Page 8
Zara
Clarity clapped her hands together once, the sound cutting through the lingering tension in the room. “We should have a family night soon,” she announced, her eyes bright with an enthusiasm that felt slightly forced. “Get everyone together properly, make it official.” The words “make it official” hung in the air between us, heavy with meaning I wasn’t sure I fully grasped yet. Beside me, I felt Azrael stiffen almost imperceptibly.
“Family night?” I echoed, trying to keep my voice steady despite the sudden flutter of anxiety in my chest.
Clarity nodded, her eyes flicking briefly to Azrael before returning to me. “Nothing formal. Just dinner, drinks. A chance for everyone to meet you all at once instead of in bits and pieces.”
“Which means kicking the club girls out for the night,” Janessa said. “I’m always down for that.”
Everyone. The word expanded in my mind, filling it with images of leather-clad men with hard eyes and guarded expressions, women watching me with calculating gazes, all of them measuring whether I was worthy of their Angel of Death.
“Everyone meaning…” I let the question trail off.
“The officers and their old ladies, patched members,” Clarity explained. “Maybe the Prospects and kids. Depends on who’s around. We try to do these gatherings every few months anyway, so it’s about time.”
Azrael moved closer to me, his arm sliding around my waist in a gesture that felt both possessive and protective. “We can discuss it later,” he said, his deep voice resonating through me where our bodies touched. “Zara’s still getting used to all this.”
I shot him a grateful look, though part of me bristled slightly at being spoken for. I wasn’t some fragile flower that needed sheltering. But another part -- the part still reeling from everything I’d learned in the past hour -- was thankful for the reprieve.
“Of course,” Clarity agreed easily, though her knowing eyes missed nothing. “Just putting it out there. No rush.”
Janessa snorted softly, apparently finding something amusing in the exchange. When I glanced her way, she merely raised an eyebrow as if to say, “See what I mean?”
The sliding glass door opened again, and a man stepped into the room. Even if Azrael hadn’t mentioned his name, I would have known this was Scratch. Despite his age -- he had to be in his seventies -- he carried himself with the unmistakable authority of someone accustomed to command. His long gray hair and beard gave him an almost wizardly appearance, but there was nothing gentle or mystical in his sharp eyes as they assessed me.
“So this is her,” he said, his voice gruff but not unkind. “The woman who’s got our Azrael acting like a lovesick fool.”
I felt heat rush to my face but refused to look away from his scrutiny. Exactly what had they discussed? There was no way Azrael was in love with me. Had he given them that impression on purpose?
“I’m Zara,” I said, stepping forward slightly but not breaking contact with Azrael. “It’s good to meet you, sir.”
Scratch’s face broke into a sudden grin. “Sir? Hear that, Clarity? The girl’s got manners.” He approached, and for a moment I thought he might offer his hand to shake, but instead, he pulled me into a brief, strong hug that smelled of motor oil and tobacco. “Welcome to the family, girl. About time this one found someone to keep him grounded.”
When he released me, I stepped back into the comfort of Azrael’s presence, slightly overwhelmed by Scratch’s immediate acceptance.
“We won’t keep you long today,” Scratch continued, addressing both of us now. “Just wanted to get a look at the woman who’s managed what half the females in the county couldn’t.” His eyes crinkled with amusement. “She’s a pretty one, Az. Good taste.”
“She’s standing right here,” Azrael reminded him, though I could hear the subtle note of pride in his voice.
“That she is,” Scratch agreed, unrepentant. “You coming to the meeting tomorrow night? I know Charming didn’t officially call Church, but it would be good if you showed up.”
The question was directed at Azrael, who nodded once. “Unless something comes up.”
“Good. Got some business to discuss.” Scratch’s tone shifted slightly, becoming more serious. “Trouble brewing over on the eastside. Nothing we can’t handle, but we need to get ahead of it.”
I felt Azrael’s body tense beside me, though his expression remained neutral. “I’ll be there.”
Something wordless passed between the two men, an understanding that went beyond the simple exchange.
