Page 19 of Always Choosing You: A YA Friends-to-Lovers Contemporary Romance

Not really dating.

Rory blasted music in her car on the way to Scoops the next night, but no volume could drown out the sound of Zoe’s words that played over and over in her head.

Part of it made a lot of sense; Tyler’s relationship with Zoe was really strange. But in any romance book or movie where the characters fake dated, the goal was usually to make someone else jealous—something Rory hated to admit had worked on her. Yet now that it had been made clear they were on the same page with their feelings, Tyler still hadn’t broken off the ruse. Whenever this trope played out in fiction, it always ended with the fake daters winding up in a relationship. It made her sick to even think it, but maybe the reason why Tyler hadn’t broken things off with Zoe—even after Zoe told him to go for it—was because he was developing feelings for Zoe as well.

She slammed her car door, ignoring Melanie’s concerned look at the outburst. Jay was standing a few feet away from Calvin, like being in his proximity would scar him. He moved swiftly once she approached, curling an arm around her waist. Calvin gave her a curt nod, not bothering to say a word to her as he pulled Melanie in and kissed the top of her head before leading them down Main Street to find Blake and Zach.

Losing the state championship certainly didn’t slow down Haverport when it came to its annual holiday festival. In fact, if anything, the loss spurred the town to celebrate even more, like they were trying to compensate for how close they’d come to winning State for the first time. Main Street was converted into a winter wonderland. Streams of garland twined around lampposts with big red bows. Wreaths were tied to shop doors, twinkly lights glistening in windows. Many of the shops and restaurants set up booths right outside for easier access, selling steaming mugs of hot chocolate, candy canes, fluffy winter scarves, and colorful streamers tied to the tips of sparkling wands.

“Where’d they say to meet them?” Melanie asked.

“Outside of the cafe,” Calvin responded, pointing to Seabreeze Café just down the road. “Blake said they’re selling white chocolate peppermint mochas again.”

“Oooo, tell him to get me one,” Melanie cheered.

“Headband, it’s almost eight o’clock at night, you don’t need more caffeine.”

Melanie slapped him playfully. “When has that ever stopped me before?”

“Yeah, army boy, let your girlfriend have caffeine. And sugar,” said Jay. “Stop being such a hard-ass.”

Calvin didn’t react. He just smiled, pulling Melanie closer to him as he planted a kiss on her forehead. “Then it’s a good thing I already told him to grab you one. My girlfriend can have whatever she wants.”

“Good, because for a second there, I thought I was going to have to beat you up,” Rory quipped.

“I’d pay to watch that,” Melanie teased.

They finally reached the cafe, finding Blake and Zach huddled together holding a tray with six massive lattes to go.

Rory and Melanie squealed, planting sloppy kisses on Blake’s cheeks as they took their coffees, Zach laughing at Blake’s embarrassment as he handed a latte to Jay. When he held out the last one to Calvin, a slim hand shot out and took the cup out of Zach’s grasp.

Rory’s body stiffened as she watched Jess take a sip of the latte, a smug look on her face as she eyed Blake’s boyfriend. “Zach, you’re new to the group, so let me fill you in,” Jess said. “Calvin doesn’t like joy or fun things. Sugary coffee falls into that category.”

To Rory’s surprise, Calvin laughed, his eyebrows raised as he shoved Jess slightly. “Funny coming from you.”

Jess just chuckled, a real smile blooming on her face. It was odd seeing Jess like this. She was pretty sure she could count on one hand the times she’d actually seen Jess happy.

Jess took another sip of her drink, eyeing her and Jay. His arm was still looped around her waist, his thumb running back and forth over the skin underneath her sweater. She gave her a feeble smile, but Jess just nodded. Relief washed over her, and she felt thankful for this unexpected little group of hers. This family, as Calvin elegantly put it.

