Page 38 of An Unexpected Ascension (A War Between Worlds #1)

The Angel

The wait for Lucifer’s wife was nearly killing him, and the wait to be okay with existing was nearly killing me. So, together we sparred for every minute Lynx was gone.

This time, Lucifer trains me with a sword. The weapon is heavy and awkward to wield. After the first hour, my arms ache. After the second hour, I finally get the hang of it, and after the third, my body screams with exhaustion.

Needless to say, I lose every round.

Sweat coats my hair, my face, my neck. It seeps down into my leathers, hardly soaking into the material. Yet, we keep going until we’re boneless and desperate for air.

Finally, my body gives out. My sword clatters to the ground and I drop, lying on my back. I heave as I stare at the stone ceiling of the training room, my eyes blurry with sweat.

The Devil finds a spot next to me.

“You did really well. It’s the determination that will get you far. Keep practicing.”

“Thanks,”

I breathe.

There’s a moment of silence between us before he clears his throat.

“It’s none of my business, dear, but is there a reason you’re so keen on breaking my Second in Command?”

I shrug against the floor.

“Besides the fact that he’s a demon and very much acts like it?”

“Yes, I suppose besides that.”

“My ancestor killed his sister, and he’s damned me for it. I’ve done nothing to him he hasn’t done to me.”

“Besides stab him in the ribs... and heart.”

I let loose an empty laugh.

“He has no heart,” I lie.

Warm, brown eyes fall over me.

“Briar, you know that is not the case.”

He sighs.

“Damn, I promised myself I would not get in the middle, but after today...”

He refers to Lynx’s stubbornness and my kiss.

“He’s a fool in love and you know it.”

“A fool indeed,” I agree.

“I beg of you, either cut him free or stop pretending you don’t feel the same.”

I push myself up to stand, towering over him to meet his gaze.

“I feel nothing right now. Not for him, not even for me. If he wants to keep playing around as if he even knows what love is, then that’s on him. I’m not the one pretending here.”

“Lynx might not know how to love properly, but he does love and for some reason he loves you. He isn’t going to give up you know. And one of these days, when your heart heals, his love will find a way in and fill it.”

“Has anyone ever told you what a sap you are?”

I glower.

“And how wrong you are?”

As I turn to leave, he mutters.

“More than once.”

We go our separate ways, taking our time to ourselves before joining again inside the Throne Room. The Devil sits anxiously on that pile of twisted bones, such darkness against the alabaster white.

He could be the very thing nightmares are made of but during my time spent in Hell, the Devil is the least frightening thing I’ve encountered. The Gods were so wrong in damning him here. Lucifer has conquered this worldly prison, but he was not made for a place this bleak.

“He should be back by now,”

he murmurs, gnawing his lower lip.

I stand before him with my hands clasped behind my back. To worry for Lynx would be to admit I could feel anything and... I don’t. Though I’ve lost my heart, I haven’t lost enough of my soul to be that indifferent to what the Devil’s feeling right now.

“He’ll come.”

Worried eyes meet mine in a plea. Fear whirls within them and my gut squeezes. I can only hope that I’m right. I give him a reassuring nod, and he expels a breath, dropping his elbows to his knees and bowing his head between his shoulders.

As I begin to pace to pass the time, a shift in my peripheral forces my attention. Lucifer rushes to his feet, his face ashen and drained of color as he stares behind me with his hand clutching his chest.

I spin and in the center of the Throne Room a storm of two bodies appear: Lynx and Ada. The demon stands there with this slender, meek woman in his arms, and the heart in my chest murmurs a single beat.

A gust of air brushes past me as Lucifer races to their side, helping Ada down from Lynx’s arms. He holds her steady like she’s lost all use of her legs, her muscles withered away with whatever else the Gods have stolen.

He brushes a hand along the side of her head, his thumb rubbing at the dirt hiding a face he once knew so well. Tears glitter in the Devil’s eyes. In that hazel gaze he loves so much, a tiny little flame sparks with life before him.

“My Ada,”

he breathes while his eyes rove over every inch of her tired face. “My love.”

She only sobs, her body going limp in his arms.

He drops to the ground and holds her to him, cradling her body to his. With steady hands, he caresses her head, her face, the tears wetting her cheeks. He kisses each and every one of them that falls as he whispers his apologies.

Dirt crusted fingers curl around the fabric of his black button up with nearly enough strength to rip it from his body. She clings to him like this is merely a dream she’ll wake up from, a dream she would do anything to get back to.

I don’t look away, daring my own heart to feel any damn thing, and perhaps it does. Perhaps my heart aches for the scene in front of me, but I refuse to let the warmth of this moment thaw the ice that's encased it.

I watch until Lucifer pushes himself to stand, gathering Ada in his arms and leaves us without so much as another thought. Alone in the Throne Room, I can feel the demon’s stare, feel it like his own hands are on me.

Snapping my head his way, I intend to say something venomous, but when I’m met with pure dread, my mouth snaps shut.

“It’s so much worse than I imagined.”

His voice is a hushed confession.

“What is?”

“What they’ve done, the Gods. I could read every horrible detail in Ada’s eyes.”

I drop my gaze to the floor as sympathy floods me.

“Well, you’ve brought her back. It’s over now.”

He doesn’t jest, doesn’t dare make a sarcastic remark about being heroic. He does nothing that reminds me of the demon he is.

“It’s just the beginning, Briar. That was our first act of war.”

“You knew that going in.”

“And now I’ve seen what they’ve done to the one the Devil loves.”

He steps closer to me.

“I regret dragging you into this.”

“I'm not backing out now because you’re afraid. I have nothing left to lose. I refuse to let those assholes continue treating us like we’re nothing but trash or playthings.”

“You might have nothing left to lose, but I do.”

Another inch closer. He grabs my hand and pulls me into him.

“I’m not yours to lose.”

“No, maybe you’re not mine, but losing you would hurt all the same. I don’t want to exist without you. Even if you hate me for the rest of eternity, even if you only scowl at me, even if you stab me, Briar, because I’d rather have all that than nothing at all.”

I shut my eyes refusing to meet that heated gaze. His hands slide to the sides of my face, and I wait. I wait for another one of his forceful kisses, but it never comes.

“I don’t hate you,”

I finally tell him.

“I just don’t love you.”

Slowly, his hands fall from my face and when I open my eyes, I find a maddening cluster of hurt and pain entwined with navy blue. Each step he takes towards the Throne Room doors are permanently seared into my mind.

There’s a terrible ripping sensation inside my chest where my hardened heart lies empty. Only, it mustn’t be as empty as I tell myself because I still feel when I should not. I thought everything worth existing for had vanished along with my mother and my unborn daughter, but here I stand, feeling worse than I possibly could.

What I told the demon is true. I don’t hate him. I can’t hate him because I just can’t feel, which means I can’t possibly love him either. Except?—

No, I’m in no place to love anyone. Not even myself.

The only room inside this soul of mine is reserved for vengeance.