Page 27 of Alphas Never Hide (Willow Lake Supernaturals #5)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

RYLEY

I didn’t think getting my dick sucked could be a transcendent experience, but I didn’t know how else to describe it. I felt like I’d just survived an out-of-body episode. Sex with Hayden was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. It wasn’t a mere sexual release; it was an emotional connection.

“ Come here,” I said. “ Let me help you get off, first. Then we’ll see what we feel like doing next.” I hoped it’d involve buckets of lube and Hayden losing control on my dick, but I was ready to be open-minded. If a blow job could rock my world that much, I was pretty sure anything else we did would be equally spine-tingling.

I scooted back on the bed so he could crawl up beside me. His hard, thick dick swung between his legs. It was an impressive sight.

“ It won’t take long,” he said. “ Lie back and let me look at you. ”

“ Straddle me. Come on my chest,” I said. Where the fuck had those words come from? I wasn’t a prude, but I rarely got off on someone marking me with their load. Yet , here I was, begging for it.

Hayden sucked in a quick breath and nodded, and in the next beat of my heart, he was straddling my hips. Oh , my alpha liked that idea. I reached for him, but he swatted my hands away.

“ Fuck , Ry ,” he moaned as he stroked his cock hard and fast. “ You are so fucking beautiful. You’re going to look even better covered in my cum.”

I licked my lips, drawing his attention to my mouth. I opened wide, offering my mouth to him. He grunted. His hand jerked faster. His gaze collided with mine and, in that moment, his muscles tightened as he came on a low, deep groan. His gaze locked on mine as his release spurted across my skin.

“ That was so hot,” I whispered, drawing my finger through his warm release.

His eyes locked on my movement. The bright light of his wolf shone in his eyes. I grinned and brought it to my mouth to taste. I lapped at it and moaned. I pushed my finger all the way into my mouth before closing my lips around it and pulling it out slowly.

“ If I hadn’t come already…” Hayden murmured, then he was leaning forward and kissing me. Hard . Thoroughly .

I was a shifter—at least half of my genetic coding was—and that was enough to ensure my recovery time was faster than a human’s. It looked like Hayden’s matched mine, because it didn’t take long for either of us to be ready for another round .

“ I want you inside me this time,” Hayden said.

“ Fuck , yes,” I agreed. I patted the mattress to find the lube. I just had it. “ Where is it?”

“ What ?”

“ The lube.”

It couldn’t have gotten far. But what if we’d lost it? Jake had said we could ask for anything we needed, but did I have the balls to phone and ask for a lube delivery to the room? That would be awkward. Where would they store things like that? Would Hayden know where it was? We could sneak in and raid the supply cupboard.

Visions of Hayden and me, reeking of sex and tiptoeing through the inn in search of lube, filled my mind. What were the odds of us getting caught? We could do it, right? And if we found their stash of supplies, we should grab several because our complimentary container was too small to last the night. Oh , wait… There would be more lube in the other room. Aha ! Excellent plan!

I got halfway to the door when Hayden growled. “ Where are you going?”

“ To the other room to grab the other lube,” I said.

“ Naked ?”

I glanced down. Right . Clothes . And I should probably wipe off the drying cum too. Although I wasn’t sure I wanted to, not quite yet.

“ Get back in bed. The lube can’t be that far,” Hayden said.

I bleated, which startled me. I sounded like a kid impatient for their supper. I couldn’t remember the last time I bleated.

Hayden chuckled and shook his head. “ We’ll find it. It couldn’t have gone far.” He climbed off the bed and checked the floor. “ Here it is.”

“ Thank fuck,” I muttered and jumped on the bed again. Still , if we planned on doing more tonight, we might still need to raid the other room later. It was a good contingency plan.

Hayden tossed the lube to me. “ Here . You take it. Get me ready.”

He climbed on the bed and propped himself on his hands and knees.

“ Gorgeous ,” I whispered as I took in the way he’d presented himself to me: his strong muscular back on display, his firm ass lifted toward me, his thick legs with their light dusting of hair, holding himself up for me. I almost came, and I hadn’t even touched him yet.

I squeezed the base of my dick to get it to calm down. He hadn’t done this before, so prepping him was important. Imperative . My number one priority. I took my time with him and used as much lube as I thought I could spare while still leaving enough to coat my dick later. It was more lube than I usually used, but this was Hayden’s first experience bottoming. I needed him to feel good. It’d kill me if he trusted me with his first time and I botched it.

“ Come on, Ry ,” Hayden muttered. “ I’m ready. Fuck me already.”

As soon as the words were out, both Hayden and I stilled, because this didn’t feel like fucking. The word sat awkwardly between us. But what else could it be?

“ I don’t want to hurt you,” I said.

