Page 21

CHAPTER

TWENTY-ONE

Fable

Between my uncontrollable need for Jett and my grandfather’s letter, I find myself in the only place I can think.

The west rink.

Yellowcard’s “Ocean Avenue” blares through my speaker as I skate with no cares about what I should be doing.

I probably should have gone home to pack. I’d told Kitty I was going to do that once I talked to Jett. I knew he wouldn’t mind me moving in to one of the free apartments, but I hadn’t expected him to be quite so agreeable. I thought I’d have to talk him into it like I’ve been doing with everything lately. He proved me wrong, though, and instantly agreed.

He knows how awful my mom can be, but what really bothers me is how concerned he was with what my parents want. He was upset, but it felt like he was used to it, which makes no sense to me. Have they told him to stay away from me? I wouldn’t put it past them, and I’m not a fan of how that makes me feel.

Honestly, it’s not a surprise that he wanted to help me get away from her.

But it is surprising how close he came to kissing me again. I move my hand up to my jaw, to my lip, rubbing the spot where his thumb was. Just like his palm, the pad of his finger was warm against my skin, and I welcomed the touch. So much so, I can’t help the smile that pulls at my lips. God, I wanted him to kiss me. So badly, even if it scares the living hell out of me. It’s disheartening that we’ve been interrupted twice now, but maybe that’s because it’s supposed to be some epic kiss.

Maybe after we skate…together…for Kitty.

Instead of a kiss on my nose, I’ll be rewarded with the lips I crave so badly.

Can I wait that long?

I want it, but I’m scared of it.

Why am I the way I am?

As I skate backward, I feel like sobbing, and I don’t know why. Is it the letter and how genuine it was? How I want nothing more than to ease Kitty’s soul once more. Take away the pain I know she is feeling at the loss of the love of her life. I’m not saying that Jett is the love of my life, but it hurt when he walked away. It broke a part of me that I don’t think ever fully mended.

Jett.

What am I doing? I am so caught up in these feelings I haven’t felt before that I’m not seeing the bigger picture. I will be leaving in a year; everyone knows it. I’ll be the one walking away from him if I allow something to start between us. I don’t want him to feel that kind of pain. It was torture, the what-ifs, the why wasn’t I enough? But then, would I walk away?

What if I stayed here with him and we built a life? We could run the Ice Thistle together and… And, what? Would he want me until he doesn’t? Until I’m too much and it’s more of a hassle to deal with me than to be with me? What if all these feelings really are a fluke and I can’t give him what he needs?

Jett is a Grade A man. He exudes sex and probably knows how to bring a woman to orgasm without even touching her. He wouldn’t be okay with a pump and dump once a month. No, not with the way he looks at me. I’m pretty sure he’ll want me on my back more than standing, and it’d feel wrong to go there with him but not be there with him. I want so badly to believe that I would be present, but could I? I stop skating as my gut warms and my clit throbs. It’s as if she’s trying to tell me that she isn’t broken. That she wants him.

But can I trust her?

I’m a thirty-eight-year-old woman, and I feel like I don’t even know myself right now. Is this part of my impostor syndrome? Does he exude so much sex that I want to do the same? For him?

Why am I overthinking this?

I cover my face with my hands when the tears burn in my eyes. I inhale deeply as my heart pounds in my chest, and the confusing feelings overwhelm me. This is why I didn’t want to come home. I feel entirely too much here. I care too much about the Ice Thistle, about getting the community to like me. I work so hard to make sure the girls I teach are getting everything they want from the experience. I spend time with Kitty, even if it’s only to sit beside her and hand her thread. I go to games because she wants me there when I’d rather be in my blanket burrito. I move forward, and I want so badly for all these feelings, even the dirty ones, to be real.

Because I care so much for Jett, and it terrifies me to let him down.

I don’t mean just on the sex part—that’s a whole clusterfuck in and of itself. I mean in general. I am here to make the Ice Thistle even better. But what if I can’t? I know he wants to skate with me because it will make Kitty happy, but what if it’s too much on him? What if I’m asking for more than I should? He owes me nothing, but he seems to be present at every turn, wanting to be there for me.

It’s all just so much.

It isn’t until a pair of arms wraps around me that I realize I’m not alone. I jump as I lift my face from my hands, my eyes meeting Jett’s kind brown ones. His brows pull in as he swipes his thumbs along my cheeks, wiping away all the tears I hadn’t realized had fallen. He then wraps his arms around me even tighter, my body going flush to his and my face burrowing into his chest. Oh God, I missed his hugs. He leans his chin on my head, and my eyes drift shut as everything settles.

My thoughts never really stop, but in his arms, I can just be without them taking over.

Jett presses a soft kiss to the crown of my head, and then against my hair, he whispers, “I’ve got you.”

I almost come undone in his arms. I cling to him as I nuzzle my nose into his neck, and the moan that comes from the back of his throat has me burning from head to toe. His thumbs rub circles along my hips as he holds me, and I’ve never felt so safe in my life. His scent intoxicates me as I inhale him greedily, needing it to steady me.

And he holds me.

For what seems like forever, when really, it’s only a minute or two. When I feel somewhat steady, I pull back to look up at him, and his eyes are filled with apprehension. “Tell me what’s going on in that head, princess.”

My lip quivers as I clench my fingers in the front of his hoodie, still needing his support. My voice is rough as I admit, “Inside is a storm. I just can’t let it out.”

I don’t want to unload on him. It’s all too much, and I refuse to let anyone else carry my burdens. His eyes darken as he gathers me closer. “Let it out, princess. I’ll weather it with you.”

