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fifty-three

. . .

He sat in the middle of his studio. It was in its final stages, dimly lit and partially functional. Eden could take away almost all of his cares, but she couldn’t heal the one wound inflicted by someone else.

On a loop, he listened to his own voice speak things he couldn’t lock inside. “You keep fuckin’ tauntin’ me. Hissin’ from your grave. You a snake disguised as a brother. You a snake that plotted against our mother. Same demons, and you let them win. A family cursed from the start.”

He slid his hand over his face, attempting to rid it of the hot tears that flowed.

The constant aching in his shoulder, in his heart, in his chest, a reminder.

Augustus broke his heart. Maximus’ head dropped, and it shook from side to side.

He couldn’t speak the words, not on the rest of the track or to himself.

As if Eden had a bell on her, the subtle scent of her body was detected the second she slipped through the door. He looked at her, eyes so sad they beckoned her to him. Eden kneeled in front of him, reaching out to hold his face.

“Say it,” she urged. She felt the burn in her throat, the pain in her chest, the sting of tears in her eyes. And that heaviness. Chest crushing. “It’s just us. No one can hear you, and no one will say a word. You’re safe here. I promise.”

“He,” Maximus croaked. “He fuckin’ broke my heart, E. Long before the meet up. From kids. To have a brother. He was supposed to look out for me. Protect me. Not be the motherfucker to put a knife in my back or a fuckin’ bullet.”

All of his words were wrapped in sobs. His body was weakened by the release, and he couldn’t hold himself up.

Eden held him, guided him to the floor, and held him like a mother would’ve held her child.

A mother to her son. Maximus needed his mother, and he knew he would never have her in the capacity he needed.

She rocked him, rubbed his back, and kissed the top of his head. She didn’t mumble a word. It wasn’t needed anymore. He needed to release it. Tears, snot, and whatever else didn’t matter. He had a woman who could be what he needed when he needed, and she was strength at the dawn of morning.

His sobs quieted, but he still rested against her, his eyes closed. Settling.

“Thank you,” he muttered, sitting up.

Eden wiped her face. “Don’t thank me for loving you.”

Maximus laced her fingers in his. “Moving forward, it’s us. It’s this legacy we’re building, and we won’t look back.”

“It’s family day, you heading up before we go to dinner tonight?”

“I’m going to be real with you. I can’t handle that shit today.”

“I hear you. How about you finish that?” Eden suggested, motioning to the soundboard.

“Aight, but don’t leave me alone.”

“Never. You like that stalking shit,” she hummed, earning a small smirk from him. Holding her hands out to assist him to his feet, Maximus kissed her in the process.

“You know it.”

"Big dawg MB,” Julius’ voice and cloud of smoke alerted Maximus before his actual presence could.

Maximus was taking in the view from Daysha’s childhood home.

The golf course and the setting sun brought a close to his emotional break in the wee hours of the morning.

With Eden curled up in a blanket clad in her tear-soaked tee, she tweaked his lyrics until the tiredness hit him.

They’d only been up for a couple of hours, and now he was just finding some resolve within himself.

It must’ve been the prayer Eden whispered into his skin while she thought he was fully asleep. Maximus retained every syllable to his memory.

God protect him from the demons he doesn’t talk about.

The ones that sit on his chest and play with his mind.

The ones that gnash at him in his sleep and wreak havoc over his peace.

Take the taste of guilt from his lips and replace it with the sweetness of life.

Remove the memories of betrayal and replace them with peace.

Wherever he steps foot, let him bear witness that You did it. Amen.

Seventy-six words that he would learn to speak over himself and then speak over her. He mused on the fact that Eden could pray over him with ease, but when it came to her and all of her situations, she was hesitant. For what he couldn’t be for himself, she was. For her, he’d be it too.

Turning his sight over his shoulder to find Julius smoking his signature strain of bud. Behind him was Daysha’s father, Richard Jordan. Maximus chuckled to himself, seeing the old man with a blunt of his own.

“You got everyone on that Azul Kush, huh?” Maximus trilled with a snicker.