“We should probably get going,” Azrael said after a moment, his hand still firm at my waist. “Long day tomorrow. We were supposed to go to her mom’s house today to check things out, but I asked for an extra day. Wanted her to know a few people before I ran off and left her for a bit.”
Clarity smiled knowingly. “Of course. It was lovely meeting you, Zara. Don’t be a stranger.”
“She needs to meet everyone,” Scratch said.
“We already discussed holding a family night,” Charity replied.
Scratch nodded. “No pressure, but it’d be good to get it done sooner rather than later. Let everyone know where things stand.”
Goodbyes were exchanged, with Janessa giving me a small nod that felt more meaningful than her earlier reception. As we stepped out onto the porch, the late afternoon sun momentarily blinded me, and I lifted a hand to shield my eyes.
“You okay?” Azrael asked quietly as we walked toward his bike.
“Yeah,” I said automatically, then reconsidered. “No. I don’t know. It’s a lot to take in.”
He stopped, turning to face me fully. His dark eyes searched mine, concern evident in the slight furrow of his brow. “Too much?”
The question hung between us, heavy with implications. Was this life too much? Was he too much? For a moment, I considered the simplicity of my existence before Azrael -- my job, my small circle of… well not friends, but acquaintances, the predictable rhythms of my days. It had been comfortable. Safe.
But it had never made me feel the way I did when I was with him -- alive, seen, breathless with possibility.
“No,” I said finally, meeting his gaze steadily. “Not too much. Just… intense.”
Something in his expression relaxed, though the concern remained. “We don’t have to do the family night thing right away. Scratch and the others will understand.”
“But it’s important, isn’t it?” I pressed.
Azrael nodded slowly. “In this life… yeah. It matters. Tells everyone you’re under my protection. That you’re mine.” He paused, his jaw tightening slightly. “But that doesn’t mean we have to rush it if you’re not ready.”
The ride back to Azrael’s house was silent. I clung to his back, my cheek pressed against the leather of his cut, the embroidered Devil’s Boneyard patch rough against my skin. The wind whipped around us, carrying away my jumbled thoughts almost as quickly as they formed.
By the time we pulled into his driveway, the sun cast long shadows across the house. Azrael killed the engine and helped me off the bike before dismounting himself. Neither of us spoke as we walked to the front door.
Inside, the familiar scent of leather, sandalwood, and something uniquely Azrael enveloped me. The house was sparsely but thoughtfully furnished -- comfortable couch, solid wood coffee table, bookshelves filled with an eclectic mix of titles that had surprised me when I first saw them. This was a home, not just a place to sleep.
Without thinking, I made my way to the couch and sank down onto it, suddenly aware of how tense my body had been. Azrael moved to the kitchen, returning moments later with two glasses of water. He handed one to me before taking a seat close enough for our knees to touch.
“Talk to me,” he said simply.
I took a sip of water, organizing my thoughts. “They were… Not unfriendly, exactly, but…”
“Cautious,” Azrael supplied. “They’re protective of the club. Of me.”
“They warned me about club girls,” I said, watching his face carefully. “Said they might try to stake a claim on you when I’m around.”
Something darkened in his expression.
“Should they be a problem?” I asked, the question that had been nagging at me finally surfacing. “Do you have history there I should know about? You said you hadn’t been with any of them in the last year, but that doesn’t mean you never have. I guess what I’m really asking is… are these the same women who were at the clubhouse when you did sleep with some of them?”
“They won’t be a problem. I’ll make that clear.” Azrael set his glass down and took mine from my hands, placing it beside his on the coffee table. Then he took my hands in his, his touch gentle despite the calluses that roughened his palms. “I’ve never brought a woman to meet the club before. Never introduced anyone as mine. There’ve been women, yes. I’m not going to lie about that. But nothing serious, nothing that mattered. Not in a long-ass time.”
I noticed he didn’t exactly answer my question. Which made me think at least one of those women had been with him before. It was silly to worry about it. Like he said, he hadn’t touched them in a year. He was with me now. That’s all that should matter but…
“How long?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“When I was just a Prospect for this club, I’d been dating someone seriously. Even back then, I wouldn’t walk away from a woman in trouble. It came back to bite me in the ass. My girlfriend ended up dead because of me.”
