Page 95 of Avenged By Lov

ME: No. Captain Andrews pulled a few strings and released him with a warning.

ELI: Maybe that will be the wake-up call he needs.

ME: Doubt it, sounds like he banked some serious dough for winning the goddamn race.

ELI: You’re not responsible for his actions, Truck. He’s twenty-two years old.

ME: But he doesn’t have the purpose you and I had. He’s floundering.

ELI: Maybe you think he’s floundering because his goal isn’t one you’d ever make for yourself.

ME: To get arrested? To race in illegal races? That isn’t a fucking goal, that’s a sentence waiting to happen.

ELI: There're ways for him to race legally.

ME: He can’t afford it.

ELI: Sounds like this guy he raced for can.

It took me a moment to register what Eli was saying—that Dawson had made a connection in the expensive, elite boat world who could fund his racing. It was why Dawson had had a smile on his face at the base. He’d proven himself to someone who could change his world, and instead of being a supportive big brother, I’d slammed him down.

ME: Shit. You’re right.

ELI: Again, you act like this is a surprise to you.

I didn’t even have the heart to one-finger him back.

ELI: What happened with Jersey?

ME: What do you think happened?

ELI: But how did you screw it up if it was as good as you say it was?

ME: I let her go because I needed to focus on Dawson. She understood because she’s got Vi to focus on, but hell if I can’t sleep now that she’s gone. Truth is, I don’t want her gone, but I don’t know how to fix Dawson and me at the same time I fix her and me.

ELI: Is she the one?

My instant reflex was yes. God forgive me, choosing between her and Dawson was killing me. The fact she understood what I was doing in choosing him over her almost made it worse. How many people had allowed her to slip away, invisible, without standing up and demanding she come back? I was just another in the long line of assholes who’d hurt her and let her go.

ME: Yes.

ELI: Then pull out your superhero costume and go fight for her.

ME: I don’t have a superhero costume.

ELI: Jesus, it was a metaphor. But you do know that girl is crazy for superheroes, right?

ME: I got the metaphor, asswipe. And that woman deserves more than some fictional shithead who leaves her behind to save Gotham.

ELI: *** falling off chair laughing GIF ***

ELI: Sounds like you already know what to do. What are you waiting for?

I didn’t know what to respond. I wasn’t sure what was holding me back from storming after both my brother and Jersey.

ELI: You don’t believe you deserve her.

He was right and wrong.