Page 31 of Back in the Game (Pride in the Game #1)

Arlo had sent him several maps and tourism books on what to do for fun in Toronto.

A history of Toronto’s gay village. Several realtor listings for apartments and condos near where Jett lived.

Magazines about interior decorating trends that were popular this year.

And more Sunbursts merchandise than he knew what to do with.

He now had flags, mugs, a ball cap and a toque, but also random things like tea towels, pens and a decal sticker for his car.

When he’d refused to answer Arlo’s calls for a week, his cousin had sent him a genealogy kit that supposedly could point out talents in your genetics like sports or science, and paperwork for surrogacy in Canada.

“I’ve received your packages and see your point.”

Arlo cackled. He sounded like he was packing his things, tossing stuff into bags and zipping them closed. “So, when is your flight booked for?”

“Arlo.”

“Come on, Harrison. I know you guys have been talking again. He’s still sad, though.”

When Harrison didn’t say anything, Arlo continued.

“Did he tell you about Mike?”

“What about him?” Harrison asked, irritability spiking at the thought of that jerk.

“Mike got kicked out of Acadia. There was too much bad press about his attitude at the hockey games. The coaches and the school board of directors got involved and interviewed the team. They all had my back, not that I needed them to anymore, but they did anyway. They told them about all his incidents of bullying, how homophobic he was, and how he wasn’t a team player.

They all had dozens of text messages to prove it.

Gates even had videos of him going after Jett in the locker room.

He got kicked off the team, the school kicked him out, and they’re considering assault charges. ”

“Holy shit,” said Harrison. “Jett hasn’t said anything to me about any of that.”

“He showed me the messages that Mike sent him after all this. He blames Jett because he’s just that nice of a guy,” Arlo growled sarcastically. “Jett is such a sweetheart. He’s so upset over it all. He’s worried that he’s going to get dragged into it. He only wants Mike to leave him alone.”

Blinding rage flashed over Harrison’s vision for a second, and he had to sit down and focus on his breathing before he punched something.

“Is he leaving him alone now?”

“I told Jett not to block him because it’s evidence, but I showed him how to mute his messages.

He said he might hire a lawyer to slap Mike with a protection order.

I don’t think he’s worried the guy might come after him, but Jett’s the type of guy who worries about being liked. That makes it hard on him.”

Didn’t Harrison know it. He felt like that was half the reason he had grown so fond of Jett in such a short amount of time.

People like Jett were rare because it took a certain type of innocent person to live in the world today with the mindset of always being able to see the good in others.

It was why Harrison was so protective of him.

He wanted to put himself between Jett and everyone else, acting as a shield to ensure he never lost his accepting personality.

Arlo sighed, and Harrison frowned. There was something more behind it than Arlo’s usual exasperation.

“Harrison, I’m going to be nice and tell you this because I’m a good guy, and despite all your many, many faults, I love you.”

Harrison leaned against the kitchen counter and waited.

“Jett needs you. Even without the whole Mike thing scaring the shit out of him—he needs you. I know that kid acts like he’s got it all together, but we both know that’s not true.

I don’t think he knew how much he needed you until you two got close.

And now that he knows what it’s like to have you… it’s messing with him. ”

Harrison opened his mouth to speak, but Arlo was already talking again.

“I haven’t known you long. I’m not Luca—I didn’t grow up with you, and I’m not like Taylor, who played hockey with you.

But I know the person who was left behind after they were gone.

You think you’ll hold Jett back or slow him down, but I think it’s the opposite.

I don’t like to repeat myself, but if you take one more goddamn chance—trust whatever this thing is between you two—you might get to watch him grow into something more. Maybe even something great.”

It was getting hard to breathe. Harrison gripped the counter until his fingers went numb.

“I’ve been listening to you both talk about each other.

You less so, but the fact that you’re considering taking Jett up on his offer means something.

So, why are you brooding in the woods when you could show up for Jett and give him the support you gave me?

The support that showed me how to trust again and allowed me to heal? ”

“Arlo—”

“When you were on the ice, did you think about what you were doing next? Or did you just fucking do it ?”

Harrison’s leg was aching. It was going to rain soon.