I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek, wishing I could take away his pain. Even now, all this time later, I could see the anguish in his eyes. “I doubt she blamed you.”
“Doesn’t matter. I blame myself.” His dark eyes held mine, unwavering. “You matter, Zara. That’s why I took you there today. That’s why Scratch and Clarity are talking about family night.”
The intensity of his gaze made it hard to breathe. “We’ve only known each other a few days,” I reminded him, though even to my own ears it sounded weak.
A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Time works differently in this life. When you know, you know.”
“And you know?” I whispered.
His hand came up to cup my cheek, thumb tracing the curve of my bottom lip. “I knew the moment you looked at me in that alley and met my gaze without flinching. When most people look at me, they see what they’re afraid of. You saw me.”
I leaned into his touch, remembering that moment. I’d realized who he was, known I’d be safe.
“I’m still learning what all this means,” I admitted. “The club, your role in it, what it means to be with you.”
“I know,” he said. “And I’ll give you all the time you need. But I want you to understand something.” His voice dropped lower, an edge of steel beneath the velvet. “I’ve done things that would horrify most people, and I’ll likely do them again. That’s who I am, Zara. That’s part of what you’re accepting by choosing this life with me.”
I thought about what Clarity had said, about separating the man from his actions. About loving someone through the darkness they carried.
“The women said the violence isn’t who you are, it’s what you do when necessary.”
Azrael’s expression softened slightly. “Smart women. Maybe smarter than me. They’ve been in this life a long time. They probably see things differently than most.”
“They also said that as your woman, I’d help you carry that weight. That I wouldn’t judge or flinch.” I met his gaze steadily. “I don’t think I will. Flinch, I mean. Not from the truth of who you are. Even before we officially met, I saw you as a hero. A legend. That hasn’t changed.”
Something shifted in his eyes -- relief, perhaps, or hope. “That’s all I can ask.”
Later, after Azrael had gone to shower, I curled up on the couch alone, pulling the soft throw blanket over my legs as I stared out the window at the deepening twilight. The events of the day replayed in my mind -- the introduction to Clarity and Janessa, their warnings and advice, Scratch’s immediate acceptance, the talk of a family night to meet everyone.
It was all happening so fast, this integration into a world I’d barely known existed. A world with its own rules and hierarchies, its own justice system, its own definitions of family and loyalty. A world where violence wasn’t just possible but expected, where the man who’d claimed me as his own was known as the Angel of Death.
And yet, despite everything I’d learned today, I couldn’t bring myself to be afraid. Not of Azrael, not of the life he represented. There was something almost liberating in the stark honesty of it all -- no pretense, no hiding behind social niceties. The club, for all its darkness, seemed to operate on a simple principle: protect what’s yours, at any cost.
Wasn’t that what Azrael had been doing all along? Protecting what was his? And now, somehow, that included me.
I pulled the blanket tighter around me, settling deeper into the couch as I listened to the sound of the shower running down the hall. This wasn’t the life I had imagined for myself, not by a long shot. It was dangerous, complex, bound by codes I was only beginning to understand.
But as I sat there in the growing darkness, I realized with sudden clarity that I wasn’t running from it. If anything, I was running toward it -- toward him -- with my eyes wide open.
Whatever came next, whatever this new life held, I would face it alongside the man who had seen something in me worth claiming as his own. The man I was beginning to believe might be worth claiming in return.
* * *
Azrael
The hot water hit my skin and I closed my eyes. I hadn’t known what to expect when I’d taken Zara to meet Clarity and Janessa. Could have been worse. I had no idea how Jordan would have reacted. Maybe it would be a good idea to have her meet Alora and Grey. They were less intense. Mostly.
For a while there, Grey had managed to clear the girls out of the clubhouse. It hadn’t lasted long. The single brothers had eventually told Charming it wasn’t right to let the old ladies run things. But something was different. Now all the women were vetted, and we made sure they were there willingly and not as a way to run away from their problems. If they needed help, we offered it.
