Page 60 of Anaki

I opened and closed my mouth. “Wait, his scent? His body scent?”

“Amongst other things.” Nadia smiled.

I groaned and placed my face in my hands. So much for being like Emm and not having any embarrassment about her sexuality. I was nothing like her. She would have laughed and told her man to take her in a closet, to make other men jealous.

I heard Nadia’s wheels on her chair scoot across the room until she was next to me. Her small hand patted my back. “Hey, are you okay? I know this has to be a lot.”

I sighed and kept my face buried. “I don’t know, honestly.” I sat up straight. “I’m finally accepting things for what they are, and I’m scared. I am supposed to be mean and tough, not believe in happiness, because that’s just not what happens in life.”

Nadia scoffed. “You are not your sister at all. We love your sister to pieces, but that isn’t the vibe I get. You are like an orange. Soft but durable on the outside and bright, sweet and tangy inside. But Emm’s like a pineapple. Tough and prickly on the outside, slightly acidic and a sweet tartness on the inside.”

I covered my mouth to laugh.

“I know I’m not her, but I try to be more like her. Stronger, better for everyone. I feel weak because of my illness, of my past, of what I fell for then. I feel like I have to be tough up here.” I pointed to my head.

“Yeah, and how is that going for you?” Nadia crossed her arms. “You’ve been fighting since you got here. Not in the physical sense, but here.” She laid her hand on her heart.

I huffed. “Everything is going so perfectly. I’m just worried something terrible is going to happen. It just all seems too good.” I sniffed and felt the sting of tears filling my eyes.

Nadia reached over to the counter and pulled out some tissues for me to take. “Elena, you’ve had it rough so far. Everyone who has ended up here has been kicked when they were down, their hearts shattered, their life permanently altered by someone else. Each member is here looking for something, and that is usually a someone. You are meant to be here, with us.”

A guttural sob escaped my throat, catching me off guard. My eyes welled up with tears, blurring my vision as I struggled to hold back the emotions that threatened to consume me. I tried to remind myself that I am strong, that I have always been strong. But in that moment, the facade of toughness crumbled, and all that was left was a fragile shell, shattered by overwhelming pain and vulnerability.

I didn’t even know Nadia, and here I was, bare and raw, just as Anaki was this morning.

“I don’t know if I’m good enough for him. What if I have a relapse? What if I can’t be strong enough? I’m only human. He doesn’t want someone who might end up in a wheelchair.”

What if all of this was temporary? What if the pain comes back full force?

Nadia stood up and wrapped her arms around me. “Anaki knows you are human, and you two are so perfect for each other. It’s almost gross.” She giggled into my hair.

“What do you mean?” I sniffed.

“Because he thinks he isn’t worthy of you.” She ran her fingers throughmy hair. “You are his sun to take him out of the darkness that he lives in. All that happiness he shows on the outside is just a front, but you knew that already, didn’t you?”

I did. I could look into his eyes and see it.

“It's because you can see his soul, Elena. You can feel his pain, you can feel the suffering. You don’t pity him, you want to take it away. I do the same with Bear.”

“You do?” I whispered.

Nadia nodded. “Of course. When you are soulmates, you want to carry each other’s burdens.”

Chapter Nineteen

Anaki

With my arms crossed, I gripped my biceps. The pain throbbed when I let my claws pierce the skin in irritation.

“Fuck, you smell like fish,” Bear groaned. “Is that what your dragon smells like? No more cuddle piles for you.”

I curled my lip in a snarl and leaned in, catching a whiff of his scent. "You smell like a wet teddy bear dipped in sour honey," I remarked, scrunching my nose in distaste. I rolled my eyes, my gaze drifting longingly toward the door that held my mate inside.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a mood.” Bear chuckled. “Not saying I blame you for it, I was the same before I claimed Nadia.”

Elena didn’t want me inside. I could see by the look on her face. I could read emotions fairly well; I swore there was a little empath in me. I didn’t fight her. I let her go with one of my most trusted friends, but it still stung.

Silent words were spoken between her and Abuela before we arrived. I didn’t know what they were, but it snapped something inside her that made me believe she wanted more information about… I wasn’t sure what.