Page 36

F or the first half of the short trip back to the mainland, they chatted over how her flight had gone that morning and what reports he’d received when he went back to his office at the palace, but as they drew closer to home, Seidon found it harder and harder to draw words to his lips.

His eyes kept moving to the spires of the cathedral.

It had been three years since he’d been in one of the ten cathedrals in Daryatla that had the Channels built into them to allow for the Mercy of Waters.

Not by design—but as he traveled farther inland, eventually out of what had been established Daryatlean territory, the places of worship had not been designed with that demonstration in mind.

He’d yearned to return, yes. To reassure his people—and himself. He’d prayed as diligently as ever, he had received countless moments of encouragement from the Triada in smaller, more personal ways.

Even so, the sight of the empire’s largest cathedral, with its crystal arches waiting for the rising of waters beyond his control, struck him with awe.

It had been more than two decades since he’d knelt in that building.

It was a long time to ask his people to trust him without any proof that he was still their anointed king.

Arden must have noticed the direction of his distraction. A bemused half-smile tilted her lips upward. “You aren’t seriously worried, are you? About the Mercy of Waters?”

A sigh was the only answer he could muster.

She shook her head. “Seidon, I saw you last night—we all did. The way you sensed the Black Tails’ invasion even when the mer royalty couldn’t. The way you pushed them back. There’s no one stronger—there has never been anyone stronger.”

He winced at what that last phrase alluded to. “That’s the problem, though, isn’t it? With power comes corruption. Just look at the first Sea King.”

“But you aren’t—”

“I’m far from perfect. My behavior yesterday is evidence enough of that.

” He shook his head, Rico’s words still rattling around inside.

“I owe you an apology, Arden. I shouldn’t have pulled that stunt with the dress.

It solved a problem for me, yes, but I gave no consideration to the ones it would create for you. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”

He could see the shift in her posture, in her face, as her attention shifted from him to herself. He could practically see the Of course you’re sorry roll through her mind, nearly spilling off her tongue before she bit it back, forced a smile, and muttered, “You’re forgiven.”

He reached over and took her hand in what was quickly becoming a habit he really should figure out how to stifle.

“Hey. The apology, the request for forgiveness, is about the deception I forced you into. Do you understand that? I’m not apologizing for the dance—and I intend to claim the one you promised me when you lost that bet about Ora this morning. ”

At least her smile went genuine, though her eyes still looked baffled as she shook her head. “And you’re worried you’ve gone corrupt?”

“I worry…” He sighed and turned his head to study the darker water of the channel that had been filled with mer last night. Mer armed with weapons he’d never seen before, technology or magic he didn’t know how to fight. “I worry I’m not capable of protecting my people from this war.”

“And you think someone else is?”

“I don’t know.” He’d never yet found anyone with strong enough magic…but innumerable young people were waiting for their Awakening ceremonies. One of them could be the next anointed. One of them could be stronger than he was.

She leaned forward on her bench, a few inches closer to him. “All right, so let’s say the Mercy of Waters doesn’t come tonight. What would you do?”

His brows crashed together like storm-tossed waves.

Had he considered the question before? Yes, a thousand times.

A hundred thousand times. He’d wrestled that question into submission over and over again, as the decades turned into centuries and he failed to give his people a new generation, an heir.

Multiple times he’d considered that perhaps the Triada meant to protect Daryatla not through a child of his blood, but through a successor he would find elsewhere and train.

He’d asked himself if he could do that, and how.

“If the Triada rescinds his favor, I would bow to his will. I would announce that there is another king or queen ready to lead our people, and I would search for him or her. I would hold Awakening ceremonies everywhere, as quickly as I could, to find the next chosen one, and I would teach that person everything I’ve learned.

I would do everything I could to make the transition easy for all. ”

She stared at him in obvious incredulity. “You could do that? Hand over everything you’ve worked two centuries for?”

“No king is meant to rule forever.” Still, his throat went tight, and he liked her too much to hide it from her.

“It would be difficult. The most difficult thing I’ve ever done.

But I nearly lost the Triada’s favor once before.

I know that the pain of disappointing him is greater than anything else. ”

Her fingers went tight around his. “When was that?”

“Hmm?” He looked over to her in surprise despite knowing she couldn’t answer her own question. It wasn’t a story others told often. It was his story to tell, after all, and few still alive today had been there.

He drew in a breath. “My third wife, Emilia—she…was not happy with me. She came from the Sun People, the Desert Dwellers, and she hated our climate here. She insisted on staying at our westernmost palace, but I wasn’t strong enough at the time to do my duty well from there.

I had to travel frequently back to the coastal palaces.

” His eyes slid shut, the memories coming fast and strong, even though he’d prayed over and again that the Triada would let them fade.

Arden’s thumb stroked over his knuckle.

He tried to tell himself that wasn’t why his throat went tight, that it was only the memories.

“I returned two weeks earlier than scheduled from one of my trips, and I found her with the ambassador from her father’s kingdom, the one who had arrived to take his office when we wed.

The whole time we were married, they…” He had to shake his head, words failing him even now, sixty years later.

Arden’s eyes had gone wide. “No! That’s unforgivable.”

