Page 45 of Another Lucky Number (Lucky Number #2)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

‘ J ames… I… I’m…’ I search for the words but can’t seem to find the right ones.

‘Just say it, Emma.’ He seems to brace himself.

‘No, wait… there’s no “it”. But I do think we need to talk about where this might or might not be going between us.’

‘I’m feeling an emphasis on the “might not” part.’ He gently pulls his hand away from mine and my heart sinks at the symbolism of this.

‘James, as you know I’m not long out of a relationship that damaged my confidence in men – and in myself. This is a timing thing. It’s nothing to do with you, I promise.’

‘Please spare me the clichés. I’d rather you went for the band-aid approach. Go on, rip it off.’

‘I’m just trying to be honest. I genuinely don’t know whether I’m ready to jump into something serious again so soon.

You’re amazing and attentive… someone who’ll challenge me to be the best person I can be, and I’m worried that as you do that, my insecurities will bubble up and eventually ruin us.

I need to rebuild myself and my confidence, and—’

‘Figure out who you are, and what you want from life? ’

‘ No .’ I stifle a giggle. ‘That’s so “cheesy movie”.’

‘It seemed to fit the tone.’ He gives a weak smile, but his gaze is fixed on the table.

I watch him trying to shield himself from the hurt of my words, and as I do, I visualise how this conversation will end: with a disconsolate James walking out of the bar and me looking longingly after him, wondering if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.

This followed by three further days of bumping into him and feeling the agony of not being able to laugh with him or kiss him.

And eventually heading off home to probably never see him again.

Expect maybe awkwardly bumping into him with a beautiful woman latched on his arm, whom I greet with resentment, because… she should have been me.

In an instant, everything becomes clear. I can’t let him go. I’m not going to lose him to that beautiful woman. Not unless he can’t work with me on what I now realise I need from him – in which case, she was always going to get him anyway. But until I ask, I won’t know.

‘James, I promise I’m not blowing smoke up your arse. I do need to rebuild my confidence and my faith in men, but… I want to do it with you. Not without you.’

‘You do?’ He looks up at me in surprise.

‘Yes.’ I snatch up his hand again. ‘But I need you to understand that I’m a bit fragile right now.

I’m going to think you’re trying to fix me because I (not you) see myself as broken.

I’m also likely to wobble and overreact and read things wrong at times, so I’ll need you to be patient with me, but ultimately, I think I’m going to fall for you… big style.’

James looks utterly bemused, but the corners of his mouth are twitching. ‘So, you’re not calling things off?’

‘Well, no.’ I feel myself redden. ‘I guess I’m saying that, if you can deal with all that, then we’re on. But I know that’s a lot to stomach, and I’ll understand if you choose to run out of here as fast as you can.’

‘Are you done?’

‘I’m done.’ I scrunch up my nose while I wait for him to respond to my mad tirade.

He seems to take a moment to compose himself, and I’m pretty sure he’s trying not to laugh.

‘Emma, what you’ve said doesn’t make me want to run. I actually respect and admire your honesty.’

‘You do?’

‘Yes. So, thank you for laying everything out like that. Now that I’ve heard your “terms” – which I wholly accept – can I share mine?’

‘Go on.’ I bite my lip coyly, basking in the magic of what he’s said – that he still wants to be with me, despite me dumping my weighty baggage on the table with an almighty thud.

‘All right, here goes… If I care about someone, I’m fiercely loyal. I’ll do everything I can to protect them, support them, make them happy and help them succeed at whatever’s important to them. It doesn’t matter whether they’re family, friend or partner, that’s what you get from James.’

I giggle at his reference to himself in the third person and he gives a wry smile.

‘What that means is that I’ll be all of those things with you and for you, but it also means I’ll sometimes miss the mark and get things wrong. All I ask is that you keep that in mind and give me the benefit of the doubt. How does that sound?’

I break into a grin. ‘It sounds amazing.’

James gets out of his seat and comes round to sit beside me, gently taking my hands in his. ‘Good. Because I was not looking forward to bumping into you on the street one day with some beefy bloke on your arm that should have been me. ’

My hand flies to my mouth in astonishment. ‘ That’s exactly what I was thinking . But you with a stunning woman, obviously.’

‘Really? Must be a sign.’

We both lean in and enjoy our most delicious kiss yet – symbolically sealing the terms of our agreement.

By early evening, I’ve reported the good news to Cat and Amber via our WhatsApp group.

