I assure you that I absolutely fucking didn’t.”

Her lips parted, and for a moment, I thought the fight was about to drain out of her, but it didn’t.

Instead, it was like I could see those guards in her eyes sliding right back up.

“I want to believe you, Jameson. I wish I could, but it just doesn’t add up.

Those yacht parties Trent was referring to, they didn’t happen during your high school years.

The NDAs, all of that, it had to have happened after we were together. ”

“Because I doubled down after I left you,” I said hoarsely, having to force the words out.

“I’m not proud of that either, but you were the only girl I wanted to be with and I couldn’t have you, so I battened down the hatches, shut out the emotions, and went back to doing things in a way that didn’t end with me ripping my own fucking heart out. ”

Sadie’s blue eyes latched on mine, searching. Assessing. A beat passed before her eyebrows knitted. “Do you still feel that way about me now? Is that why you chose me to ask to marry you?”

I couldn’t answer that. Not right now. Not while things were so emotionally tense and heated already. “We’re getting married because we both need to do it.”

“Is that enough for you, though?”

Her tongue came out to swipe across her lips, her head held high as she waited for my response. Standing there in the middle of my kitchen, wearing her fluffy gown with her feet bare and her hair only half dry, she looked like a wet dream come true.

She looked like all my dreams come true, actually. Nothing less than her loving me as fully and completely as I used to love her would ever be enough for me, but I didn’t say that.

Instead of answering at all, I closed the distance between us in two short strides and kissed her again, catching her face in my hands and backing her against the kitchen island. I was all out of words and all out of restraint.

This girl, this beautiful, passionate, infuriating girl, had wedged herself as tightly under my skin as she had been all those years ago.

Years that I’d spent doing way too many things I shouldn’t have been doing, discovering vacuum conventions, and generally just messing around, waiting for life to feel good again. To feel full again.

It had never happened. Not until she had walked back into my life, and God help me, I wasn’t letting her leave again. I couldn’t, but I wanted her to be mine in ways I wasn’t sure she ever would be. Because the truth was that I was already hers.

Hell, I’d belonged to Sadie Shepard for over a decade. She just didn’t believe it yet.