Page 28 of Atlas (The Chaos Demons MC #6)

The spirit fills my mouth and I almost gag before swallowing it down and wincing. “That’s gross,” I cry, coughing and trying to wipe my tongue with my fingers.

The women laugh, and eventually, I do too. It feels nice, so I take the bottle and down another mouthful. “In for a penny,” I say, and they laugh again.

Anita

The laughter from around the firepit grows louder. The old ladies are getting rowdy, their drunken laughter ringing out in the quiet of the evening air. I glance their way, watching the way Rue seems to have slotted right in.

Tessa nudges me gently with her shoulder. “She’s actually really nice,” she says. I hum in response. “I mean it. A little quiet. Shy, even. But she’s warming to us.”

“The perfect fit,” I murmur. Bitterness scratches at my throat before I can swallow it down.

Tessa tilts her head. “What happened with you and Atlas?” she asks, voice soft but probing. “Kasey said you two almost slept together?”

My groan is instinctive, and I drop my head into my hands like I can hide from it. From me.

“I’m a cow,” I say bluntly. “I tried it on with him. And the second he hesitated, I mean the second , I practically started stripping. If Tom hadn’t shown up . . .” I let the rest hang. We both know how it would’ve ended.

Tessa’s eyes go wide. “Why?”

I think about it then shrug like I didn’t just feel my chest tighten. “Habit?”

She doesn’t speak for a moment, then says, “Rue walked away. He told her everything, and she dumped him.”

I glance towards the far wall. Atlas is sitting there with a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers, his eyes locked on Rue like she’s the only real thing in the world. My stomach twists.

“I know,” I murmur. “I don’t even know why I did it. Jealousy, maybe. Or,” my voice catches, “I just needed to feel wanted, Tess. Since Atlas, it’s like I’ve been freefalling. And I know that was my choice. I walked away. But that doesn’t make it any easier.”

Tessa’s quiet for a moment before she says, “You can’t keep reeling him back in, Nita. Not if he’s not your forever.”

I nod, slowly. “The worst part?” I say, voice low. “He regretted it. Instantly. I could see it. He didn’t even want me. Not really. He just . . . I don’t know. We’ve always had this thing where we fall back into each other. Like muscle memory. Familiar and stupid.”

“I think Rue made him happy,” Tessa says gently.

“I know,” I whisper. “I shouldn’t have gotten involved.”

“Maybe you could speak to her?” she suggests, cautious but sincere.

I let out a laugh, sharp and humourless, then realise she’s not joking. “Tess. I can’t.”

“Why not? You could explain, tell her it wasn’t about him. Tell her you’re done.”

My mouth opens, then closes. The truth is, I don’t know what I’d even say. Or if I am done.

Tessa gives me that look, the one that says she sees more than I want her to, and nudges my arm again, this time firmer.

“You owe her that much,” she says gently.

I swallow hard and nod, even though every part of me wants to walk in the opposite direction. But I rise, smoothing down my skirt like that’ll help, and start heading towards the fire pit.

Rue’s on the far side, perched on the edge of a seat with her knees tucked together and her fingers wrapped around a glass. She looks like she’s trying to disappear, but there’s a quiet strength in her stillness. Atlas is still watching her. I don’t think she’s even noticed.

She looks up as I approach.

Her expression doesn’t shift. Not surprised, not polite . . . just neutral.

“Hey,” I say, my voice quieter than I intended.

She doesn’t answer, but she doesn’t walk away either. I take it as a sign and sit down slowly, leaving space between us.

“I’m not good at this,” I admit. She sips her drink, eyes fixed forward, but she remains silent. “I didn’t come to excuse myself. I just . . . I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

She still doesn’t glance my way, but then asks, “Sorry for kissing him, or sorry I found out?”

I sigh. “Both. But mostly for hurting you. You didn’t deserve that.”

She turns her head now, eyes finally meeting mine. There’s a flicker of emotion, not rage, not hate, just quiet disappointment.

I press on. “It wasn’t about him , not really. Not in the way you think. I didn’t try to take him from you. I just, I was lonely, and stupid, and hurting. I needed to feel like someone still saw me.”

“That’s not a reason,” she says. “That’s an excuse.”

I nod, because she’s right. “Yeah. It is.”

She lets out a long breath, then finally sets her drink down. “Did you sleep with him?”

“No. Tom walked in before we . . . before it got that far.”

She nods once. “So, you would’ve done it if you weren’t interrupted?”

I wince, glancing to where Atlas is sitting and noticing he’s rigid now, his eyes burning into me. “Maybe.”

“Maybe, or yes?” she demands, and I realise she’s not the shy, quiet nerd I thought, but she’s got a fire inside of her, especially for Atlas.

“Whatever we had, it’s done.”

“Funny, he said the same.”

“Exactly, because it’s true.”

“It doesn’t matter now, the damage is done. I’m not sticking around so he can hurt me over and over.”

My heart twists. “Atlas isn’t like that,” I say with sincerity. “I know it must seem like that to you, but he’s the most genuine and honest guy you’ll ever meet. And he messed up, we both did, but you have to understand, there’s a history there for us.”

“I don’t have to understand,” she snaps. “I don’t care.”

“If you walk away over this, you’re making a huge mistake.”

She scoffs. “Tell me, why didn’t you two work out? If he’s so great, why aren’t you with him?”

“It’s complicated.”

She pushes to her feet, wobbling unsteadily. “You love him, and he loves you. Stop trying to kid yourselves and just get back together.” She stomps off towards the clubhouse.