Page 19

“ Y ou’ve never been on a roller coaster?!” My shouts filled the truck, and the back of my hand smacked Ryder’s arm harder than I’d meant to, but shit.

Out of Nephilim and werewolves and Source magic, this had to be the wildest thing I’d heard all day.

And yet the demon hunter sitting right next to me had looked at me point-blank and said he wanted to ride the Dipper.

I took a breath to contain my disbelief, but my voice still pitched up in surprise.

“What do you usually do for fun?”

“I don’t know.” He dipped his chin, as if trying to hide how his lips curved into a grin.

“Hunt.”

“That can’t be all you do. Don’t you have friends?” Not that I had them in abundance.

“What do you do with them?”

Both his hands clutched the steering wheel as we cut through downtown, the shrill cries from the bar hoppers and after-dark renegades drifting through our open windows.

I hadn’t taken my eyes off him, and a light flush crept up his neck.

Ryder actually looked sheepish .

And he still hadn’t answered my question.

It shouldn’t be a shocker that this moody drifter, who looked like he walked straight out of The Matrix , was kind of a loner.

But really? No one? Who was his Javi?

I knew Leif wasn’t. But he had to have someone to scream his lungs out at the top of the Double Shot with.

Someone to go on long drives with.

Someone to laugh with, and cry with, and hug when everything went wrong in the world.

His silence hit me hard.

I almost reached for his hand again when he released an audible breath as the twisted amusement park architecture rose into the full moon’s sky.

It was open late because summer, and shrieks escaped in regular intervals from the Boardwalk’s rides.

Circus riffs swelled in and out with every entrance gate we drove by.

As we glided into the main visitor lot, my grin inflated my cheeks as his fingers tapped the leather, and he sat up a little higher.

Was he nervous?

Ryder got out first when we parked, his gaze fixed on the rooftops and the smattering of attractions atop it, while he waited for me to join.

After I got out, we walked to the crosswalk, our arms so close to touching I could feel his heat radiating off him, to the ticket counter nestled in the building beneath the teal tracks.

“Two roller coaster rides, please.” The neon lights reflected in his wide green eyes.

The lady behind the counter stared at him blankly, then returned to buffing her nails.

He turned to me, flabbergasted.

“That…” I clapped my hand over my mouth, holding back the giggle that threatened to undo me.

“Oh my God, that is too cute.” I bumped his hip with mine, shifting him to the side.

“Two ride passes, please.”

The park employee barely glanced up.

“Twenty dollars with the after-dark discount.”

I went for the bill tucked in the hidden pocket of my skirt, but Ryder cut in.

“Let me pay.” As he slipped his credit card under the plastic barrier, I swore his hand trembled—maybe that was just a trick of the amusement park’s whirling lights.

“Here’s the plan.” I snatched up the goods and turned to him, placing the wristband on his wrist and gently sticking the ends together so they didn’t snag the hair on his arm.

Despite his warmth, goosebumps appeared on his skin.

“First rides, second food. Always in that order. Safe to say you’ve never had a corn dog?”

“I…I’m a vegetarian.” His response made me falter with my own paper bracelet, which I usually had no problem putting on even while I was walking.

Perhaps I hadn’t heard him correctly through the rally cries of the midway.

Yet when I whirled on my heels to question him further, he stared at the cracks in the ground as if he was counting them.

A vegetarian. Ha! I’d assumed he ate steak and eggs for breakfast and teratorn pudding for dessert.

This night was full of surprises.

He was full of surprises.

“Oh my God,” I just said again, looping my arm through his as I led him down the path, fully embracing my role as tour guide as I pointed out the various carnival games: “I swear the milk bottle towers are rigged.” And the Surf City Grill’s delights: “Their famous popcorn chicken might not appeal, but the deep-fried artichoke hearts are to die for.” And explained the importance of a roller coaster’s seats: “The front obviously has the best view, but the back is where you feel weightless.” I caught our reflection as we ambled past the mirrored windows of Fantasyworld Comics.

The double dimples set next to my full-faced smile stopped me in my tracks.

I looked so…happy.

Then the guilt hit me like a breaking wave.

It’s not like I couldn’t hang with anyone else, but I knew this would sting my best friend a bit.

For a moment, I imagined his rich tawny hands pulling me to the nearest ride, his soft curls lifting with the wind, his thick black brows that always seemed to be raised in amusement.

