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D ru paced the bedchamber, her eyes grainy from lack of sleep. She berated herself for her behavior last night. But she would not take back a single word she had said to Perry.

Why did the man have to be so bloody stubborn?

It was obvious they had feelings for one another.

She had even blurted out that she loved him, something he had not echoed in return.

Still, if he did not love her, she knew he did hold some feelings for her.

They could not have been so intimate together last night otherwise.

Once more, he had cracked open the door to a new world. The way he had touched her. Reverently. Lovingly. He had stirred not only physical feelings within her, but strong emotional ones, too. It was love on her part. That she knew beyond a doubt.

Yet a part of her could understand his reluctance in making a commitment to her. He admitted last night that the war had damaged him irreparably. He might not carry the physical scars of a soldier, but his soul had been injured.

And it was up to Dru to help him to learn how to heal.

Of course, that was going to prove to be difficult, especially since she had given him an ultimatum. She had told him he must come to her and admit his love, or else she would have nothing more to do with him.

How could she help him begin to heal if they weren’t even speaking?

She tossed herself onto the bed, frustration filling her.

She knew how stubborn she could be, and she might have met her match in Perry.

She needed to find a way to break down the walls he had built about him.

To let him know he was not alone. That they could face whatever fears he experienced together.

Yet she was not one to be intimidated, either.

He needed to understand just how strongly she felt about him.

Dru had declared her love. She could not force him to love her, in return.

But if he didn’t, her heart told her that she could never love again. That her heart would always belong to the Earl of Martindale, whether he claimed it or not.

Her stomach grumbled. She decided to go to breakfast. Only Judson was in the room when she arrived.

As she helped herself to the buffet, she asked, “How is Lucy this morning?”

A self-satisfied smile crossed his lips, and she knew immediately Lucy and her husband had coupled this morning.

Dru already knew they spent their nights in the same bed, so it didn’t surprise her.

“Your sister is well this morning,” Judson told her.

“Since we stayed until the end of the celebration last night, however, I told her she must get extra rest today. I had a tray sent upstairs so that she might breakfast in bed.”

“That was very thoughtful of you, Judson.” She paused, and then asked, “Are you a proud man? Even a stubborn one at times?”

He grew thoughtful at the question. “I am proud in the marriage I have made,” he began.

“Sometimes, I feel as if my life did not begin until I met Lucy. She is my everything, Dru. I am nothing without her. But yes, I do have pride in not only my marriage, but also in Huntsworth and the work we are accomplishing here. I know I will be proud of the children my wife bears. Already, I think of the one growing in her belly all the time. I see how Julian is with Penelope, and I will venture to say that I will be as enchanted with any child Lucy births.”

He paused. “Why do you ask?”

She did not want to confide in him with two footmen and the butler standing nearby. Servants gossiped tremendously, even beyond their households, and she would not wish for word to travel from Huntsworth to Beauville regarding her feelings toward Perry.

Instead, she said, “I was merely impressed by the bounty of the harvest collected at Huntsworth, and I assumed that you take great pride in what you are accomplishing here with your tenants.”

He studied her a long moment and then said, “Perhaps you might like to see some of the early tallies. Come with me to my study after breakfast, and you can review them.”

Though Dru wasn’t interested in the numbers regarding the yield, she smiled politely and said, “Of course, Judson. I would like very much like to see that.”

As they ate, they talked about last night and how much the tenants and staff seemed to enjoy the food and dancing.

“Lord Tilsbury told me last night that he and Mr. Hollis have decided to emulate us and begin a similar tradition when they collect their own crops next week.”

“Oh, that reminds me.” She felt her cheeks warming as she said, “Lord Martindale told me the same. He met with his cook yesterday to discuss what they might serve. I volunteered to bring a list to Beauville today, a copy of the one Lucy made regarding the dishes Cook prepared last night, for Beauville’s cook. ”

“Then I suppose we can meet later to discuss our yield.”

“Yes, thank you, Judson.”