They shuffled their way through the crowds, finding an empty pocket of sidewalk where they could settle in and wait for the parade. Blake was rehashing some kind of crazy story with Jay from that summer, the group laughing and teasing one another, but Rory remained silent. She couldn’t help but search the crowds, wondering if Tyler would show up. The Festival of Lights was his favorite. She’d joined the Chapmans over the years to watch the parade, standing too close to the street with Tyler as they caught candy tossed from the different colorful floats, the two of them competing for the biggest pile by the end of the night. Their tradition shifted to hanging with the Scoops crew during the parade, but he’d yet to show, yet to respond to any of them in the group text.

She needed to talk to him. Needed to confront him about what Zoe had confessed.

Not really dating.

The crowd cheered as Haverport High’s band marched down the streets, their light-strewn instruments making their horns shine like beacons in the night. The colorful floats soon followed, covered with more twinkling lights and more sparkly garlands, the scent of evergreen misting through the air as festive trucks strapped with trees and wreaths drove through.

Jess groaned. Rory looked over and saw her shaking her head, her face in her hands.

“It’s so over the top,” Jess grumbled.

Rory looked out and saw the float parading down the street; a truck that had been transformed into a colossal sled, with lights and silver bells intricately trimming the edges. Around it were smaller sleds lined with Christmas lights attached to bikes as riders cruised down the road, all dressed as elves. Sitting at the center of the float was Haverport’s fire chief, Ed Nickels, dressed in a Santa suit and waving, his jolly laugh booming across the crowd. And next to him, dressed like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, was Kevin. He wore a long-sleeved brown shirt and matching khaki pants, with a bright red flickering nose on his face. His hair was even long enough to tie into two buns at the top of his head to look like small antlers. He held out a large silver bucket, collecting money that townies tossed in for charity.

Calvin covered his mouth with his hand, trying not to laugh as Jess punched his arm. “Did you even try to stop him?”

“You know how he gets,” Calvin replied. “When he sets his mind to something, there’s literally nothing that will stop him.”

Jess sighed, turning back toward the float. “How much money did he sink into this?”

“I don’t think you want the answer to that. He finally let me look at his books.”

Jess turned around, eyebrow raised. “And?”

Calvin let out a lengthy breath. “It’s not looking good.”

“How bad?”

“He’s not pulling in enough business in the summer to make up for the off-season,” Calvin admitted. “If something doesn’t change, the bike shop will be closed by next fall.”

Rory caught Jess’s frown, the way her forehead creased as she processed this information. Jess glanced up at Rory briefly, her face flushed. Rory knew that whatever was going on wasn’t her business—she’d made that much clear the other night at the market. She smiled shyly and looked away, noticing two figures now approaching the group.

“So, are we still sneaking into Scoops tonight for some ice cream, or…?”

Rory stood there, stunned as the Scoopers cheered for Tyler’s surprise appearance. Zoe was with him, her arm linked with his. He was limping slightly, but on the move, a black brace clinging tightly to his knee over his jeans.

She remained quiet as Tyler filled everyone in on how he was doing. All about his knee and his recovery, but not a blip was spoken about football or losing the game. They knew him well enough not to bring it up.

Tyler kept sneaking glances at Rory, eyeing the way Jay held her possessively against him, but not saying a single word in her direction. At least Zoe had the courtesy to smile and say hi to her, even though she knew how pissed she likely still was.

Rory now noticed the way Zoe’s hand looked stiff on his arm, and how everything about the two of them felt clinical and practiced.How did I not notice it before? she wondered.

Tyler’s eyes were still on her. She wondered if he knew what Zoe had confessed to her, wondered what was going on in that head of his.

As the parade dwindled down and crowds moved, a familiar group of football players approached the Scoopers. Walker wobbled slightly at their helm, undeniably tipsy from whatever was in the flask he was not-so-discreetly hiding in his letterman jacket.

“Yo, Chapman,” Walker said loudly, slapping a hand on Tyler’s back that made him wince. “You good, man?”

“Been better,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry about the end of the game.”

“Yeah, well, if you hadn’t blown up your knee, we’d probably be champions,” he said.

Tyler’s face darkened but he didn’t budge. He looked down at his shoes.

Rory was seething. She pulled herself out of Jay’s grasp and walked right up to Walker. “Yeah, well, maybe if you guys didn’t suck without Tyler, he wouldn’t have to carry your asses to victory.”