I did a double-take, and it was someone else entirely who reached for my waist, slaying the illusion of Javi.

The coax of Ryder’s fingers, and an eruption of screams, pulled me back to the moment.

Both rattled my bones, but it was the righteous roar that shook the doors of the comic bookstore.

Our chins lifted to the looming red-and-white structure as an electric-blue cart and a dozen hands flew overhead, taking the screams with it.

The corners of my lips twitched up.

“You ready?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but I didn’t wait to hear it.

Pulling his arm, we snaked into a faded orange building and followed the curved wooden interior.

The line went quickly since it was already so late, and Ryder’s warm ivory cheeks paled as the group in front of us boarded.

I gave his arm a reassuring squeeze, clutching on to his bicep as I raised to my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

“You chase big, bad demons and you’re scared of the Big Dipper?”

Now he really looked like he’d seen a ghost.

The ride attendant motioned us over and I darted to the very back seats.

“Remember what I said?” I reminded him in a singsong voice.

Ryder forcefully swallowed and wiped his brow, tucking his long legs to fit into the tight space.

Beneath the lap bar his chest deflated, keeping our bodies, and his terror, restrained.

It was kind of cute to see him squirming like this, over a roller coaster of all things.

A warped choo choo signaled our departure.

I threw my arms in the air.

The cart lurched forward.

“Hands up!”

He looked at me like I had gone absolutely insane.

“What?”

“Hands UP!” I yelled, and with that, we plunged down into darkness.

Our screams echoed through the tunnel, dissipating in the moonlight as the coaster pulled outside.

Breaths tight in our chests, ears stinging with the cool wind, we chugged up the first hill, the track powered by hydraulics and adrenaline.

Being at the top of the Big Dipper stripped life to its simplest form.

Here, everything escaped us, except our basic instincts and the energy of the climb.

It was that involuntary reflex that caused me to reach for my neighbor’s hand, just before the tipping moment.

Half expecting the familiar form of Javi’s, I latched on to Ryder’s calloused palm instead.

Free from the pressure to play it cool, he didn’t flinch away, holding me tight until the free fall stole the air from our lungs, and gravity broke us apart.

The rest of the ride was chasing that initial plummet.

Which, after the day I’d had, you’d think I’d be good off that.

The stomach-twisting turns and heart-stopping hills made my heart pound with the same rush I got running from the teratorn and the werewolves, but I shrieked with joy, not fear.

We lurched into the station, laughing, gasping for the breaths that’d been stolen from us.

Ryder brought his fist to his chest. “I don’t think my heart beats that fast when I’m hunting demons!” he shouted, oblivious to the onlookers hunched over the railing.

I buried my cheek into my palm to hide my smile.

“You never forget your first drop.”

“I definitely won’t now.” The gold flecks in his eyes burned bright with enthusiasm.

There was something deep behind that stare that seemed to take in every inch of my face.

Him looking at me like that…

it was like a stroke of lightning and a gentle caress all at once, the moment awkwardly shattered by the attendant freeing us from the lap bar.

We staggered out of our seats, Ryder carving a less straight path, bumping his shoulder with mine.

That electric current ignited between us once more, and I couldn’t help but think, what happened when the buzz wore off?

When we left this paradise for the cold hard world—hands down, rush gone, back to two strangers in the night?

As we made our way to the viewing area that showcased a collage of pictures taken of everyone screaming their lungs out during the ride, his hand brushed my elbow, gliding to my lower back.

I’d be a jerk to move away.

He was clearly unsteady from some roller coaster-induced vertigo.

Right? So, what was my excuse when we finally stood still and waited for our photos, and that hand wrapped around my waist…

Maybe it was me who needed the support—because the world seemed to be tilting around me.

Deep down, I knew the shaky legs were temporary.

That the dopey grins would dim.

And still I couldn’t stop the smile from squeezing my cheeks when I spotted our picture on the screen.

Our shared joy looked so convincing of a real friendship it’d fool the most cynical bystanders, us.

But that picture wasn’t reality; it was pretend.

The high would fade and we’d be back to what we were, no matter how many purposeful touches he snuck in…

It'd be better to just end it now and go home. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way.” I slid out of his grasp. “I’ve got to bounce.”

“Oh no, we’re just getting started.” He followed my backwards steps.

I stayed just out of his reach. “Nephilim or not, I still have homework.”