Dru finished her breakfast and went to Lucy’s parlor.

A desk stood in the corner, where her sister kept up with her correspondence.

She found the list of foods prepared by Cook and sat, copying it item by item.

She would ride to Beauville now and deliver it to Perry’s cook.

Since he should be out in the fields, she doubted she would run into him.

The ink now dry, she folded the list and slipped it into the pocket of her breeches before leaving the house to head to the stables.

On her way there, Judson joined her and asked, “Might I walk with you?”

“Certainly,” she replied. “Why do I have the feeling you were waiting for me to leave the house in order to speak with me?”

“You are not the only one aware of servants listening to our conversations, Dru. I believe you wish to address something with me. We are alone now. Speak freely.”

Her eyes misted with tears, and she blinked rapidly several times. “I am not certain how to begin.”

“Then I shall begin for you. You are in love with Lord Martindale.”

She stopped in her tracks. “How did you guess?”

“I have had my suspicions,” he shared. “Watching the two of you together, I noted the spark between you.”

A tear ran down her cheek, and Dru wiped it away hastily. “I do love him, Judson. I cannot say exactly what his feelings are for me since he has never expressed them. What I do know is that he does not see a future with us together,” she said, her voice cracking.

He took her hand and squeezed it gently. “Why do you say that?”

“Because he has told me so himself,” she said dully.

Judson’s eyes darkened in anger. “Has he touched you, Dru?”

“We have kissed,” she admitted, keeping the rest to herself.

“He is the first man I have ever kissed, and those kisses took me to a place I have never been. But his war experience has colored his outlook on life, Judson. He has admitted to me that he suffers from nightmares. I believe this is the reason he refuses to commit to me. He has spoken of being damaged by the horrors he has witnessed.”

Her brother-in-law grew thoughtful. “It would be kind of him if he did steer clear of you, Dru. I have heard some terrible tales of how the war has affected soldiers. Because of his experiences, Lord Martindale might not make for a good husband.”

“Yet he plans to go to the Season next spring and peruse the Marriage Mart!” she declared. “Why would he wed another woman and yet reject me?”

Their gazes met, and he said, “It may be because he has tender feelings for you and that he does not wish to trap you into a marriage which would prove to be unsuccessful. Lord Martindale is looking out for your wellbeing and happiness. Do not get me wrong, Dru. I like the earl. Quite a bit. But I would not see you bound to someone who would eventually make you unhappy, through no fault of his own.”

“I will be most unhappy if I do not wed him,” she said. “I love him. I believe he loves me, yet he is too stubborn and full of pride to cast it aside and seek a marriage with me.”

Judson looked at her sadly. “I know from Lucy how tender your heart is when it comes to animals, especially injured ones. That you have nursed many of them, either sick or injured, back to health, and then released them into the wild once more.”

He paused. “Not everything—or everyone—can be mended, Dru. Lord Martindale has seen horrors you and I could never understand. He has lived through experiences he can never forget. Most likely, he even suffers from survivor’s guilt.

As an officer, he led men into battle, and not all those men returned.

Obviously, what happened to him on the Continent has changed the man he once was.

Whether you understand it or not, he is doing you a favor by keeping you at arms’ length.

Because he is honorable, he does not wish to drag you into the mire with him. ”

She pulled her hand from his, not liking what he had said.

“It is too late for that. My heart is already engaged, Judson. I do want to try and help him to heal. I do not know if that is possible, but I would do my best to help him. I realize that the war was life-altering for him. While I might not be able to make him into the man he formerly was, I am desperate to share my life with the man he now is. But fool that he is, he will not let this come to pass.”

“Your feelings appear to be strong for him, Dru. As strong as mine are for Lucy. If Lord Martindale’s feelings toward you are similar, he will not be able to stay away from you for long.”

His words gave her hope that she could make a life with Perry.

“Be careful for what you wish for,” he warned. “While you obviously have a physical and emotional attraction to him, he may not be able to make you happy in the end.”