A sob rips from my throat as my heart skips at his words, and our eyes stay locked. No one has ever reacted that way to my saying, but I should have known that Jett would. “It’s a lot.”

“I can handle it.” He squeezes my chin. “I can handle you.”

Tears spill over my cheeks again, and I can’t look away. A blush fills his cheeks like he hadn’t meant to throw those words out there, but they are in the air now, and they’re mine.

I never want to let them go. Let him go. But is that a reality for us?

I don’t know, but I unload all my thoughts—about the community and my parents. He listens intently, his eyes never wavering and his lips pressed firmly together. When I finish, I let out a long breath, and he nods. “I told you I’d go with you to the meetings. It’ll make people more open to what you’re selling if they see us as a team.”

“I don’t want to bother you with it,” I admit, still clinging to him. “You don’t want to do any of this stuff, and I wanted to do it on my own.”

“But you’re not alone,” he tells me, holding my gaze. “We’re partners, right?”

I chew on the inside of my cheek, running my fingers along the stitching of his hoodie’s pocket. “We are.”

“I’ve let you down, and I’m sorry. I want to do this with you.”

I look up at him through my lashes. “Only because you want to kiss me.”

His chuckle is low, dark as he gathers me closer. “I want to do more than kiss you, princess,” he says in the same rough manner as his chuckle. The words burn through me like a wildfire, and I don’t want to put out the flames. “But that’s not the reason I want to do this with you.”

“Then why?”

“Because we work great together. I had to swallow my pride to realize that and listen to my mentor from heaven. Now that I have, I want this to work.” He exhales a long breath. “Phillip was right to get you to stay here. I’m fighting you at every turn, the town is being…the town, and you’re still pulling in kids and selling ad space. I was wrong.”

I press my lips together as my pride overflows. “I don’t want to let you down.”

“You’re not.”

His words are so solid, like a promise. “Now, your parents… Shit, I don’t know. They are a piece of work, but with you moving out, I know it’ll help.”

“I don’t want to be near them.”

“Then don’t. That’s your choice, no one else’s.”

I meet his gaze again. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“You acted as if you were used to my mom treating you that way. I know she was always stuck-up, but did they tell you to stay away from me?”

His lips quirk up, but I see so much pain in his eyes. “Every day.”

I blink, my heart breaking in my chest. “Why? Why would they do that?”

“Because they never thought I was good enough for you.” A lump forms in my throat, and he looks away. I watch as his jaw goes tight, his expression so sad it makes my stomach hurt. Before I can contradict their statements or ask if he felt something for me then, he says, “I don’t want to talk about them. Do you want to skate for Kitty?”

I nod without hesitation. “Yes.”

“Then let’s skate for her.”

The confidence in his eyes makes me feel high. “We’re twenty years older, and I’ve gained weight.”

“So have I,” he says with a shrug. “It won’t be easy, but if anyone can do it, it’s us.”

“Can you even do the skills still?”

“I’m sure I can. I’ve fooled around on my hockey skates, but like you said, muscle memory.” I press my lips together, not confident in this, in our ability to make this happen. Too much time has passed, and we only have three months until Kitty’s birthday. Unaware of my inner thoughts, Jett shrugs. “I’ve got my skates,” he says, hooking his thumb behind us. He doesn’t move, though. Instead, he asks, “Do you want me to get them on, or do you want me to keep holding you?”

My heart melts as I hold his gaze. I don’t want him to let me go, but I also want to see if this is even doable. “While I am enjoying being wrapped up in Jett Thomas Cook’s arms, I want you to get those skates.”

His lips curve up in the most devastating way. “I love how you say my name.” He leans in, his lips right against my nose as he whispers, “I bet it’d sound better if you moaned it.” My face instantly heats, and his grin grows even bigger. “Fucking adorable.”

I push him away. “Stop messing with me. Go.”

He walks backward for a bit before he says, “Who says I’m messing around?”

“Jett,” I complain, and he winks.

“A little louder and breathier.”

His eyes are wicked as I roll mine, but meanwhile, in my leggings, there is a party going on. I’m hotter than hot yoga, and my clit is throbbing with need. I blow out a breath, wondering if I can give in to my temptation. But the fear of the unknown paralyzes me. Ignoring my inner turmoil, I watch as he walks toward the bench, not slipping at all on the ice. When he sits to put on his skates, I start to skate again so that my legs don’t get cold. He stands and makes a face before looking over at me. A sheepish look covers his features as he heads for the doors leading to the ice. “I should have thrown these on monthly.”

I smile at how unsure he looks. It’s not an emotion that Jett wears. He is a very confident man, and even when we were younger, he wore the skates like he was born to. He also had younger hips and less breakable bones, so I get it. He comes onto the ice, and when he pushes off, he looks exactly as I remember. All stealthy and graceful. Or so I thought, because on my next breath, he must feel off-kilter cause his arms go wild around him as he shifts his feet to gain his balance.

When he stills, his eyes cut to mine, and I’m grinning. “Toe pick.”

His eyes flash with warning, and I’m bubbling with laughter.

Then he’s chasing me.

My laughter fills the rink as he gains on me with ease, catching me around the waist and pulling me back into him. His hand comes to my hip, kneading the flesh there before his other threads with the fingers on my free hand. I feel his heart pounding, letting me know it’s beating as hard as mine is. I take a shaky breath, trusting my partner before I lean back into him. His hand tightens at my waist, and together, we skate as one.

Just like we used to.

He leans his chin against my temple, and I can’t help but smile as our feet move in sync with each other.

Is this just muscle memory?

Or more?