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Carver breaks into the supply den thirty-two minutes later. It took the last of my food and a charge from Catalyst. The rocky cavern lights up when he stumbles to a stop. Carver’s body whirs slower until he’s still again. He’s red hot and paces away from us to cool down.

Mace, Karambit, and Brunt check the area as medic unit Atox leads the crews in with the dark Titans, who need more than a jumpstart. Esthi and I survey the crates for useful parts and start calling out what we’ve found.

“Rations packs in this alcove. Looks like enough for everyone to get one,” I say.

“Titan?” Karambit asks as he peeks around the corner.

“Solcrue.”

He sticks out his tongue in disgust. “Dirt tastes better.”

“I’m happy to take your pack,” Brunt remarks. “I’m starving.”

Karambit snatches one up. “Fuck that. These crusty worm cakes are mine.”

I grab a crate and hand them out, being sure to save one for myself and Esthi when she calls to me.

“Armor over here.”

“One second.” I find a large bag of medical supplies and cart it to Atox.

She slaps her forehead. “I mean, there’s Solcrue armor and what looks like CSP battle uniforms here.”

“Oh.”

“But I do want you for a moment.”

Karambit whistles suggestively, catching the attention of the other Brothers. I cannot stop my wings from twitching in embarrassment. They all know Esthi is mine. I made sure to tell them her name, title, and a few other details, even if I did not give them the full download.

I follow Esthi into a private corner of the cavern. Behind me, Brothers dig into their meal packs, help patch each other up, and talk verbally about their time in the mud. Humans wouldn’t talk much. They’d still be processing the trauma. Titans are different.

It is programmed into us to move forward and not let trauma control us if we still have our parts. We assess current problems, like residual dirt in gears, and our remaining assets. We think about the next task.

I long for conversation, but deep-rooted guilt won’t let me join them, so I find Esthi in the back room.

When Esthi turns to me, she is in tears. I open my wings and shield her from the Brothers. Perhaps she is not as strong as I thought. But it is easy for Titans to shut off when we do not want to deal with the truth. Humans do not have this luxury.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She paces the small area I’ve isolated us in and then slumps on a boulder. “Can I be honest?”

“Please.”

Esthi hugs herself. “For most of my life, I have been in confined spaces, like the mines or ships. This doesn’t bother me.

I’ve always worked quietly from the shadows.

But I set this plan in motion, and I had no idea what I was really causing.

I released the women weeks ago from both Marst and Vessna .

Corenge was too far away to hack remotely.

And it’s filled with solely military Solcrue.

That’s not something I’m quite ready to tackle.

Pretty sure they’d squish me like a bug. ”

I’m confused. “You released the women, but you’re not happy about that? They are free. Clover says they are on our BlazeStar.”

“A lot of the women didn’t make it.” Esthi covers her mouth. “I did it to help them and give me a chance to free my sister, but she’s been turned into a pilot for Solcruean ships.” She inhales sharply and holds her hands out like she’s laying everything out before her.

“Then I crash here and find you and can’t help all of your Brothers. I dropped my cover, came into the open on Marst , and it’s just been death and destruction since.

“I’m exhausted. I’ve given away most of my most precious supplies, which is suicide without a plan to acquire more. I just feel like I’m at the end of what I can do for you and your Brothers. I’m a shadow worker. This is not in my skill set.”

I think she needs more than a simple solution . Esthi was trained for recon and action but from the sidelines, not while being shot at and pressured to help a squadron of Titans all by herself with the threat of mutant wolves on her tail.

Spreading my anchor feathers, I bite them into the rock, then reach back and disconnect myself from my wings, leaving them as a shield, giving us privacy and making me free to move around inside of it.

Esthi looks up as I walk to her. I want to comfort her, but I am hesitant after letting my Brothers down.

I think I know why she is upset. I gather her in my arms and sit on a rocky slab previous Titans appeared to use as a workbench by the scrapes and metal shavings.

But it doesn’t bother me. Settling Esthi into my lap, I curl myself around her so that she feels safe. At least, that’s my intent.

“It’s a lot of pressure to have others rely on you. I know. I also know what failure feels like.”

“What’s that?”

“Five years of slowly dying in mud.”

Her beautiful brows quirk with confusion.

I motion in the direction of the sky. “Our squadron, Seraph Bravo, ejected from our BlazeStar to confront Galethian Fleet of the Solcrue’s outer rim forces.

We are a quarter of the force we were then.

Most of my Brothers were decommissioned as we attempted to take Gilese Haven, which had Omega Force POWs onboard. ”

“Humans.”

“Correct. Seraph Charlie was the first to fall. Haven set off a mass EMP, causing Brothers to drift out into space like deadweight as they rebooted. Easy pickings for a gunner. Seraph Alpha made it on board with Delta after Scalpel cut into the hull and removed the EMP generator.”

“You’re replaying this as you tell me, aren’t you?” she asks. “I can see it in your eyes.”

I blink the image away and focus on her again.

“Yes. Everything is recorded. The ship turned into a mass battle, and we were called to assist. But CP-549, our pilot, the one a human has renamed Clover, was taking damaging hits. So Commander Fenrir decided we would protect Mother and CP-549. But Haven’s forces did something we didn’t expect. ”

Esthi studies me as I restart the memory.

“They retreated from their own ship. Haven’s fighters and escape pods flooded the sky, firing at us.

I blocked a Gravion weapon from hitting Mother and CP, but it knocked out my shield generator.

” I motion to the dark badge on the right side of my chest. It feels like a cold lead weight instead of the hot life-preserving energy it once was.

“I didn’t know it would do that. I thought I would die. ”

“But you didn’t.”