“ I trust you.” He wiggled his ass with my fingers still inside. “ And I feel at least, what? Two fingers? ”

“ Three ,” I confided.

“ Yeah . If you have three fingers in my ass, I’m ready.”

I blew out my breath. He was right. Why was I so anxious about this? No one had ever complained I was a terrible lover in my past. Sure , some of us had more chemistry than others, but?—

Why was I thinking about past lovers when I had the sexiest man I’d ever met waiting for me? I looked down at him and dragged my hands over his back. My cock was hard and so ready to do this, but something wasn’t right. This was my favorite position, entering a man from behind, feeling his muscles tense as he braced for my thrusts, but that wasn’t what I wanted this time. This position was too impersonal. I needed to see Hayden’s face. I needed to kiss him.

“ Get on your back,” I said as I swatted his ass lightly.

He hesitated a moment before flipping over. Hayden watched me as I grabbed a pillow and tucked it under his ass. I moved between his spread legs. He looked so damn turned on and vulnerable all at once that it nearly undid me. I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“ Are you sure you want this?” I asked.

“ Yes .” The single syllable word said so much more than yes. It said, more than anything, I want you, you are more than I could have imagined .

Or those might just have been my own thoughts.

I positioned the crown of my cock against him. Hayden held his legs open wider. I pressed forward, slowly, steadily. Our gazes locked as our bodies joined.

“ Hayden .” I whispered his name reverently, because there was something magical and beautiful and so fucking tender growing between us. I needed to acknowledge it. I needed to know he was there with me, not only in body, but in spirit, too.

We simply stared at one another for a long moment. He reached for me, pulling me down until our mouths met in an exquisite and oh so fucking gentle kiss that seemed to convey all the things I was too overwhelmed to put into words. The place where my magic lived burst to life, and I swore I could feel it rush through me, filling me, until it was too much to contain.

As we moved together, I was sure my heightened emotions were playing tricks on me because I swore lights sparkled to life around us. I blinked. No , it wasn’t lights, it was magic. And something deep inside me told me this wasn’t just any magic, but our magic—mine and Hayden’s . It burst free from our bodies to dance and spiral around us. The vivid, rich green of his wolf shifter magic and the pale yellowy-green of my own shimmered as they wove together until they merged into something that wasn’t his or mine, but ours.

I’d never seen anything like it. I would never have thought a half-supe like myself could experience it. How did I have enough magic to manifest it like this? But here it was. Beautiful seemed an inadequate word to describe it.

The swirling magic pulsed in time to the rhythm of our bodies, faster and brighter. I sank deep inside him with each thrust, needing to be as close as possible to him, and Hayden’s hips rocked against mine as if feeling the same need. His wolf shone through his eyes, and when his mouth dropped open, I saw the sharp edges of his elongated canines .

Yes . I wanted that. I wanted him to bite me and taste my blood. I wanted everything with this man. I wanted him forever. I never wanted to be without him.

“ My mate,” I choked out.

“ My mate,” he agreed. Then Hayden’s eyes widened, as if he was surprised by his own words. His grip tightened on me.

Something in the air changed. At first, I thought we were on the precipice of our release, but it was more than that. Love and joy and such an immense feeling of home surged through me.

Strange words in a language I didn’t know started falling from my lips. I’d never heard them before, but I wasn’t scared. Instinctively , I recognized the ancient incantation as a magic-filled blessing from the Eternal Magic herself.

“ Ryley , no.” Hayden’s fingers bit into my hips. “ You deserve so much better.”

The words poured from my mouth. I couldn’t stop them to soothe him, so I did what I could with my body. I held him tight, willing him to understand that I was choosing this. Choosing him .

He relaxed in my arms. Then he shuddered and moaned, succumbing to the power of this moment like I had. As soon as his mouth opened again, the same magic-laden words burst from his lips too.

As our voices joined as intimately as our bodies, our magic became brighter and more radiant. It pulsed like it had a heartbeat of its own, as if to suggest we were no longer two separate individuals but one. Somehow , the magic from my core kept feeding it, nurturing it. I’d thought I barely had enough magic to shift, but here it was, streaming from me strong and full like it had no end, and Hayden’s was right there with it.

When the words faded, I slammed my mouth onto Hayden’s . Then our bodies raced toward completion. I was so damn close, but I needed Hayden to be there with me. I reached between us and stroked his hard length. He grunted and bucked into my grip. On a low groan, he shuddered. As soon as his release sprayed across my stomach, my own climax had me shuddering and shooting deep inside him. Marking him as mine.

All around us, our merged magic, that beautiful green with a hint of yellow that reminded me of pine needles, erupted in a dazzling explosion. The shimmering sparkles of magic floated down to us, coating us, until they faded into our sweat-soaked skin.