“C’mon,” he pleaded behind lowered lashes. “You don’t have time for one more ride?”

No. I didn’t have time for this ride, or whatever literal ups and downs we were sharing. Or this conversation. But the second I met his intense green hazel gaze I found myself debating the consequences. Again.

Sure, the threat of missing curfew didn’t mean much since I had turned eighteen. But I did still live at home and was technically still a high school student until I got the official piece of paper that said otherwise. House rules, although loose, did remain standing—unless I wanted to sleep somewhere other than under my dad’s roof. Okay that was a little extreme; would an extra twenty minutes really change that much?

“Please?” he said, voice low and longing. “You’re already going to be late.”

My lower back still tingling from his touch, I made the mistake of meeting his eyes, and the words slipped out. “Fine. What’s on your list next?”

Our heads slowly turned to the circular steel structure at the opposite end of the park.

“How about the Ferris wheel?” he suggested, gesturing down the path. The hanging lights bathed the concrete in a warm, cozy iridescence, and the music seemed softer over there.

Nope, nope, nope , shouted the logical part of my brain. At this time of night, the Ferris wheel was reserved for people trying to escape the prying eyes of others so they could vape or make out or admire the stars. We were doing none of that. Which was why I had every intention of taking him to the gravity-defying Rock-O-Plane instead.

“Okay.” Damnit, River . At this point my heart required a muzzle because it kept butting into all my decisions. Maybe we’d get lucky and there’d be so many people waiting we’d have to give up and head to another ride. A backwards, upside-down, super-spinny one…

Of course, when we got to the Ferris wheel, there was no one in line. With jittery limbs, I hoisted myself towards the torn pleather cushion. Ryder caught my hand and guided me onto the seat, sliding in next. My stomach rocked with the pink metal basket as the wheel lifted us closer to the heavens.

On our first loop, we stopped just shy of the peak, thank goodness, because that’s where the “magic” happened. I didn’t need that added temptation. Plus, being sandwiched between an old couple ahead and gawking tourists behind did take some of the edge off.

“Does it always feel like this?” Ryder broke the silence. A first.

“What?” The layers that framed my face tossed lightly in the wind.

Ryder watched the hair dance across my cheeks. His arm twitched like he was thinking of brushing a hand across my face, and my heart thumped in response. “Hanging out with you.”

I let out a barking laugh, hoping it’d distract from the tremble in my voice. “Uh, hectic? Stressful? Death-defying? Yes.”

With a ghost of a grin, he shook his head. “No, interesting. Exciting. Amazing.” And then he whispered, almost to himself, “I don’t think I want to let you go.”

A pain cinched my chest. We’d eventually part—he’d made that clear to Leif. I still didn’t understand what or who he was looking for; I just knew it wasn’t me. That thought broke away as we teetered downwards, and the acceleration brought us earthward. Whizzing past the loading dock, we did another full rotation, and ended our second lap parallel to the roofs of the game stalls. Our shoes dangled so close to the tacked-on prizes I could count the bottles on the Ring Toss.

“It seems pretty lonely, this wizardry, or whatever you call it.” My tongue knotted on the word. “Nephilim.” I sensed Ryder’s smirk and gave his arm a playful backhand. “I’ve been asking myself, what am I really giving up by giving in? Will I be able to have a semi-normal life? Will I still be able to surf? And have days where the only thing I do is binge snacks and comics? I haven’t even graduated high school—I know, I sound stupid, but is it like…demons or diploma?”

He chuckled. “Of course you can do all that.”

Suddenly feeling shy and exposed, I glanced over at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice the blush blasting my skin. His eyes stayed on the horizon, where the ocean blended into the night sky, the midnight blues fading into each other seamlessly.

When his lips straightened, he said, “And you’re not stupid. You’re far from it. For what it’s worth, I was homeschooled. I definitely didn’t finish my schoolwork on society’s acceptable timeline, whatever that is. To be honest, I don’t even think I got a diploma.”

“That’s different,” I muttered.

“Well, isn’t that what you want? A piece of paper to tell you you’re as good as everyone else?” Valid point. “Let me tell you now.” He closed the space between us, leaning so close that one slight rock of the cart would push me into his lips. “You are.”

The gears started shifting, the spokes started spinning, and we plummeted again, back to earth and into each other.