He let go of the counter and slid to the floor, trying to control his breathing. He was becoming well-acquainted with the floor lately.

“Step up and show up, Killinger,” said Arlo sternly. “You never let me get away with avoiding the difficult shit, and I’m about to do the same because it’s for your own damn good. I’m not talking to you again until I see you at Jett’s preseason game against Montreal.”

The line went dead, and Harrison mindlessly placed the phone on the floor beside him.

He tried to think about anything else so he could focus long enough to pick himself off the floor, but his thoughts always returned to Jett. The way he smiled whenever he caught Harrison watching him, and the sadness that followed when Jett thought he had looked away.

The duality had attracted Harrison; a curiosity and amazement of how someone could be all warmth and happiness one second, and then fade into shadows the next.

Harrison hated watching it happen, and that was when he found himself working to get those smiles out of Jett. He kept his eyes on him, knowing Jett would smile as long as he was looking. He praised him, knowing that Jett wanted and deserved that praise.

He didn’t remember when it happened, but somehow, he went from doing those things to make Jett feel better to doing them to make himself feel better.

Jett gave him a reason to smile. Jett gave him a reason to speak. Jett gave him a reason to laugh and make jokes.

And for the first time since he had moved into this lake house, Harrison didn’t want to be there. He wanted to be anywhere else, but specifically where he could feel the way he felt when he was with Jett.

Fuck, he just really wanted Jett.

Harrison was numb from sitting on the floor, but it wasn’t enough. It was dark outside, and he could hear the first droplets of rain pattering on the window.

Rain was the last thing he needed. He could feel the creeping sensation of anxiety beginning to take over, filling up all the hollow places inside of him that felt like they were carved deeper without Jett there.

He needed to be numb. He needed to hide from the feeling before he lost his mind.

Harrison stood using the nearest barstool to pull himself onto his feet. His hands shook as he scooped up his phone and stumbled to the kitchen island.

He just needed to get to the shower. The faster he moved, the sooner he could feel like himself again.

Harrison took a step, his hand brushing along the kitchen island and snagging on some of the junk Arlo had sent him, knocking half of it to the floor. He swore and fumbled to catch it, managing only to grab the Sunbursts jersey in time to keep it from joining the rest underfoot.

Harrison held the jersey in his left hand, staring at it in disbelief as his eyes traced over the name there.

Fraser.

How he had grown to hate that name after the accident.

How that name had filled him with rage when he saw it stitched onto white and blue colours.

And how ironic he thought it was that the owner of the stupid name was the only thing stopping him from feeling like the world was trying to swallow him up.

Harrison put the jersey on, not realizing how cold he was until he felt the warmth from it settle over him like a blanket. He walked to his room and shut the door behind him, heading into the bathroom and flipping the light on. He didn’t want the dark right now—he wanted—

Harrison went into the shower and put himself in the corner, hugging his legs to his chest. He didn’t stop to think before he opened his phone and found Jett’s number.

It rang.

Harrison closed his eyes.

“Hello?”

Harrison dropped his face to his knees, his next inhale catching on a dry, shuddering sob.

Jett sounded so confused and worried, and Harrison hated himself for what he was about to do, but he needed him.

“Please, Jett.” Harrison’s teeth were rattling. He hadn’t even turned the cold water on. “I’m sorry—I’m trying to stop.”

Jett let out a wounded sound, like Harrison had punched him in the stomach.

“Don’t fucking move,” said Jett, and Harrison waited, taking deep breaths while he listened to the sounds of feet running on concrete.

People were talking in the background over the sound of echoing footfalls, some voices calling out Jett’s name, but he didn’t stop. He kept running until he heard a car door opening and slamming closed.

“Ryan, please,” said Jett between harsh breaths. “I need to borrow your car for a second.”

There was no argument, only the same sound of a car door opening and closing, and then there was silence between them.

They were panting hard like they had raced a lap around the rink, but Jett didn’t waste any time.

“I’m here, Harrison. I’m right fucking here.”

Harrison’s breathing hitched, leaving him in small gasps. He pressed the phone to his ear, feeling the need to hold Jett as close as he could.

“I’m going to start talking, and you don’t need to think about what I’m saying or come up with a response. I just want you to hear me.”