“Woah, woah, Michaels, calm down,” Walker protested, holding his hands up in a show of innocence.

She felt her blood go hot as she stepped closer to Walker, invading his space. She could smell the cheap vodka on his breath. “Don’t ever tell me to calm down. You know I’m right, and you’re too much of a coward to admit it.”

She felt a hand on her shoulder. “Ry,” Tyler said softly.

“I’m not saying you’re wrong, Michaels,” Walker admitted. “What would you like me to say? That he’s the man because he’s the best football player Haverport has ever seen and he’s dating the hottest chick in school?”

“Yes,” Rory replied curtly. She flicked her eyes over to Zoe, curious to see her reaction at hearing Walker’s hottest chick in school comment. Zoe didn’t seem pleased, her arms crossed tightly against her chest as she glared at him.

Walker inhaled dramatically, turning to Tyler, who stopped him. “Don’t, dude. It’s fine,” he said. “Go sober up before someone catches you. The last thing you need is to lose your scholarship.”

Rory couldn’t believe how kind Tyler was being. Walker simply smiled and looked over at Zoe. “That’s probably why you’re dating him and not me, right? Stand-up guy and all.”

“Exactly why,” Zoe sneered. “Goodbye, Walker.”

The Scoopers all remained silent as Walker stepped away with his group, his eyes lingering on Zoe as he left.

Tyler’s hand was still on Rory’s shoulder. She looked into his eyes briefly, but before she could read his expression, Jay was pulling her out of Tyler’s grasp. “So,” Jay said behind her, both arms wrapped tightly around her waist. “Ice cream?”

The rest of the Scoopers confirmed, making their way toward the shop. Tyler hesitated, his eyes locked with Jay’s in a standoff. Rory felt like she was going to melt from the anger radiating off them. But Tyler soon cut his gaze, looping an arm with Zoe’s again as he turned from Rory, following the group up the street.

Jay didn’t budge, resting his chin on her shoulder. “You good, baby?”

“Um…I don’t know.”

“Because you went all wild animal for a moment.”

“He just…” She heaved a sigh. “Walker makes me so mad sometimes.”

“He’s clearly jealous that Tyler’s with Zoe,” Jay responded. “Which, is it just me, or is that relationship kind of weird? Maybe she should date Walker.”

Rory hated the way her heart fluttered at the thought of Zoe breaking things off with Tyler. But then the thought of that lovely blonde angel being with Walker made her head spin. Was that why Tyler was fake dating Zoe? To protect her from assholes like Walker?

She pulled herself out of his grasp. “Come on, let’s catch up with them.”

* * *

“Areyou sure you don’t want to come to the diner and hang out tonight?” Gabi asked. “They’ll have roast beef and sweet potato casserole and cheesy broccoli.”

Rory smiled, shaking her head. “Tempting, but I’m sure.”

Gabi sighed. “Fine. Come on by if you change your mind, okay?”

She nodded, watching Gabi leave for her shift. Rory sat on the couch, still in her pajamas, wrapping paper scattered across the floor. As promised, Gabi woke her up at the crack of dawn with coffee, pancakes, and presents under the tree, all so Rory could have some semblance of a normal Christmas before she had to leave for her shift at eight. They even FaceTimed her grandparents, but their reception cut out as they cruised across the Caribbean, looking sunburnt and blissfully happy.

Despite being as busy as she was, Gabi nailed it with her presents this year. Ten bottles of nail polish for Rory’s signature rainbow nails and a fancy new sketchbook with a set of pencils. “Your one from the dollar store is looking ratty,” Gabi said. “An artist needs the right set of tools.”

Rory got her a new set of inserts for her sneakers, which had Gabi cackling as she made fun of her mom for getting older. She also got her a new case for her headphones that clipped on her keys (Gabi was constantly losing them), and as a joke, a bright red thong. “Come on, none of the other bartenders catching your eye?” Rory teased. Gabi flicked Rory’s arm and told her to watch it, but not before a smile sneaked across her lips.

