Page 26 of Aubade Rising

“It’s a terrible idea. Absolutely awful!

You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.

” Haelyn shuts down the plan. She’s incensed, standing in front of the window in my sitting area, the fading sunlight turning her into an avenging angel.

After the Concord meeting, she followed me, espousing the reasons why my expedition trip to the Haag is the worst idea she’s ever heard.

I wasn’t expecting so strong an objection in front of the Concord though.

It took me by surprise when she voiced her concerns, even going so far as to vote against it.

We’ve been arguing all the way back to my room where I found Dervla lounging on my sofa in her travelling cloak. Clearly, she is so desperate for good news on my research that she couldn’t wait, despite not making it in time for the Concord meeting.

“I’m not convinced, but what other choice does she have?” Pensive, and taking her time to digest my idea, Dervla is contemplative. “It does carry some risk; you obviously couldn’t go alone. But if this is the missing piece, then we could have this wrapped up in a matter of weeks.”

Haelyn is not deterred. “It’s not worth it. The Haag is dangerous and you’ll get lost in the mists. There’s no food or water. It’s not completely uninhabited – who knows what’s lurking there.” She is full of conviction and desperately looking to Dervla for support.

“What do you mean it’s not uninhabited?” Dervla asks sharply, fixing Haelyn with an acidic stare.

“Well, they’re rumours from growing up in Tanwen.” She deflates, flopping to the sofa beside me. “Sometimes bounty miners braved the mists in the hope of digging up treasure. Not just serpentine, mind you. Rare stones… precious gems, but those that came back were changed, different.”

The room is silent. Dervla and I sit, heavy with anticipation, waiting for her.

“They talked of being stalked, herded deeper into the moorland, of eerie noises in the fog and things mysteriously being lost or going wrong. None could ever describe what human or animal they thought they’d encountered but they all had similar stories. ”

A slow crawl of goosebumps develops up my arms, an icy breeze brushing past.

“Ridiculous. Superstitious nonsense, then; stories to keep children in line and well behaved.” Dervla regains her confidence and Haelyn’s concern has swayed her in the opposite direction.

“I’m telling you, there’s something out there,” Haelyn pleads, capturing my gaze, eyes full of worry.

“Anyway, the decision has been made.” Dervla turns to me haughtily, “and don’t think I’m not annoyed about that either, Sage.

You could have waited until my return to petition the Concord.

” The dressing down is gentle compared to what I expected.

I knew this would be breaking her trust in me a little but I don’t need her approval for every decision.

She gave me more autonomy when I was working in Athnavar and this project means as much to me as it does to her.

It was a calculated gamble to raise my proposal at the Concord and risky without speaking to Dervla or the King first. I thought about it at length, and given how nothing ever gets decided by vote if the King brings it to the table, I wondered what would happen if I brought something up unprompted.

I was sure it would also help that no one is interested in the proclivities of the eccentric King’s Alchemist.

My gamble paid off. It turns out the Concord’s dislike of me sitting at their table outweighs their need to vote conflictingly. I’m well aware the majority of them voted in favour of my expedition in the hope I wouldn’t return.

The King, however, is unlikely to forgive me as easily as Dervla. His anger simmered at the surface at being caught unawares and his green eyes raged with a vicious stare throughout my proposal. I think my refusal to baulk at his displeasure also won me a few votes.

Dervla is staring me down expectantly, as if she anticipates an apology.

It might have been her initial idea but this project has taken over the last few years of my life.

While the King and Concord don’t understand the true purpose of my research, she does and that’s why I had to make a move without her.

No one else in the room would obstruct my expedition on the grounds of keeping me safe and I’ve seen her work the room a little too well.

If she wanted me to stay, she would have got her way.

“I needed to do this on my own,” I shrug. I don’t owe her any more of an explanation.

Later that week, a tentative knock at my door interrupts my pathetic attempts at packing. I shout for them to come in as I survey the disarray across my suite of rooms. Haelyn sticks her head round the door and, seeing I’m alone, picks her way through the mess and perches on the arm of the sofa.

“Look, I’m not going to try to persuade you not to go.

I can tell you’re set on leaving, despite my reservations.

I didn’t know when I volunteered to help you that it would put you in danger.

” A rueful smile spreads over her face and she appears older.

“But I want to give you some advice about Tanwen and the people who live there.”

I stop what I’m doing and put down the heavy winter overcoat I’d been deliberating on.

Bringing up Tanwen gives her face a painful twist. Her hands are clenched in her lap, fingernails bitten to the quick.

Whatever she has to say, it’s more important than the pain she’s reliving from bringing it up.

“It’s a brutal place to live; the forests are unforgiving and those that thrive there… well, they do not operate on the same code the rest of us do. Everyone has one priority: to survive in the wilderness.”

I grow uncomfortable at the thought of her and other children, having to endure such a place.

“You can’t trust anyone; their price for selling you out to others will not be as high as you think.

” She sees my look of confusion at the term and laughs hollowly.

“Oh, they may appear friendly, or even disinterested on the surface, but there’ll be another game afoot that is designed to trap you down the line.

They will tell you misinformation and lie in wait to rob you.

People don’t get caught, because no witnesses are ever left alive.

I was lucky to get out, but I can never go back and, if you upset anyone there, neither will you. ”

What must it have been like, to grow up in such a lawless community, closed off from the rest of the kingdom, remote and lacking the protections and civility found elsewhere?

Knowing the setbacks she faced whilst growing up far exceed anything I dealt with, I marvel at Haelyn’s rise to King’s Archivist.

This conversation has drained her; her face is unusually pale and there are dark smudges under her eyes.

“Don’t linger – get to the Haag as soon as you can.

You’ll be safer there, despite what is lurking in the mists.

Take this with you.” Having relieved her conscience, she hands me a book.

It’s heavy and old, pages crumbling at its well-thumbed edges.

On closer study I recognise it from our conversation in the palace library. It’s the book on attitudes.

Suitably warned, I ruminate on Haelyn’s words late into the night, opting to pack an extra dagger despite being clueless about how to use it.