I lifted up to look into Hayden’s eyes, scared of what I’d find there. He’d tried to stop me from speaking the Eternal Magic’s words. Had he not wanted this? Not wanted me?

Hayden swallowed and looked away.

“ Hayden ?”

“ I’m sorry,” he whispered.

My first reaction was one of anger, but I knew that anger was born out of fear. Fearing this man the Eternal Magic had given me was about to reject me was easy. And I didn’t think he was rejecting me . I suspected he was rejecting himself, if that made sense.

I brushed the sweat-damp hair from his forehead. A wide streak of that pine needle green marked his hair. It was the color of our combined magic. I caressed the strands with my fingers, but I didn’t mention it. Not yet. He wasn’t ready yet, even though he could probably see a matching patch of green in my own hair. I wanted to keep combing my fingers through it, this manifestation of what’d happened. Instead , I forced myself to pull my hand back. I adjusted my glasses, which had miraculously survived what we’d done, but I didn’t climb off him. If I did, I was sure he’d bolt.

“ Hayden , I don’t regret this. I could never regret you.”

He sucked in a shuddering breath. I wrapped my arms around him, and he pulled me tight and pressed his face into my neck.

“ The Eternal Magic is a bitch,” he muttered.

“ Why ?” I asked, trying not to be offended that he was cursing the entity that’d just joined our lives together.

“ You deserve so much better,” he whispered. “ When the others mated, the Eternal Magic had given them time. They weren’t joined their first time together. They had time to decide if that’s what they wanted. But not me. Oh no. She had to do this now, like she was determined to trap you with me before you knew enough to make your escape. She’s been trying to control my life for years and now she’s fucking with yours too.”

“ There is a lot to unpack in what you just said, but I’m not trapped,” I said. “ I’m where I want to be.”

He rolled us to our sides, and I shivered as I slipped free of his body. I rested my hand on his hip, determined to hold him in this bed so we could talk through whatever was going on in his head. He finally met my gaze .

“ How could it be? You were hesitant to join the pack, but being my mate, that’s more. That’s permanent.” His forehead crinkled. “ Although Teague might be able to sever?—”

I froze. It was either that or double over in pain. “ Are you… Are you rejecting me?”

“ What ? No !” He looked surprised.

“ Then why are you talking about severing our brand-new mate bond?”

“ I want you to have a choice,” he said.

“ I had a choice. I chose you.” I shoved aside the magic-deep pain I felt at the talk of removing our bond and held his gaze. I needed him to understand this. I needed him to pay attention to what I was about to say. “ I may not be as old as you, but I know it takes two people to decide that they are mates and accept that before the bond will form. You and I might not know everything about each other, but we don’t have any important secrets between us. If we did, the Eternal Magic would not have given us her blessing. I understand why you don’t know if you can trust this but believe me when I say I wanted this. And I think you did too.”

My heart pounded as I waited for his answer. Please let me be right .

“ I’ll always want you, Ryley . I suspected we might be mates before we got into bed tonight. I knew it was a possibility and I …” He swallowed. “ I chose you too.”

“ Oh , thank Magic ,” I said. The breath I’d been holding while I waited for his answer blasted out of me.

Hayden pulled me close again. “ I’m sorry if my reaction hurt you. That wasn’t my intention. But it’s all happened so fast. I can’t help but think the Eternal Magic has rushed us. First the whole alpha thing happened, and now this?” He shuddered. “ I know you picked up on enough of the conversation tonight to know that I’ve denied my role as alpha for a long time. Twelve years. Ever since my parents died. I let all those people down. I let down my pack.”

I doubted that was true. “ Tell me about it.”

“ I froze. I couldn’t cope. All those people were depending on me and I just walked away. I disbanded the pack. I sold the pack house right away and gave whoever hadn’t left with Robbie a share of the money I got for it. I couldn’t stand to be here. I couldn’t handle all the memories.”

He paused and sucked in a shaky breath.

“ The whole pack lived here?” I asked, because that just didn’t sound possible.

“ Back then, the official pack was just made up of wolves. My parents had wanted to change that. Having a whole bunch of different kinds of supes living in Willow Lake was their dream. But , no, not even all the wolves lived here, but a lot of them did. So , all those people lost not only their pack but their homes too.” Tears shimmered in his eyes.

I wished I could ease his pain, but all I could do was listen and be there for him.

“ But the worst part was that I let my brother get away with doing all that. Van was sure he killed my parents, but there wasn’t enough evidence.”

I gaped. Robbie had killed his own parents? Even in my darkest moments in my old herd, I’d never wanted to do that. What kind of person would? But why was I even surprised? Robbie had tried to kill Hayden too, hadn’t he? “ Do you think he did it?”