“Keeps me ready for my baby,” Richard said with a snicker, as Maximus took a blunt from Julius. “All these years and I'm still running behind her.”

“I’m trying to be like that,” Julius said with a smirk, waiting for Richard’s reaction.

“You trying to have her barefoot in the winter, pregnant in the summer. My poor baby girl won’t ever be able to run away,” Richard huffed, taking a seat.

“Nahh,” Julius replied. “It’s not about controlling her. I just love her. Love being in her skin.” Julius shivered slightly. “Y’all made magic when y’all made her.”

Maximus smirked, inhaling a thick cloud of smoke.

“You felt that shit didn’t you?” Richard spoke.

Maximus nodded. “Through my entire being and back again. I’m experiencing new layers of love every day. Shit I ain’t never had before.”

Richard nodded, a smile forming. “Yeah, you got that shit too. Let me tell you something. A woman can be church, nurture like a mother, have this girl-like playful nature about her, and in that bedroom, she can fulfill fantasies, and that all comes from her being protected and taken care of. These young niggas out here think that having a woman submit is some badge of honor because they beat on their chest or on her and make her a shell of herself. A woman – a real one, who ain’t taking no shit off you – treated right, heard, and understood will be and do whatever for you within the realm of respect for herself and you. ”

“Fa sho,” Julius agreed. “I never thought I was going to get a force like Day. That type of power is like a constant sign that God is real.”

Maximus grunted. “God is definitely real. And He really didn’t forget about me. Even in my bullshit. Felon, murderer, drug dealer, and He gave me that.”

Maximus turned to look into the house at Eden, Staysha, Daysha, and Donna holding children, laughing, and trading secrets.

The happiness that oozed from each of them was like watching the stars dance for the men.

Even Keon, who was standing on the edge of the green with the phone pressed to his ear.

“Crazy shit ain’t it. Even with all the bullshit we go through tied to the streets; the snakes and still come home to the softest place on earth. Arms open, ready to receive us and take that weight off of us. I swear that hard nigga don’t exist when she step in.”

“Heard that.”

“Now with all that, why you heavy, nigga?” Julius questioned lowly.

“You know how the streets come knocking and you answer?”

Julius scoffed bitterly with laughter. “That last knock I got was after my cousin set me up at my own label launch with my lady in the function.”

Maximus looked over at Julius, the ribbons of smoke dancing. “My brother shot at her, then sent one right through my shoulder.”

“How that end up?”

“With his end,” Maximus quietly admitted. “At that point, blood didn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t. I think about that day every fuckin’ day.

Every time I look at her and our oldest, I play it back.

If anything touched her, I would have to take that nigga to his end myself.

When it comes to them, blood don’t matter.

Your gang don’t matter. All that matters is that right there.

You can’t let that shit drive you crazy.

Trust me, I’m crazy, nigga. Like with papers. ”

Maximus chuckled. “If I got my head checked, I probably would have papers too.”

They laughed and quieted.

“MB, you solid. You getting everything you sacrificed everything for. Don’t let them anxious thoughts or them vultures chip away at the one thing you can control.

” Julius tapped his temple. “You control this, everything follows, nigga. You gon’ have your wings in the sky and feet on the ground. You gon’ be aight, nigga.”

“Heard you. ‘Preciate it.”

Keon stalked up the steps with a look of relief on his face. “I hate to break up y’all sentimental moment. Rudy played some shit for Zaim when we were in GH. I got the verse, we need to get in the studio tonight.”

Maximus and Julius shared a look.

“That sound we needed to wrap up this album?” Maximus asked, with excitement growing in his voice.

Keon nodded. “Hell yeah.”

“Let me call Don. He somewhere around here,” Julius stated, and started off into the house. The rest of the men followed after putting their respective blunts out.

“Uh oh,” Eden hummed. “They got that look.”

“Y’all are about to leave us for the studio, aren’t you?” Daysha posed.

Julius smiled. “Y’all trying to come through?”

Donna shooed them along. “Them babies ain’t here yet, and I got these two. Go.”

“Definitely need you there,” Maximus muttered against Eden’s face.

“You don’t need me, you want me.”

“It’ll always be both.”