It wasn’t like everything was fixed between the two of them, but after their night of eating buffalo chicken pizza and staying up far too late watching two movies from her Disney list, things felt marginally better. So much so that Rory found herself letting go of the Fred Barry mystery.

Her phone started buzzing from inside the couch cushions where it must’ve slipped during gift-unwrapping. Rory fished for it, expecting it to be Jay calling her to wish her a Merry Christmas. She hadn’t heard from him at all since the Festival of Lights. She figured he’d been busy with his family, and truthfully was okay with the distance. Having space to think didn’t feel like such a bad thing.

But it wasn’t Jay. When she saw who was calling, she rushed to answer, fumbling with her phone as she held it up to her cheek. “Hello?”

“Joyeux No?l, mon amour,” Bea said on the other line. “You won’t believe what I got.”

She chuckled, remembering how Tyler told her that Bea was taking French this year, and how she loved sneaking it into any and every conversation. “Bonjour, princess. Do tell.”

“Bea, who is that?!” She heard Tyler’s deep voice in the background. Then some wrestling and laughter as Tyler pulled the phone out of Bea’s grasp.

“Sorry about that,” Tyler said, and her heart pounded in her chest at the sound of his voice. “We clearly need to have a conversation about boundaries.”

“Since when do we have boundaries with Rory?” Bea protested next to him. “Tell her to come over here.”

Tyler just chuckled, and then, to Rory’s surprise, he did. “Get over here.”

She felt panicked. Things were still so unsettled between the two of them. So much they needed to talk about…so much she needed to say to him. “Um, I’m still in my pajamas, and—”

“So are we,” Tyler said.

Rory turned around, looking through the window above the couch. Tyler was looking out from his own living room window next door, Bea beside him. She wore a silky pink matching pajama set, and Tyler was still in his sweats, his durag tied to his head.

Her heart stuttered at the sight of him. “I’m not sure if I—”

“Look,” he explained, a smile blooming on his face. “Mom made way too much gumbo, as per usual, and she’s about to pull some beignets out of the fryer.”

Rory moaned, her stomach growling even though she just downed a mountain of chocolate chip pancakes.

“You should not be alone today,” Tyler said adamantly. “Now, get over here and I’ll let you put as much powdered sugar as you want on your beignet without judging you, and we can even watch whatever Disney movie is next on that list of yours.”

“And make friendship bracelets!” Bea yelled, holding up a plastic case of beads to show Rory what she got for Christmas.

Rory grinned. “Alright, fine, you relentless piece of crap,” she said. “I’m coming.”

* * *

Rory remainedin her pajamas the rest of the day—a festive pair of Christmas flannel pants and her favorite Haverport sweatshirt that was fraying at the seams. She kicked her feet up on the ottoman in front of the Chapman’s couch and rubbed her belly as she let out a satisfied sigh, her stomach bursting from the all-day New Orleans–inspired feast—beignets, shrimp and grits, gumbo, chive biscuits, and bananas foster that Mrs. Chapman let her flambé despite Tyler’s utter terror. True to his word, he did not judge her for the amount of powdered sugar she put on her beignets, but he didn’t hold back his laughter when she ended up coughing from the overload, some of the sugar shooting out of her nose.

Despite her full stomach, she didn’t object as Mrs. Chapman came around with spiced hot chocolates, each mug overflowing with pillowy homemade whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkled on top. She handed one to her and Tyler. “None for you, Mom?” he asked.

“Honey, I am beat, I need to go to bed.”

“It was all so delicious, Mrs. Chapman. Thank you,” Rory said.

“Anytime, sweet thing. Do you want me to take Bea up with me?” She pointed down to Bea, who was now curled up and sleeping between her and Tyler. Bea’s arms were covered in the friendship bracelets they’d made together, a few stacked up Rory’s wrists as well.

Rory just smiled, brushing a hand over Bea’s warm cheek. “Nah, let her sleep.”

“You’re a saint, child,” Mrs. Chapman teased. She looked over at Tyler. “Not too late, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The two of them sat there watching the Scat Cat sing his iconic “Everybody Wants to Be a Cat” and listening to Mr. Chapman snore softly in the recliner next to the couch.