“ I didn’t want to. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It was just so… so…” He swallowed hard. “ But if I’d stopped him then, he wouldn’t have been able to hurt anyone else. I don’t know why they would ever want me to be their alpha. I’ve been hiding for twelve years. Alphas shouldn’t hide. Pack should always come first.”

“ I think you’re too hard on yourself.” I wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks. “ You were young and going through a traumatic experience. No one should have expected you to take care of the pack when you were grieving, both for your parents and for your brother’s betrayal. It wasn’t fair to thrust you into that.”

“ I wasn’t that young,” he argued. Because of course he did.

“ In shifter years, yes, you were,” I said. “ In my herd, kids weren’t considered adults until they were at least a hundred.” Well , except for me. I was deemed to be too human, so I’d been labeled an adult at eighteen and encouraged to move out of my mother’s house. She allowed me to stay until I was in my mid-twenties, but by then it’d become too much. I not only left the house, I left the whole herd. In all honesty, I hadn’t been ready. The herd hadn’t prepared me to live on my own. It’d been damn tough in the beginning.

But my brother, a purebred faun, was still considered a kid at that same age. He would have only turned twenty-five this past spring. Maybe when he was an adult, we could meet up. Would he remember who I was in another seventy-five years? Would I recognize him? How long would I even live? My mother had always told me my life would be short, like my father’s.

“ Wolves don’t live as long as other supernatural beings like fauns. We aren’t considered pups past the age of twenty,” Hayden said.

I sighed, because of course he was still arguing. “ But you’ll still live longer than a mundane human.” I paused as something occurred to me. “ Wait . You think I have all the same magic as a full faun, right? Do you think I’ll live as long as they do?”

“ Huh . I hadn’t thought of that, but yeah. You are a faun. Full stop.”

“ We’ll have a long life ahead of us, if that’s the case.” I grinned. “ Now that we’re mated and blessed by the Eternal Magic , your life span will have extended to match mine.”

That little gift from the Eternal Magic was one of the biggest perks of being a fated mate. It didn’t make us immortal—anyone could be killed—but, if we lived to the end of our natural lifespan, we would never be without one another. I liked the idea of him being at my side for the rest of my life. My grin widened.

“ I’m being an ass, aren’t I ?” He finally met my gaze. “ I’m surprised you’re accepting this so easily.”

I thought about it. “ I guess I am. I will admit that earlier I hadn’t planned on staying in Willow Lake .”

Hayden whined a little, and his eyes flashed with the golden light of his wolf. I rubbed his hip to soothe him.

“ But I didn’t realize you were my mate then.” I swallowed. “ I am still apprehensive about what will happen when your pack realizes I am your mate. Not only am I not a wolf, but I’m only half-supe. Don’t say your pack won’t care, because you can’t know that. Not yet. I will admit they’re more welcoming than any other pack or group of supes I’ve known, but we can’t predict what’ll happen.”

“ Actually , we probably can,” Hayden said. “ I think Jake’s had a vision of us.”

“ Really ? What did the vision show?”

“ I don’t know, but I saw the way he reacted the first time he saw you. He recognized you. The only way that’d happen is if he’d already seen you.” Then Hayden frowned. “ And the assholes kept it from me.”

“ Would it have changed anything?”

“ No ,” he admitted. “ But it makes me wonder what other secrets they’ve been keeping from me.”

He looked at me, really looked at me. Something pulsed in the air between us.

“ I will do everything I can to be a worthy mate to you,” he promised. “ I will undoubtedly make mistakes and say shit I shouldn’t. Let’s face it, I already did within the first few minutes of receiving our mate bond. That must be some kind of record. Sometimes I feel like that is all I do, make one mistake after another. But I will never hurt you intentionally. I didn’t mean to make you think I didn’t want you. Because I do. Despite what happened tonight, I’m not cut out to be an alpha. And I’m scared I won’t be a good mate either.”

I could have said something like “you are the perfect mate for me”, but I doubted that’d help ease his worries.

“ No one is perfect,” I said instead. “ I can promise you I’m not perfect either. We’ll have to learn to be good mates for one another. The Eternal Magic provides her blessing, but that doesn’t mean that everything will be easy from here on out. We still have a lot to learn about one another. But the important thing is that we both want to try. You do, right? Want to try?”

He swallowed hard. “ Yes . I do.”

“ Phew ,” I said with a laugh. I pretended to brush sweat off my brow.

A tiny smile played over his lips, and I took that as a victory.

“ Hi , mate,” I whispered.

“ Hi , mate,” he whispered back.

We grinned at one another and any lingering tension faded away. Yeah . That was better. We’d be okay. I hoped.