They’re obviously delighted and Amber wastes no time in upgrading our dinner reservation to a table of six.

I’ve also showered and changed, ready for my first fully relaxed evening out since Sébastien Dumont – the man who puts the ‘hot’ in hotelier – first appeared in my life.

Though when I say ‘fully relaxed’, it comes with the caveat that I haven’t yet heard the outcome from my interview, which I’m not taking as a good sign.

I’m giving myself a final once over in the mirror before heading out to meet everyone, when the phone on the bedside table rings. Fuck. This is it. Dashing across to answer it, I put on my best phone voice.

‘Hello?’

‘Ms Blake, this is Gizelle from reception. Monsieur Dumont sends his apologies for keeping you waiting. He would like to meet you in the atrium in ten minutes if this would be suitable for you?’

‘Yes, absolutely. I’ll make my way along there now.’

Replacing the handset, I quickly send a message to Cat and Amber to let them know it’s crunch time (and that I’ll be late for dinner), then I pull on my wedged sandals, grab my clutch, and hurry along to reception, overflowing with a fresh set of nerves.

Sébastien is already waiting when I arrive .

‘Emma… bonsoir .’ He greets me in the usual way. ‘I am sorry to interfere with your evening. I will not keep you for long.’

‘It’s no problem,’ I say. ‘I told the others I’d be a bit late.’

‘Shall we find a quiet place?’

‘Sure.’

Sébastien leads me across the largely empty atrium to a seating area out of earshot from reception and any passing guests. He gestures for me to sit down before parking himself next to me.

‘ Alors … Emma, thank you once again for all your commitment to this process. The fact that you sacrificed your holiday in this way is a real measure of your dedication and potential – not because you will prioritise work over rest, I must add. You know I view rest time as extremely important. However, when grand opportunities show themselves, it is those with the most potential that grasp at them…’

Gosh, that’s high praise . Maybe it’s not bad news after all. Encouraged, I sit forward, ready for what’s coming next.

‘You are an impressive young woman and you have a bright future ahead of you. Which is why it pains me to tell you that you have not been successful in securing the role.’

My momentary optimism sinks like a stone. ‘I see. That’s OK. Other than a few moments of delusion, I was expecting that to be where things went.’ I punctuate this statement with a self-deprecating chuckle.

‘I am truly regretful that I am not able to offer it to you, Emma, especially when you were so keen for the challenge and you sacrificed your vacation time for this process.’

He does look like he means it, so as much as I’m disappointed, I can take comfort from that.

‘Sébastien, it’s fine, honestly. You gave me a fantastic learning opportunity, and for that I’m truly grateful.’

While my mind processes my ‘unsuccessful’ job candidate status, the thought that’s been haunting me all afternoon leaps to the surface, and I can’t help myself. I have to put it to bed.

‘Can I ask one question? It wasn’t because of Mr Miller, was it? The man who asked the last question at the presentation. He was—’

‘Rude and arrogant.’ Sébastien frowns. ‘You must not give him another thought. Monsieur Miller is a regular guest, and while some hospitality venues may allow their VIPs to behave in any way they wish, this does not apply at Paradis Resorts. He undermined the process for his own motivations – I was already aware of his complaints – and this I cannot accept. Please be assured that I will speak with him about this. I also have no doubt there is little substance to what he said.’

I wince. ‘Actually… I did overhear his conversation, but I genuinely didn’t mean to. He was being so loud and scathing about one of the housekeeping staff. I was shocked and it must have been clear from the expression on my face.’

‘Emma, if Monsieur Miller is going to talk like that in the bar, it will be very difficult for anyone not to overhear him. I will say again only once – you must not give this another thought, and I ask for your discretion in what I have shared with you.’

‘Yes, absolutely. Not a word.’

‘ Merci bien .’ He nods his appreciation. ‘Now, if I may, I would like to share some feedback with you?’

‘Yes, please. I’m always keen to know what I can do to improve.’

‘This is nothing less than I would expect of you. Your interview and presentation today were almost faultless, except for two things: you came across as nervous, which is perfectly understandable; and you showed a lack of understanding of some important strategic and financial aspects of the hospitality industry.’

‘I know. I would need to learn about those areas.’ I purse my lips thoughtfully, unsure whether to vocalise what else is on my mind. ‘Sébastien, there’s something I’d like to confess… No, wait, that makes it sound really bad. There’s something I’d like to share.’

‘Please, go on.’