Page 4 of Austin’s Answer (Shifter Ranch Mates #4)

FOUR

Austin

My blood pounded, my heart on the verge of bursting.

I pushed my tiger to run faster, ignoring the sharp pain in my side as I cursed myself for not noticing Havoc’s attention had shifted.

The bull was charging straight at Emily, who was calmly holding up a gun.

But I wasn’t sure even a bullet would stop him.

I squeezed as much speed out as possible, but it wouldn’t be enough. I was going to lose Emily before telling her what she was to me. My tiger roared, his pain and anguish coating every sound wave.

I watched as her finger squeezed the trigger. Havoc didn’t even wince at the impact.

But then his steps faltered.

Emily smoothly reloaded the gun and fired again.

He stumbled, knees hitting the ground. He struggled back to his feet, but his movements were sluggish. A few more steps and he was on the ground again.

My tiger wanted to tear him apart for the threat to our mate. I held my animal half in check, slowing as we approached, circling the downed bull, who was fighting whatever Emily had hit him with. But his attempts were useless. His eyes fluttered closed, and his breathing evened out.

“That should knock him out long enough to get him back in the pen.” Emily moved closer, and my tiger immediately put himself between her and the bull, not taking any chances. His tail whipped around, and he rolled his head from side to side.

“Now, let me look at you. Where are you bleeding?” She stepped to our side, her trained eyes surveying the damage done by Havoc’s horns. “Can I touch you?”

My tiger chuffed and gently bumped her with his head. With his mate safe, he was good. I was less so. She’d put herself at risk, and I wanted to tell her never to take chances with her life again. But until I shifted, I couldn’t tell her anything, so I let my tiger have his moment with her.

She ran her hands over my fur, her voice calm as she narrated what she was doing.

The soothing tone worked on my tiger, while her words gave me the opportunity to prepare for the flash of pain as she checked the wound.

My tiger would never knowingly lash out at her, but I didn’t want to take the chance of it happening accidentally.

At the sound of thundering hoofbeats, I turned my head to watch my brothers’ approach.

They reined in their horses a short distance from us and dismounted.

Declan and Gabriel checked on Havoc, while Ethan and Luke headed for Havoc’s pen.

Mason came straight for me, first-aid kit in hand.

We avoided the local hospitals as much as possible, as they weren’t equipped to deal with shifter healing.

“He needs stitches.” Emily threw the words over her shoulder as Mason approached. “Do you have anything I can use to put pressure on the wound?”

Mason whipped off his shirt and handed it to her. “Don’t stitch him up until he shifts back. If you do, he’ll need to stay in tiger form while it heals. Shifting will just rip the stitches out.”

Emily folded the shirt into a square. “Then he should shift now before I slow the bleeding, or he’ll just tear the wound open again.”

I grimaced internally. It wouldn’t be fun shifting with the gash on my side, but she was right.

I rolled my head and let my tiger brush up against Emily one last time before walking a few feet away.

My shift was slower this time, as the edges of my wound stretched and tore.

Pain radiated through my changing body, and my tiger fought me, wanting to get away from it.

But I pushed through and ended up kneeling on the ground, panting as sweat dripped down my forehead.

Emily was by my side in an instant, pressing the shirt against the gash. Mason came to my other side and helped hold me upright as I hissed from the pressure, my words coming out sharp with pain,“We need to reinforce the gate to Havoc’s pen.”

Declan strode over. “Speaking of Havoc, how long will he be out?”

“About an hour, maybe two.” Emily peeked under the T-shirt against my side. “I had to guess his weight, though, so I’d move him soon, just in case.”

“I’ll get the tractor.” Gabriel walked back to the horses. “Do you need your kit or anything?”

“Yes, please. I should monitor him while you move him.” Emily tossed her keys at him. “Back of my SUV. The blue bag.”

“How about this guy?” Mason nodded his head toward me. “Do you want to stitch him up or should I?”

“No hospitals, right?” Her head swiveled between Declan and Mason, who nodded. “I’ll do it. Let me see your first-aid kit.”

I caught her hand. “Em. You don’t need to do this. Mason can stitch me up.”

Her fingers trembled beneath mine, and she drew in a deep breath before looking at me. Our eyes met, hers a mix of jumbled emotions. But I saw the worry in them. She squeezed my hand. “I’ve got this.” Her hands steadied as she cleaned my wound. “Do you have anything to numb the area?”

Mason snorted. “Nah. We don’t bother with that.”

Her lips thinned, and she glared at Mason. “Why? Are you guys too tough? It’s not heroic to get stitches without a local anesthetic. It’s unnecessary.” She turned to me, gaze softening. “This is going to hurt. Try to hold still.”

I focused on Emily’s face, watching her look of concentration, memorizing the way her brows drew in slightly and the way her teeth bit gently into her bottom lip. I could watch her for hours, getting lost in studying her.

It didn’t erase the pain, though. Every stinging pass of the needle through my skin, every tug as she closed the wound, radiated through my body. Mason stayed next to me, steadying me, ensuring I didn’t flinch away from the work Emily was doing.

“There. Twenty-two stitches.” She cleaned the area again and bandaged my side. “Do I need to tell you about aftercare, or does your shifter healing work fast enough it won’t matter?”

“Stitches will probably be ready to come out in a day or two.” Mason sat back on his heels. “We have an ointment back at the house he can apply to the area morning and night for a couple days. Then he should be good as new.”