She’d made good points, ones we hadn’t been able to ignore. Although, back then, I’d only been a Prospect. I’d only patched in four years ago. Since then, two others who had been Prospects with me had also been patched in. Hunter, who now went by Chaos, and Nick, who was now called Java. Since then, we’d gained some new Prospects.
I tipped my head back under the hot spray and contemplated what I’d do next. In the morning, I’d check out my mother-in-law’s house. But after that? I’d told Zara she could have all the time she needed before we took the next step. Didn’t mean my dick got any less hard around her. Even now, the damn thing was hard as a fucking rock.
Then again, not my first case of blue balls, or having to take care of the issue myself. Been doing that for over a year. Did it suck I had to do that after claiming a woman? Of course. At the same time, I wasn’t going to press her for more than she was willing to give. Hell, she’d been through so much, and even now, I knew she was stressed over the disappearance of her mother.
I needed to be able to tell her at least something. I’d focus on finding my mother-in-law and getting to know Zara day by day. Eventually, we’d grow closer. It was inevitable.
She’d given up a life to stay here. A job, her apartment… It didn’t feel right keeping her locked up in the house with nothing to do, no friends or family. Clarity and Scratch had made a good point about the family night. It was the best way for Zara to get close to the others. The times I was gone, she’d need people to rely on, ones she felt comfortable with. Right now, all she had was me.
Grabbing the soap, I washed quickly. Standing in the shower wasn’t going to solve anything. Not even the small stuff, like food. We hadn’t discussed dinner yet, and I was running out of options in the fridge and pantry. Maybe I’d have Zara make an online grocery order for tomorrow and ask a Prospect to pick it up. If she got a few things for the house, items that would help make it feel more like her home and not just mine, it would keep her occupied while I was gone in the morning.
Why did I get the feeling it would only end up causing an issue? We hadn’t talked about much of anything. Would she balk at me handing her my credit card to grocery shop or get the things we needed? I knew some of the old ladies hadn’t liked being taken care of, while others had gratefully accepted what their men gave them. Which category would Zara fall into? I had a feeling she’d be in the first group.
I finished my shower and got out. I towel-dried my hair, pulled on a pair of sweats, and went in search of Zara.
* * *
Zara
The shower cut off and I settled deeper into the couch, waiting for Azrael to emerge. The silence of the house wrapped around me, broken only by the occasional distant rumble of motorcycles passing by on the road. I pulled my knees up to my chest, thinking about everything I’d learned today.
When Azrael finally appeared, wearing only a pair of low-slung sweatpants, I couldn’t help but stare. Water droplets still clung to his broad shoulders, and his damp hair curled slightly at the ends. The tattoos that covered his chest and arms seemed to shift with each movement, telling stories I hadn’t yet learned to read.
“You look deep in thought,” he said, his voice a low rumble as he approached.
I smiled up at him. “Just processing everything from today. It was… educational.”
He settled beside me on the couch, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his freshly showered skin. “I’m sure it was. Clarity and Janessa don’t hold back.”
“No, they don’t,” I agreed. “But I appreciate that. I’d rather know what I’m walking into than be blindsided.”
Azrael nodded, his dark eyes studying my face. “Any second thoughts?”
The question hung between us, heavy with meaning. I considered it seriously, knowing he deserved honesty.
“Not second thoughts exactly,” I said carefully. “But questions. Concerns. The usual stuff when your life takes a completely unexpected turn.”
His mouth quirked up at one corner. “Fair enough.”
I shifted to face him more directly. “Tomorrow you said we’re going to my mom’s house?”
“Actually, I said I was going. I want to look around, see if there’s anything that might give us a lead on where she went or what happened. I’ll take two of my brothers with me. But you are going to remain here, just in case someone is watching her house.”
I narrowed my eyes, wanting to argue, but something told me to hold back. “And then you have that meeting at the club?”
He nodded. “I’ll try to let you know I’m back before the meeting, but I can’t promise I’ll have the time.”
Fine. It looked like that was all I would get from him on the matter. I’d just have to learn to live with it. Something told me this would happen again in the future. Not the exact same scenario, but him going off and me left wondering what the hell was going on.