Page 21 of Axel (Reed Hawthorne Security #6)

Axel

As soon as I slammed the door, the pain from the past hit me anew.

I wasn’t enough for my ex. She made that very clear.

And apparently, I’m not enough for a woman like Savvy.

I should have known based on how she treated me when we first met.

Instead of playing it smart, I let myself get drawn to her, to have feelings for her.

Of course she wouldn’t want anything more than fun with me. She never hid how she felt about military guys.

When she said she didn’t want anything serious, I was instantly angry. That’s why she had to leave. But why am I so angry? It’s not like I pictured some kind of forever with her.

Although I did picture something. The way I feel when I’m with her is unlike anything I’ve felt for another woman. I can’t deny that. She felt it. She told me so.

Damn, Maria. How could she tell her about my past and that I won’t do relationships ?

I grab my coat and storm over to my sister’s place.

She opens the door. “Hunter, I’m surprised to see you again today.”

“Can I come in?”

She steps aside and I walk in.

“Why the hell did you tell Savvy I’m not into relationships?”

Maria stares at me with her jaw hanging open. “Because you’re not,” she finally says.

“And why do you think that?”

She motions to the couch, and we both sit down. “You haven’t had one since Harper. I know she hurt you.”

I nod. “You know, the past few years, I’ve been very busy with work. And you.” I turn to her.

She motions to her chest. “Are you saying I prevented you from having a girlfriend?”

“Sort of.”

“Ha!” She stands up. “You’re kidding me right now, right?”

I shake my head.

Anger flares in my sister’s eyes. “Wow. Okay, so you want to blame me for the fact that you have only had one-night stands with women? There is no other reason?”

I grab a pillow in case I need it. I can’t say I’ve ever seen her this mad. “No, that’s not the only reason.”

“For the last year, I have seen you only a handful of times. Most of those were when we went to view cabins. I did not take up most of your time. But if that’s what you need to tell yourself to feel better about not being able to be in a relationship, that’s fine.

But don’t, for one minute, get angry that I was simply trying to warn my friend.

You’ve got issues. Maybe they are deeper than I realized if you are trying to blame them on me. Savvy needed to know.”

I stand up and toss the pillow aside. “I’ve got issues? That’s quite the hypocritical thing to say.”

Her eyes narrow. “I’ll admit I have some issues. But at least I’m in therapy for it. What are you doing?”

I can see now that this conversation is pointless. I stalk toward the door. “Don’t tell people about my ex. That’s my business.” I slam the door as I leave.

On the way back to my place, I stop and grab pizza. I can barely taste it as I eat. Now I’m upset with Savvy and my sister. Not sure how this day can get any better.

My phone rings and I close my eyes and hope it’s good news.

“Hello?”

“Axel, it’s Stevens.”

Well, this isn’t promising.

“What’s wrong?”

She sighs. “Robert Kuffel was just released on bail. And no, he wasn’t given an ankle monitor. You need to find your friend, Savvy.”

Apparently, this nightmare doesn’t end. And why the hell didn’t my police contact inform me of this? “How the hell did this happen?”

“He made bail. That’s all I know.”

“How long ago?”

“About twenty minutes.”

“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll track her down. ”

It doesn’t matter how I feel about Savvy right now. She needs me.

Axel: Bob has been released from jail. Where are you?

Savvy: I almost blocked you. I’m home.

Axel: On my way.

Savvy: It’s not necessary.

Axel: Yes it is.

Savvy: No, please. I’ll stay in a hotel. I don’t want to see you.

I swallow. A hotel isn’t going to solve this.

Axel: Wait. I’ll see if Durango can stop by.

I call my friend and explain about Bob.

“So, are you going over there?” Durango asks.

“She doesn’t want me to. She is hoping someone else can stop by. That’s why I’m calling you.”

He’s silent for a moment. “What did you do?”

While I don’t want to talk about this, I have no choice. He has to know what’s going on.

“My sister told Savvy I don’t do relationships. Savvy decided to tell me she’s fine with that because I’m not long-term material. And it pissed me off.”

“You’re pissed because your sister talked to Savvy about you? I mean, they are best friends, so it makes sense she would,” Durango says.

And here’s where I finally have to admit it out loud. “No, I’m pissed that Savvy doesn’t think I’m good enough to consider for something more.”

Durango whistles through the phone. “Okay, now it makes sense. You really like her.”

“Yes, I do. ”

“Well, she probably only said that because of what your sister told her. Did you tell her you wanted more?”

“Yes. No. Kind of.” I didn’t exactly. No, I got mad and asked her to leave.

“Well, here’s your chance. Go over there and tell her. If it all goes to hell, call me and I’ll be there.”

Tell her I want more when she said she didn’t?

I sigh. He’s right. Even if she doesn’t want that, I need to be honest with her.

