Page 24 of An Earl Like You (Games Earls Play #6)

“You’ll drive yourself mad with that question, Windham. Best not to ask it at all. You did find her, and that’s what matters.”

Cass said nothing, only stared into his glass, avoiding his friend’s eyes.

“I don’t blame you for any of this, Windham. You did what you had to do. I only wish it hadn’t happened in the middle of Lady Dumfries’s ballroom. There’s bound to be a scandal now, and you and Lady Harriet will be blamed for the incident far more than Egerton will.”

It was the truth. They would be blamed, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to protect Hattie from the gossips’ vicious tongues now. “If there’d been any way to handle it more discreetly, I would have, for her sake.”

“I know, Windham. You weren’t the villain tonight. Egerton was.”

“Yes, well, I hardly see myself as the hero in this scenario. Don’t think I don’t know that there’s very little difference between me and Egerton.”

Hayward stared at him. “For God’s sake, Windham, you’re nothing like Egerton!”

Cass startled at the shock in Hayward’s voice. “That was a point on which I thought we’d agree.”

“Are you mad? Of course, I don’t agree. Egerton is a lying, fortune-hunting, black-hearted scoundrel. Do you think I’d call a man like that my friend?”

“I…no? I never thought of it that way before.” Cass cleared the lump from his throat. “But I don’t?—”

Hayward held up his hand. “You have your irregularities, Windham, but you’re hardly a monster. You’re just a trifle misguided, and no wonder, with the father you had.”

“Misguided?” Cass laughed, but it was an ugly, broken sound. “I’m my father’s son, Hayward.”

Hayward didn’t reply right away. Cass held his breath as his friend sat staring into the dying fire, the pale orange light flickering over his face, until finally, Hayward turned to face him. “That’s pure bollocks, Windham.”

“How is it bollocks? I’m a Windham, Hayward, and if that isn’t bad enough, before I was a Windham I was a St. Giles guttersnipe. There isn’t a drop of worthy blood inside me.”

Hayward shook his head. “Those are your father’s words, not yours.”

“They’re both of our words. I’m just like?—”

“Stop it, Windham! For God’s sake, do you suppose your father would have gone to look for Lady Harriet tonight?

Do you think he would have protected her as you did?

He would have let Egerton drag her away and never given it a second thought.

That’s what your father would have done.

The man had no conscience. But you do. You always have. ”

Was that true? God, he didn’t know. He didn’t know anything anymore, except that he’d tried to do the right thing by Hattie when he’d cut off their correspondence. He’d been so sure it would be better for her to be rid of him, and yet…

Would he ever be able to stay away from Hattie? She’d been a part of him for as long as he could remember, the best part of him. Ending their friendship was like an amputation, as if he’d ripped his still beating heart from his chest.

“Listen to me, Windham, and try and get this through your thick skull, will you? If you were anything like your father, you never would have fallen in love with Lady Harriet at all. He didn’t have the first idea what love was, but you…

well, you’ve made a bloody mess of it, that’s certain, but that’s what gentlemen do when they fall in love. They make a mess of things.”

He’d certainly done that, hadn’t he? Although he’d had some help in that regard.

“Hattie thinks I’m the one who told Egerton about the letters she wrote to me.”

Hayward rolled his eyes. “Let me guess. Egerton told her that?”

“Yes. What if she despises me now? What if she believes it’s true, and never forgives me, Hayward?”

“Lady Harriet is far too clever to be taken in by Egerton’s lies. If you don’t believe me, Windham, ask her yourself. You’ll see.”

Cass grasped this slender thread of hope and held onto it with everything he had, because if she did despise him, and wouldn’t forgive him, what would become of him, then?

Even now, months after he’d tried to banish Hattie from his mind and his heart, he could still hear her voice in his head. Everywhere he went, everything he did, she was there with him.

He could see her still as she’d been on the first day, when he’d spied on her through the branches of the beech tree. A fair-haired sprite wearing a crown of wildflowers on her head, her lips curved in a smile as she made daisy chains for her sisters.

For them, and for him. She’d seen him that first day, and every day since.

All he’d ever wanted to do was protect her. From villains like Egerton, and from the ton , with their vicious, wagging tongues.

But most of all, he’d wanted to protect her from himself. From the wicked Earl of Windham, a wicked son, born to a wicked father.

Yet there was a single, fundamental truth behind all his arguments and doubts and excuses, and now he’d given it free reign it was swelling inside him, and it would not stop, it would not be contained. It rose and surged and grew until it was too powerful for him to ignore it any longer.

The truth was there, waiting. It always had been. One way or another, the truth will out.

He’d loved her since the first day he’d laid eyes on her in her brother’s meadow. Not romantically at first—they’d been far too young for that then—but for as long as he’d known her, there’d been a part of his heart that belonged to her alone.

He’d loved her before he even understood what love was.

There’d never been anyone for him but Hattie. Why had he fought against it for so long?

She was his . She’d always been his, just as he’d always been hers.

He’d waited twelve years for Hattie, and he’d wait the rest of his lifetime for her if he had to, but maybe, just maybe he wouldn’t have to.

“You’ve gone mysteriously quiet, Windham. Have I gotten through to you at last, or are you about to regale me with tales of your imagined wickedness?”

Cass turned to his friend, and a rush of gratitude swept through him. “You’re a good friend, Hayward. The best of friends.”

“Of course, I am. That’s never been in question.” Hayward rose to his feet with a mighty yawn and stretched his arms over his head. “Now that’s settled, I’ll see myself out, shall I? No doubt poor Massey is ready for his bed.”

Cass followed Hayward into the hallway but stopped him at the door. “I’m going to marry her, Hayward. Lady Harriet. I’m going to marry her.”

“Are you, indeed? Well done, Windham. A lady like that will be the making of you. But perhaps it can wait until tomorrow? I don’t think I can take any more excitement tonight.”