Page 55 of Ashes

The setup is a little different this time.

We’re supposed to do our task in a special room with mirrors and cameras so that every single person in the audience can see what we’re doing. In detail.

I have no idea how I feel about that.

My pulse speeds up when the man with the box approaches me.

I pull out an envelope.

At least this time, we’ll have enough time to prepare.

I open the envelope, swallowing hard.

My eyes go wide.

No.

I blink, but the words don’t change.

Nausea rises at the back of my throat.

I can’t.

I can’t do it.

I don’t want to.

Panic grips my insides and I jump to my feet. I feel Victor’s gaze on me, but I can’t talk to him right now.

I’m completely overwhelmed as I race to the bathroom.

We’re going to fail, and all because of me.

Once again, it’s all going to be my fault.

I rush to the sinks, tears filling the corners of my eyes, and then I bury my teeth into my arm.

Why do I always fail?

Why does this always have to happen?

Why does it always have to be my fault?

It’s like I can’t do anything right.

The door opens.

I lift my gaze to the mirror.

Victor.

I turn to face him.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, and his eyes land on my arm. “What happened?”

“Nothing. It was an accident,” I say automatically.

“What?” His brow furrows. “How do you accidentally sink your teeth into your arm?”