And not in anger, the way I was earlier.

Otherwise, we are right back where we were before all of this.

I’ll see her often enough because of my sister and us both having cabins on the same lake. I don’t want to have to avoid her.

“Okay, fine. I’ll go. But be ready for that phone call.”

Durango laughs. “I will. But I hope I don’t get it. Good luck.”

Yeah, I need more than good luck to get through this. I text her back that Durango is on his way. It’s a lie, but I need her to at least open the door for me.

The only thing that prevents me from taking my time getting there is that Bob could be anywhere by now.

I’ve seen guys like Bob before. The ones who smile and convince everyone they are good guys. He’s biding his time, waiting for the right moment to find Savvy. I need to protect her. So, I suck up my pride and knock on her door.

It opens, and when she sees me, she tries to close it. That means she didn’t check to see who was at her door. I get my foot wedged in just in time.

“I need to talk to you,” I say .

She glares at me and then opens the door. “By forcing your way in?”

I step in and glance around. “Are the windows locked? Back door?”

She crosses her arms. “Yes, where is Durango?”

I finally turn to face her. “He couldn’t make it. Besides, we need to talk.”

“You mentioned that already. I don’t think that’s necessary. You and Maria were right. We aren’t a good idea. I’ll end up hurt.” She moves past me toward her kitchen.

She’ll get hurt? I follow. “Okay then, just listen.”

She shakes her head as she retrieves a mug. “Like I have a choice.” She places a tea bag in her mug and then pours hot water into it from a kettle on the stove. Finally, she sits at her kitchen table, but she avoids eye contact.

I’m not sure where to begin, as everything sounds wrong in my mind.

She glances up at me. “Look, I said I’m sorry about Maria telling me about your past. I really didn’t ask.”

“It’s not that.” I take a deep breath and then let it all out. “What bothered me is that you only saw me as a fun time, not someone good enough for a relationship. I realize I don’t have some fancy college degree, and my work is dangerous, but I don’t like being told I’m not good enough.”

It wasn’t just what she said but how she said it. It was as if she’d already filed me away as a temporary fling.

Finally, I bring my eyes to hers. The sheer look of surprise on her face catches me off guard. For a moment, I think she might laugh .

“Not good enough?” she finally says. “How did you get to that conclusion? If you weren’t good enough, then why would I entertain any involvement with you?”

I blink as I think about this. “Well, using me for sex is quite different than using me for love.”

Her gaze goes to her mug. “Using you for love? What are you saying, Hunter?”

I swallow. “I don’t want a fling with you. I want something more.”

Her eyes meet mine.

“And it hurt when you made it clear you didn’t. I got mad and took it out on you. But since we will see each other at the lake and at Maria’s place, I wanted to be honest with you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to avoid me.”

Her mouth opens, then closes. She stares into her mug like it might tell her what to say. Then, softly, she says, “I caught feelings.”

My heart rate picks up. Does she want more, too? “What?”

She sets her mug on the table. “I’m sorry. I never meant to insult you. I didn’t realize you would want anything more, and honestly, I didn’t think I did, either. Until you kicked me out.”

She reaches across the table and takes my hand. Electricity shoots through me. “That’s when I knew I was falling for you,” she says.

I squeeze her hand. “Me too. And I really want to see where this goes.”

“Me too.” She closes her eyes. “But I’m afraid of getting hurt.” When she opens her eyes, they are glassy. “Please don’t hurt me.”

I stand up and pull her up with me. “I have no intention of hurting you.”

We stare at each other for a moment, and then she cracks a smile.

“All right. This will either be really great or a complete disaster,” she says.

I intertwine my fingers in hers. “Hopefully it’s the first one.”

She bites her lip. “So, what do we do now? Have sex?”

I choke on air at her direct statement. “You don’t hold back, do you?”

“Nope.”

“Since I’m here to make sure Bob doesn’t come by, let’s put a pin in that idea for now. Maybe we should start with a date.”

She scrunches her nose. “A date? Sounds so formal.”

I squeeze her hand. “Nothing wrong with formal. First, I want to get Bob back behind bars. And while he’s out, I think you should stay at my place. I have a great security system, and it appears you have none.”

“Haven’t needed one.”

I nod. “We’ll revisit that once we are past this. But for now, let’s get you packed up.”

“Why is Bob out?”

“Bail.”

She crosses her arms. “Oh.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“It could be months before Bob is behind bars, depending how long the trial goes and assuming he’s found guilty.”

Months. I hadn’t thought of that. Bob could be free for months.

And while he must know by now that Savvy’s testimony isn’t the only evidence against him, does he blame her?

Is he a vengeful guy? Because, as much as I want to, there is no way Reed is going to let me protect her for months.

But I’ll be damned if I’ll let her be vulnerable while Bob is loose.

“We will take it one day at a time. I won’t let him hurt you.”