“Exactly how I felt—and it nearly destroyed me. I sent her away in disgrace, back to her father, and I was so furious, I…I refused to give her a guard, even though I knew bandits patrolled the wasteland between our kingdoms. I didn’t care.

In fact, I hoped…” Again, the words, the old feelings choked him.

Arden’s breath hissed out. “Understandable.”

“Perhaps. But not excusable.” Another shake of his head, but it did nothing to keep the tears from stinging his eyes.

Guilty, shame-filled tears for the sin he hadn’t wanted to confess.

“I got my wish. Their contingent was attacked, and both of them were killed. Ruthlessly. Mercilessly. And it only made me angrier, because I knew it was my fault, I knew the guilt was mine, and I refused to give it up—I instead blamed it on the Triada. Had I not obeyed my mother in marrying a Sun Princess? Had I not done everything the Triada asked? Had I not tried everything I could think of to win her heart? And that was my reward. I clung to that bitterness and let it fester. I let my mother believe they’d been going home for a visit, and she spread the story far and wide.

Poor King Seidon, widowed again by tragedy.

Poor King Seidon, robbed of his wife.” A laugh, still too bitter, slipped out. “That much was true, I suppose.”

“Seidon.” The pain in her voice could only be an echo, a mirror of his own. Even so, hearing it was enough to pull him back, remind him that for every bit of hatred that had once filled his heart, the Triada had refilled it with his own love.

He gave her a small smile. “I stayed out of any cathedrals for two years while I let that pain feast on me. And then when Mother insisted I come home, here to the Tidal Palace, for her birthday celebration, I was brazen and hard enough in my heart that I thought I could bully the Triada into doing what was expected. I thought I could call the waters up myself, or that he would show his mercy because no one else was strong enough to force me aside, like my own great-grandmother did to the first Sea King.”

Did she even realize how tightly she was gripping his hand? “What happened?”

“When I knelt before the priest and took the thanksgiving, there was only the barest movement of the waters. There, but no stronger than what was shown to my mother. Which made me furious. So I reached out, thinking to force the waters up, but…” He chuckled at the memory, though it had been anything but amusing at the time.

“That is the wonder of the waters. They are cut off from sea and ground and air. The channels insulate them. Try as I might, I cannot sense them, not with my magic. I can only see them with my eyes like everyone else. And I did see. I saw that as powerful as I had grown, the Triada is greater. Furious as I was for what he took from me, that gave me no right to demand anything from him. The Triada gives and the Triada takes away. Blessed be his name.”

Arden’s breath eased out. “Yet he didn’t take the throne away.”

“Nearly. And I knew it. I knew that I was on the brink of forfeiting all that had ever mattered to me because I clung to hatred and bitterness. I knew that the Triada could strike me down in that moment, and it would not only break my mother’s heart, it would force her back onto the throne until another heir could be found or raised.

I knew that if I let that darkness devour me for another moment, I would leave my people weak and Ralia would seize the opportunity and attack.

So I cried out to him. I begged for his forgiveness.

For an entire week, until the next missa, I stayed there on my knees.

Praying. Crying. Begging him to take the darkness away and restore me. ”

“A whole week?” She blinked at the thought. “Were you alone?”

“Much of the time, yes. Though one of the youngest priests brought me food and water. I refused the food, but I drank enough to keep myself alive and alert. After the third day, Enoch began to talk to me. I confessed the darkness of my heart, and he helped me to see that it had never been my own strength that made me worthy to be king of Daryatla. It had always been and could only ever be the Triada’s strength.

Without him, without his favor, I was no better than the tyrant my great-grandmother deposed. ”

Arden straightened. “And at the next missa?”

His lips curled up. “The Mercy returned. Stronger, higher, more beautiful than it had ever been before. The Triada had made me anew. And I swore on that day that I would never again assume, not even for a minute, that this gift he’d given me was truly mine.

He could strip me of it in a heartbeat. And will, if and when another can better serve the people. ”

“Well.” Arden squeezed his fingers once more then loosened her grip. “It will be an honor to sit with you this evening, Your Majesty. And a joy to see the Mercy with my own eyes.”

He appreciated her confidence, even if he didn’t dare to share it. “What are the people saying?”

“Hmm?” She frowned, though he watched her work through the question, her features relaxing into understanding again in the next second.

“There’s a bit of grumbling among the younger generation.

Any time something goes wrong, they complain about not having seen the proof that you’re still our rightful king, and mutter things about how you’re half sea-demon.

” She flashed him a grin. “Jade always silences the grumbles though.”

“Jade does, huh? Not you? You let all your friends insult your father’s old buddy?” He splayed a hand over his chest. “I’m hurt.”

She chuckled. “They’re Jade’s friends more than mine. She’s the one they listen to.”

“Excuses, excuses.”

“So sorry. Want me to beat them up for you?” She lifted her arms into a fighter’s stance and mimed a jab.

Her form was without flaw—as he expected of Jericho Bleu’s daughter—but if it packed no more punch than the one she’d given his arm earlier, he should probably not get any ideas about recruiting her into the Guard along with her cousin.

“Only if I’m there to watch.” He smiled, then let it fade. A few more hours, and they’d know. One way or another, the people would know if he was the king meant to see them through this coming war with the mer…or not.