Page 60 of Assassin Anonymous

“Hey…”

“What?”

“…I killed a lot of white people, too.”

As soon as I say it, I realize it was a stupid thing to say. She puts her hands on her face, takes a few breaths in and out. I join her: in for four, hold for four, out for four, empty lungs for four. It’s a little funny, how just a few years ago, this showdown could have played out very differently. I want to laugh, point that out to puncture the tension, but I don’t think she’s at the laughing stage yet.

“I always wondered,” she says. “The hit was too clean. Now I know, at least.”

“So we don’t have to fight this out?”

“No, you dope. I can be angry and upset and still forgive you. That’s the whole point of this program.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. And sorry about the cartel thing. I was stereotyping.”

She sits heavily on the bed. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“I think Kenji sold me out.”

Her face drops. She blinks a few times. “That doesn’t sound right.”

I give her a rundown of everything that happened in the past few days: the Russian, why I’m with Astrid, our trip to Singapore, the Agency on high alert and threatening to send Azrael after me, Gaius, and the connection to Kenji. She takes it all in with a stone face, slowly nodding along at points where I guess she has a sense of what’s going on. When I’m done, we hang there in a long stretch of silence, sorting through the puzzle pieces.

Valencia purses her lips, then blows out a burst of frustrated air. “I’ve heard of Azrael. None of what I’ve heard is good.”

“Haven’t had the pleasure. For all they know, I’m at full speed, so it’s a nuclear option. The longer this plays out, the more I figure it’s a matter of time before our paths cross.”

“And you really think Kenji is involved?” she asks.

“That’s why I came here without calling, in case you decided to check with him. Up until recently, he was the only one who knew my real identity, and that I’m handicapped with this goddamn program.”

“This goddamn program is saving your life, and mine, and countless others.”

“Right, but my life would be a whole lot easier if I could just cut loose and let this play out the way—”

“Stop right there,” she says, standing up and sticking a finger in my chest. “I get where you’re at, but you’re trying to give yourself permission to erase an entire year of progress.”

“Would it be so bad to clear the deck this one time so I can live in peace? It’s only a year. I can get back to counting days…”

“What’s the point of stopping, then? Just kill someone whenever you have a problem. Next guy who cuts you in line at the bank, snap his neck.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“All we have is all we have,” she says slowly, making sure to enunciate each word. “No more of that, okay? It’s not good for you to hear, and it’s not good for me to hear, either.” She puts her hands on her hips and arches her back to stretch it. “What do we do now?”

“Check with Booker and Stuart. See if they know anything.”

“Booker lives on Staten Island,” she says. “Stuart lives in Astoria.”

“I’d rather we handle this analog. No calls, no email, no texts, no trail. Do you know where Booker lives, exactly?”

“Yeah, we’re in a bowling league together.”

“You two are in a bowling league?”

She laughs a little. “He sucks. Don’t say anything. He’ll get upset.”

“Okay, how about this,” I tell her. “Can you go find him? I’ll see if I can find Stuart. I’d like to see if he has anything useful to share, but when the time comes, I’d rather go at this with you and Book.”