When I fell exactly where I thought I’d land, his mouth was soft, warm. Welcoming. I knew it was coming, but the kiss still surprised me. I froze, savoring the cushion of his lips that pressed so gently against mine.

Only when the Ferris wheel bounced to a halt did we break apart, and it hit me where we had stopped—at the top, a light breeze swinging us back and forth. With no one in view ahead or behind, we might as well have been alone at the top of the world.

Ryder’s concentration hadn’t strayed from my face. I met his gaze, and he caressed my cheek, his finger lingering on my chin. His bones, used to crushing monsters, trembled slightly, like they strained against the tenderness. My body, giving in to its desires, leaned further into his chest.

He bent his neck, bringing his face down to meet mine again, and I inhaled him with every quickened breath. In the spirit of letting fate run its course, I’d been running too long from this. I just prayed my insecurities, the emotional scarring from my past, didn’t seize the moment. Because I did want this—I wanted him, wanted his intense but intimate contact, wanted my lips to kiss him unrestrained once they joined his.

They did.

My fingers skimmed the shape of his shoulders, brushing the dips and curves of his taut muscles, tracing the nape of his neck. I buried them in his hair, each strand like fine silk, flowing against my skin like a river.

Folding my legs over his, he guided me onto his lap, pulling me even closer. My hand caught between our bodies, and we let out breathless laughs as I slipped it free then wrapped it around his back. That smile of his quickly turned hungry, and it was all too easy for me to give in. Mouths desperate for the other’s, chests shuddering in rhythm, we pressed close together, becoming so intensely intertwined that I thought we might flip the basket—and I wouldn’t have even cared if that happened.

His hand slid into the pleats that covered my thighs. I flinched at first, then arched into the touch. Our tongues collided and clashed in fierce, purposeful circles as his other hand moved beneath the cotton that clung to my stomach, the knot that had been tied there earlier in the night coming loose under his fingertips. They kneaded their way to my ribs, to my spine, to every muscle on my back, strumming the raised scars across my shoulder blades.

The fingers that had been lingering in my skirt grazed my underwear. It was impossible to contain a gasp. Impossible, as a hint of rough skin slipped past the fabric, as they teased the sensitive edges beneath it, as I felt everything and nothing, again and again.

Every inch of me burned and soared, and I was torn in a million directions, not even sure where to focus: On his lips on mine with the slight nip of his teeth as he pressed me deeper into the kiss. Or on his hands, each tracing the shape of my body in a way that made me shiver. Or on the way I sat draped across his lap and how he made me tingle with the simplest rock of his hips. Every sound, every touch, every scent was him .

With the way my stomach dropped and the wind tousled my hair…his kiss made me feel like I was falling. I peered through the gaps of our tangled limbs and—oh God, we actually were! The real world very much returning as the Ferris wheel started up again and we departed our corner of the stars. I shot back to my seat, our limbs detangling and separating. Ryder’s swollen lips glistened. He didn’t rush to wipe them.

Judging by the raised eyebrows from the people now waiting in line, the dangling stuffed bears hadn’t been our only audience. I wished I could say I cared, but the butterflies flapping in the deepest part of my belly destroyed any sense of decency.

Not holding back our smiles, we jumped off the ride and his hand squeezed my ass. We reentered the Boardwalk, testing things out as a pair. Walking a little closer. Laughing a little louder. Tripping over our feet, pushing stray curls behind each other’s ears. Noting the many alleyways and unlit corners that had the potential to host round two. It didn’t matter if this was short-lived or what he’d told his brother or that he was invested in someone else. I didn’t care that I hadn’t fully processed what and who I was or that I still needed to find the Voices. In this moment, this hunger, this need was all-consuming and it was the only thing that mattered.

To both of us.

Spotting an alluring employee alley next to the Haunted Castle, we beelined into its dim silhouette. The taste of him burned through me, igniting me even more. I tossed him against the defaced wall, my body thrumming with the promise of releasing those butterflies as I closed the short distance between us. Connected from chest to thigh, that need of his became very, very obvious…

A voice called my name. Impossible, considering how deep we pressed into the shadows, into the late hour, into each other. I must’ve been imagining things. Our breathless gasps had to be distorting the sounds—it came again.

“Hey, River!”

I might as well have been doused with cold water.

“River?”

Not even turned to see him, I sensed his confusion. Heat bloomed in my cheeks. I really, really didn’t want to face him right now, but I couldn’t stand frozen against Ryder’s lips forever.