Rory felt Tyler’s gaze on her, and heat rose in her cheeks. It was easy being around him and his family, a blissful distraction from what was brewing. But now with the house silent, the lights from the tree and the television illuminating the room, she sensed the mood shifting.

She checked her phone again, trying to escape the pull she felt toward him. But her screen was blank. Still no word from Jay.

“Hey, look. Snow,” Tyler whispered.

She glanced out the back door and noticed flurries trickling down, sticking to the porch. “Wow, I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen it snow on Christmas.”

“Want to go outside?”

She nodded, lifting Bea’s head gently and placing a pillow under it. She picked up her mug, watching Tyler sit up, his face twisted in pain as he stretched out his leg.

“Don’t,” he said, pointing at her. “Your face says it all.”

She frowned. “When my best friend is in pain, yeah, I’m going to be concerned.”

“Rory, I’m fine,” he said. “But if you insist, you can carry my hot chocolate so I can unlock the door.”

She followed his instructions, then followed Tyler as he hobbled outside into the darkness, featherlight snowflakes dancing under the moonlight. She shivered from the cold, but Tyler was already one step ahead of her, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders. He laid another blanket on the deck and motioned for her to sit, holding the railing as he lowered himself down next to her with a hefty grunt.

He took his mug from her. “You going to share some of this blanket or nah?”

She nodded, and Tyler lifted a corner and cuddled underneath it. They were now sitting so close his body heat warmed up their little cocoon. She could barely breathe.

“Thanks for inviting me over today,” she whispered.

“You know you don’t need to wait for an invite, Ry,” he responded. “But I know things have been…weird between us. And I’m sorry for that. I screwed up.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What are you talking about? I screwed up.”

He shook his head. “I was so angry at myself for losing the game, and you were an easy target. I shouldn’t have blamed you for anything.”

“It shouldn’t have been all on you to win that game, Tyler.”

“I know,” he exhaled. “We were so close. And if I’d just—”

“Hey, look at me.”

He did, his eyes briefly scanning her lips before meeting her gaze. She ignored the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. “You still had an awesome season, even broke school records. You should feel proud of that.”

He didn’t respond, but his bashful smile warmed her down to her toes. She took a sip of her hot chocolate and stared up at the snow, a few flakes landing in her hair. Her mind was racing as she tried thinking through the right way to say what she needed to say, to tell him the truth about what she knew.

Before she laced together the right words, she felt his warm hand on her chin, turning it toward his face. “You have whipped cream on your nose.”

He wiped it off with his thumb but didn’t immediately move his hand, still cupping her chin. His face was so close, his breath on her lips, the smell of spiced chocolate swirling between them. Her words melted away as she let his warmth seep into her. She wanted him to close the gap, to taste his lips again.

The back door slid open with an abrupt slam, causing the two of them to jump, dribbles of hot chocolate and whipped cream spilling onto their laps.

“It’s SNOWING!” Bea screamed, running out onto the lawn, the cuffs of her pajama pants getting soaked as she twirled.

Car lights beamed from Rory’s driveway, stealing the moment’s perfect darkness. She glanced in a panic to see who it was, wondering if it was Jay surprising her. But she relaxed when she saw Gabi stepping from the car, holding a box of leftover pie.

“I should, um—” she stammered.

“Yeah, okay.”

She stepped away, mumbling to him about thanking his mom again before hastily heading back home. Once she was inside, she shuffled away from the windows and leaned against the wall.

“I’m getting comfy and then we’re going to eat this entire pumpkin pie,” Gabi said cheerfully as she made her way up the stairs, oblivious to Rory’s anxious state.

Rory was frozen to the wall, trying to get control of herself. Those few moments with Tyler were the most exhilarating she’d had since she kissed him last month. She’d never felt that way about Jay. He was a good kisser, but he never left her breathless. Tyler didn’t even kiss her tonight and it had her pulse skyrocketing.

She reached for her phone, opening up her last text with Jay. Without giving herself a moment to overthink it, she started typing.

This isn’t working anymore. I’m sorry.

She hit Send, then turned off her phone.