Page 55 of Babydaddy To Go

He has the ex part right and that’s what I’m trying to change. I pull out my wallet and pull out a hundred dollar bill from inside. He eyes it warily.

“Still can’t help you.”

So he’s going to play hard ball? I can too. I add hundreds until I’m holding five hundred dollars out to him. He finally accepts and pulls out his universal key ring.

The inside of Alyssa’s apartment is barren. All of the photos, clothes, and appliances have been cleared out.

She’s really gone.

I’m such a fool! I move like a zombie from room to room. I should have known that my Alyssa would never do anything to hurt me.

Why did I fall for Samantha’s tricks?

And, more importantly, how am I going to fix this?

18

Alyssa

Friday

The same blue walls I’ve seen nearly ever morning of my life mock me for returning home after my one experience with freedom.

We knew you’d never make it, they seem to say. The photos of celebrity chefs taped around my vanity mirror make it that much worse. Especially because many of those photos feature the man I fell for, and lost, on my little adventure at leaving home.

Clearly, I’m meant to be a small-town girl for the rest of my life. My grandparents appreciate my cooking and they’ve never broken my heart. Living here won’t be so bad.

Grams was right. Tuesday morning, I ventured out into town and received five different job offers from five different restaurants. I told them I’d get back to them by the weekend, which means I should give them all an answer today. I’m not sure I’m prepared to get back in the kitchen quite yet, though. That’s why I’ve been putting off my decision.

My eyes settle on one of the photos on my vanity. It used to be my favorite one. Nate stands proudly in front of his first restaurant. He’s wearing the same white chef’s coat he wore to teach, and he’s holding a spatula. The smile on his face is so wide I’m worried his lips might have cracked on the corners. That look is pure happiness.

I saw that look when we were together. For those blissful four weeks, nothing could hurt me because I had an incredible man by my side. I never thought he would be the one to break my heart and send my world crumbling to pieces.

There are so many good memories for me to hold onto. They’re almost enough to outweigh the bad. I let my mind wander to Nate holding my hand as we walked through his restaurant and the way he looked at me the way he looks in that photo on my mirror.

Then my thoughts fall down a different path. That same day in the restaurant, Nate showed me passion I’d hardly felt before. Who knew a supply closet was the perfect place to fall in love?

I’ll never forget the moment my back hit the cold metal as Nate entered me… My spine tingles at the memory. I want more than anything to push it from my mind. Thinking about how good it was makes me want it to happen again, but it can’t. That was a lifetime ago now. I doubt I’ll ever feel that kind of love again. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and I’m grateful to have had it, even if it ended so horribly.

My phone clock reads a little after eight in the morning. After my stint in New York, my body is wired to wake up early like this. I wish I could sleep through my days because then I’d never have to think about Nate again, but that’s not going to happen.

Groaning, I roll out of bed and get dressed. Downstairs, Grams and Gramps are already up. Gramps reads the newspaper while Grams prepares breakfast.

“Morning, girly,” Grams says, holding out her cheek for a kiss. “How’d you sleep?”

“Really well,” I lie. Our bedrooms are far enough apart that my grandparents didn’t hear me tossing and turning for the fourth night in a row.

I hate putting on a fake face for them, but I don’t want them to worry. They both know what happened in New York. I’d prefer to leave it at that. As far as they’re concerned, I’ve been totally happy since moving back to Maine.

They don’t need to know that my happiness is a mask and that my heart is still somewhere in New York being crushed by a billionaire who didn’t love me enough to listen to me.

I’m hurting so much from what happened with Nate already, but faking in front of my grandparents makes it so much worse. It would break their hearts to know the truth, though, so I’ll keep plastering on a smile. Maybe if I do it long enough, I’ll actually start to be happy.

“Breakfast is nearly ready, but we’re out of eggs. Would you mind going on down to the coop to get some more?”

Jeans and a loose fitting long-sleeved shirt aren’t ideal for wrestling with hens for eggs, but I don’t feel like changing. I’ve hardly worn anything but my pajamas since getting home. It’s kind of nice to have on real clothes for once.

It’s also tempting to run back upstairs, strip off the clothes and the smile, and throw myself back under the blanket.