She shook her head. “Wish all my patients would heal that quick.”

Her eyes traced over my face, almost as if she were committing me to memory the way I had memorized her earlier.

Was she softening toward me? My heart leaped in my chest, but I swallowed back the words that ached to rush out.

Declarations of my love for her that never disappeared in all our years apart.

Now wasn’t the time. Not with my blood covering her hands and Mason holding me up.

Soon.

Determination filled me, and her gaze faltered as it met mine. The corner of my mouth lifted, and I shot her a wink. “Might need some help with that ointment, Em. You game?”

Emily

I took stock of my kit, making notes on my phone of what I needed to replace in it.

I had to pick up more sedatives and darts and additional botulism antitoxin.

There was a little left, but probably only enough for a human.

Not useful if any more horses fell ill. To create space, I removed the items I knew I would use and still need more of, creating a smaller kit, and tossed the antitoxin in.

I would take it to the barn the next time I checked on the horses.

I shut the gate of my SUV and started toward the house. I’d cleaned the blood off my hands in the barn sink, but I was dying for a shower to rid myself of the sweat and dirt coating my skin.

My footsteps slowed as I passed the gallery. Curiosity had me crossing over to peek inside. I shaded my eyes as I peered through the window, but the lights were off and nothing was visible.

“You can see better from inside.”

I spun around, heart thudding in my chest. A tall, slim woman with long black hair stood behind me, amusement dancing in her eyes. She had a sophistication that shouldn’t belong on a ranch, but her energy made it fit. “I didn’t mean to snoop?—”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” She tilted her head at the door. “I was just heading in. Come check it out.”

Her confidence had me following before I had a chance to think about it. She flipped on the lights. “You’re the vet, right? Dr. Miller?”

“Call me Emily…” My voice trailed off when my gaze landed on the first painting. Bold colors splashed across the canvas—an abstract painting that made me feel like I was watching a sunrise over the ranch. “It’s amazing.”

“Gabriel’s latest work.”

I huffed. “Austin mentioned Gabriel painted, but I didn’t realize he meant like this.”

“He’s an exceptional talent.” There was a softness in her voice at odds with her confidence. I looked over to see a gentle smile tugging at her lips. “I came here specifically to find him because of that, but then I learned he’s an even more exceptional man.”

“You and he are together?”

Her smile widened. “We are. Sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Sierra.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Sierra.”

She led me through the gallery, providing the perfect amount of commentary to the experience.

Most of the work was Gabriel’s, but other pieces were mixed in.

Photography, watercolors, acrylics, even pottery and some handmade textiles.

But it was the final piece of Gabriel’s that stopped me in my tracks.

Austin stared back at me from the canvas, but it wasn’t just a regular portrait.

Half of him was dressed as a rodeo clown, like the former bullfighter he was.

That side held the swagger that belonged to the Austin who winked and asked if I’d help apply his ointment.

The flirty, fun, almost brazen persona he showed the world.

The second half was the part of him I always believed I saw when we were teens. Thoughtful, dependable, loyal. The dichotomy of the two halves whirled around in my brain. Both were him, but neither alone was the full picture.

“I don’t understand Austin.” The words spilled out, and I wanted to snatch them back. They were laced with a vulnerability I never showed. Not since I was a teenager.

“I’ll admit I didn’t understand him when I first met him.” Sierra chuckled. “He picked me up at the airport in his cowboy outfit, and I wondered if it was a costume. It took me a while to see past the outer trappings. But he’s got a big heart.”

“I always thought so. Until I didn’t…”

The longer I stared at the portrait, the more confused I was.

When Austin broke my heart, I told myself I’d imagined the more serious side of him.

That he was all cocky bravado. But looking at the portrait Gabriel had painted, I knew that wasn’t true.

It made me wonder why he’d said those words to me back then.

It didn’t fit with the Austin I knew. It never had.

And that had made it hard to move on. How could I let go when it made no sense?

“I thought I knew who he was, once. But he did something so out of character that I can’t reconcile it in my head. In my heart.”

Sierra’s skirt swished as she moved next to me. “Have you asked him about it?”

“He tried to talk to me, but I wouldn’t listen.” Tears pricked at my eyes, and my breath shuddered out. “I’m afraid I’ll get hurt again.”

She was silent for a minute. “Maybe you will. But maybe that’s what you need to move forward.”

“Closure, you mean?”

“Or a new beginning. I don’t know what happened between you two, or why, so I don’t know what the outcome will be.

All I know is what I’ve learned since coming here.

Sometimes we think we know what we need and want in life, but when we open ourselves up to the possibilities, we discover a life worth so much more.

” Sierra crossed over to a beautiful wooden desk in the corner and opened a drawer, pulling something out and coming back to give it to me.

I stared at the small print of Austin’s portrait. Even in this format, his green eyes stared into mine, opening something deep inside me. Another crack in the armor I’d built around my heart.

I couldn’t banish those eyes from my head as I walked back to the house and showered.

And when I napped, knowing I’d be up several times in the night to check on the horses, his eyes were all I remembered of my dreams. Throughout dinner, I avoided looking at Austin, but his gaze on me was like a touch; it was so tangible. And still I saw those eyes.

Despite telling myself for the last eight years that I had too much pride to ask Austin to explain himself, now I knew I needed to. My heart would never let him go without answers.