“I also couldn’t protect the core of the squadron from munitions. My job was to move with the critical assets, either protecting the infiltration crew or the injured. I tried to do it the old-fashioned way before I had the shield. But–”

The memory of struggling to put my body in the way of every missile and bullet and the frantic pace I operated at tenses my back muscles even now.

“What happened?”

“I burned up my rocket boots, and Gilese Haven detonated. They took out Alpha and Delta squadrons and severely damaged the BlazeStar and our Bravo squadron enough that we got caught in Ellipsis’s gravity and couldn’t get free.”

“That’s how you ended up in the mud?”

I sigh deeply and close the replay in my mind. “All I’m saying is that even when we try our best, sometimes defeat is inevitable because it’s beyond our control. But if we live through it, we will try again.”

I hesitantly wipe a tear from her cheek.

“You have done a lot for us already. You are the reason human sisters and Titan Brothers are free. I am sorry about your sister. But you tried. And taking anything from Solcrue is a difficult task. Clover wants us back on the BlazeStar. But if we get the intel and an opportunity, we will help you save your sister.”

She sniffles and smoothes the flyaway strands of her hair back with her ponytail.

“Why such an old ship? I mean, most BlazeStars haven’t been in battle for a decade or more. Everyone on the coms thought it was a StarStream Heavy.”

“That’s because most were destroyed. Clover is a unique pilot. She is like Poppy, another 500 series pilot. They brought humans here from the Sol system. I’m not surprised they’re both still in operation. I’m certain that’s why our ship has lasted as long as it has.

“Clover knew tricks to stabilize systems when they’re down and maneuvers when it seemed there was no way out.

I think it’s why Fenrir decided to protect her instead of staying on the rescue mission.

It was built for Omega Force, then converted for BloodCyphers and Wrecktanks and eventually Relics while designers moved on to new ships for Rogues and CyberGuards. ”

She runs a finger over the darkened shield generation symbol on my right pec.

Her delicate touch sends a shiver through me.

“Do you ever feel left behind by us? We made new models that we hoped were better . But I know that being pushed aside for someone stronger doesn’t feel great. Myria was the best at everything.”

The remarks stings a little. “Rogues are better for a lot of things, but they were designed with different purposes. They are not as good at Terran battle or even confrontations inside of ships. They excel in space, but that is not the only place we must fight.”

“What about CyberGuards?”

“Built to protect what’s left of humanity. If we need to take down a ship, we send a small unit like Mace in to Spike Out and shred what Cyberguards can’t reach. They were built to be bodyguards, mostly. Why?”

She rubs her mouth with a hand and shakes her head.

“My sister. They’ve got her stuck in this high-tech armor.

She’s flying ships for the enemy. I always wanted to be like her in the heart of action, but I knew I wasn’t that type of person.

And now that I’ve broken that barrier, I feel like I should’ve done it much sooner.

Maybe she wouldn’t be serving Solcrue and contributing to our demise.

“She didn’t even recognize me. If I can’t save my own sister, if I can’t find her in there somewhere, then I’m not sure of what use I can be to the rebellion or anyone else.”

“You have already helped rescue my squadron.”

When she shakes her head and looks away, I know she’s denying it because she’s stuck in some psychological feedback loop, where she doesn’t want to believe she’s capable of helping because she’s spent so long being unable to.

I lift her chin with a finger until she meets my gaze. I want to be sure she knows I’m serious. “Take this chance, Esthi. It feels like chaos to us, too. But we’ll get through it together. Just like you said.”

“Or we’ll die together. That seems more likely.”

“But we do it together . We’re all scared.”

“Even Karambit and Mace?”

“Definitely them. Most humans believe we don’t have feelings, but we do. Yours are biochemical patterns in your brain. Ours just manifest with programming and electrochemical processes.”

“What are you feeling right now?”

I brace my hands on her hips and do my best to shrug off the desire to be dirty. I don’t think that’s what Esthi needs right now, even if having her against me drives me crazy with a burning desire to have her shield me from the universe with her tender heat.

“My Brothers are free because of you. You’ve done what I could not.

You protected them from experiencing the Black Death permanently.

There were fifty of us. Every squadron had twelve squads, a commander, and an XO, an executive officer who functioned as the second in command.

But Haven’s detonation took six of us before Ellipsis’ gravity took hold.

If I would have had my shield, we’d all be here.

Without you, none of us would be in this den. ”

“But you saved the BlazeStar that’s protecting hundreds again.”

She has a point, but I still can’t seem to shake the burden of my broken parts and run a finger over my dark shield badge.

Esthi gets up and takes a closer look. Her warm breath falls over my synthflesh in tantalizing feathers. Her fingers scour my chest, my abs, my back, all while she studies me like she’s looking for a port.

Someone bangs on a wing, sending a thumping noise into our corner. “You two done in there? We need to talk.”

Esthi returns to my front. “I can fix this, but I need a chance to open you up.”

I want my shield back more than anything. “Okay. But I need to speak with Atox first.”

“Sure.” Esthi sits back on her boulder.

I hate that she looks so sad. I think working keeps her mind off of other things. She needs something else to think about.

Lifting her chin with a finger, I summon her attention. “You don’t know how much your actions mean to me. I need you with me. Can you hold on for me?”

Esthi draws in a deep breath. “You’re the best thing I’ve had in my life in a long time. I’m just transitioning out of my experience area and into new territory.”

“You and me both.” I kiss her deeply, exploring her velvety tongue and desperately trying to memorize the taste of her. There’s no telling how the escape from Ellipsis will go. But I’m going to do everything I can to hold onto her forever.