Page 17 of Alpha Wolf’s Arranged Bride (Rose Hollow Wolves #1)

The thrill of being with Scarlett again obliterates all else. As I lay beside her, my mind is completely clear, as if just touching her is enough to bring my soul peace.

I’m about to roll over and put my arm around her when she suddenly gets up and hurries to the house. She doesn’t say a word to me, and she doesn’t look back.

Fuck.

I’m a little stunned, and it takes me a second to get up and follow her.

What did I do wrong?

I tried to hold myself back, but there was five years’ worth of longing inside me, begging to be satisfied. I’ve been so restrained since she came back into my life, I just couldn’t stop myself.

And I thought she wanted me, too…

I go through the back door, closing it behind me as I listen for Scarlett’s footsteps. It doesn’t surprise me that she’s already upstairs and halfway down the main hall.

Checking on Jarrod.

I try to tell myself that’s the only reason she ran off so suddenly. Because she was worried about her son, and it had nothing to do with me.

Maybe when I get upstairs, we can talk about what just happened. I don’t want this marriage to be fake, and it feels like she doesn’t, either.

When I get upstairs, though, she’s curled up in bed with the covers wrapped around her. I know she’s not asleep, but this is still the universal gesture of “don’t disturb me,” so I figure I'd better not say anything.

As I get into bed, I look over at her, a million questions burning the tip of my tongue. I can’t believe she really wants to go to sleep without discussing what just happened.

Maybe she’s overwhelmed and doesn’t know what to say.

A flicker of discomfort sparks deep in my guts as I think about her reaction and what else it could mean.

There is definitely something going on with her. Secrets she doesn’t want me to know. Personal ones about Jarrod’s father, and probably about Eccles and their magic, too.

Both ideas frustrate me and make me feel a little betrayed. I thought she’d trust me enough to tell me the truth about Jarrod’s father, and her secrets about Eccles could hurt my entire pack. If something terrible happens and she is aware of the danger, I could never forgive her.

As I lay down and try to get comfortable, I think about my own secrets. It’s terrible to admit it, but I still have my own lies to deal with, and it’s perfectly plausible that she doesn’t trust me simply because I won’t trust her.

I sigh, staring at the ceiling, wondering if I should turn over and just spill everything right here and now. I tilt my head to listen to her breathing. To my surprise, Scarlett is already asleep.

There goes that idea.

Slowly, I relax. I can feel sleep creeping up on me, even as my mind continues to worry over little details. One by one, they release and drop away, leaving only one that I can’t let go of.

Why would she say I’m the only one she’s ever been with when there was obviously Jarrod’s father? Was the situation that bad that she couldn’t talk about him at all?

The idea fills me with a terrible mix of protective anger and fierce jealousy, until the idea strikes me that maybe the guy died and that’s why she won’t speak of it.

That would change my perception of the situation for sure.

The intensity of my feelings starts to exhaust me, and I don’t resist it as my thoughts begin to wind down. Sleep takes me, and I drop into chaotic dreams of chasing Scarlett through the woods, but whenever I get close enough to touch her, she is suddenly miles away.

I get so frustrated that the next time I catch up to her, I lunge forward and grab, trying to keep her from vanishing. The movement is almost violent, and I tip straight out of bed and land on the floor with a heavy thump.

Well. That was exciting. Does it count as sleepwalking?

Sitting up, I rub my head and look over at Scarlet. My dream-leaping didn’t wake her up, but she doesn’t look like she’s sleeping well, either.

I can’t keep her prisoner here. I really do love her and want her to be happy, and that means I’ll always respect her wishes, even if it hurts me.

Getting up, I put on my robe and head downstairs. Even though my heart is heavy, my mind is clear, and I feel calmer than I have in days.

I know what to do now. I don’t know how to work this out between the packs and keep the treaty in place, but I won’t make Scarlett miserable anymore. No fucking way.

I’m oiling a frying pan when Scarlett comes into the kitchen. I expect to feel anxious, but the feeling doesn’t come. Instead, all I feel is resignation and a sense of loss.

“Good morning,” I say.

Scarlett just nods as she pours a cup of coffee. “Morning,” she says softly.

“I really need to talk to you,” I say, putting the frying pan aside.

Scarlett looks up at me, her eyes wide. “Rex, last night, I—”

“Please, let me speak,” I say, not wanting to cut her off but needing her to hear my piece first. “I completely understand if you need to be with Jarrod’s father,” I begin.

“I know you were brought here against your will, just for the alliance, and your heart really isn’t in this.

You share a bond with the man you had a child with, and I can’t get in the way of that. ”

“Rex,” she cuts in, but I hold up a hand to show her I’m not done.

“Even if something happened, and you can’t be with him, I can’t force you to stay with me. If that’s why you keep shutting down, I want you to know I understand.”

With every word I say, Scarlett’s eyes get wider, and I feel like I’ve started to run in the wrong direction, but I can’t understand why.

“The situation between the packs can be navigated,” I say. “It won’t be easy, but we’ll manage something. I’m not sure things with Eccles are going to go smoothly even if you stay with me, so it might not even matter. But the alliance shouldn’t be your only reason for staying here.”

“Rex,” Scarlett says determinedly. Her eyes are narrowing, and she’s pressing her lips together the way she does when her temper is rising.

Why is she getting mad? I’m trying to do the right thing!

“I want you to know, I have strong feelings for you,” I go on, hoping that I’m conveying my emotions without fully exposing my heart. “And I am crazy-jealous, but I’ve decided my own happiness isn’t as important as yours.”

“Rex…” she breathes, shaking her head a little. “What the actual fuck?”

“I’m not saying this just to protect my own secrets,” I say, suddenly realizing she might think I’m trying to get rid of her. “But there really is a lot I can’t tell you, especially if we end up going our separate ways.”

“Rex,” she says firmly. “I—”

“It’s okay,” I reassure her in a soothing tone. “I understand.”

“No, you really fucking don’t!” she yells. “I can’t believe you’re saying these things to me. Did you think this through for even a second?”

“I’ve been thinking about it all night!” I snap back. “Not to mention the last few days!”

“I told you last night you’re the only man I’ve ever been with. What part of that did you not understand?”

“The part where you have a son!” I yell. “Obviously, there had to be someone else. And right after I was with you, if his age is anything to go by.”

Scarlett laughs, a sudden bubble of sarcastic mirth. Her hands come up to cover her mouth as a single tear streaks down her cheek.

“I can’t believe this,” she mutters. This is literally un-fucking-believable.”

“What?” I mutter. “I don’t even care if you never tell me who he is. I’d rather not know. Just go. We’ll spend today going over things with the elders.”

“You really want to get rid of me that badly?”

“No!” I protest. “I’d love for you and Jarrod to stay.

These last few days with him have been great, and I’ve enjoyed some of my time with you, too.

That’s why I’m doing this, though. I can’t stand to see you so unhappy and constantly faking your contentment.

When you pull away from me, I know you’re thinking about someone else, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. ”

Scarlett covers her mouth with her hands again, trying to hold in a laugh. Another tear streaks down her cheek, and I don’t know if it’s from joy or grief.

“Rex, I can’t believe I actually have to spell this out, but when I said you’re the only man I’d ever been with, I meant it—with no exceptions.”

“But—”

“Rex!” she barks, not letting me interrupt. “You are Jarrod’s father!”

Her words hit me right in the chest like a barrage of silver bullets. I actually take a step back from her and hang on to the kitchen counter.

What… what the fuck?

I can hear Scarlett’s voice, but my ears are ringing as if I just survived a massive explosion. I also feel shaky and off-balance, like the world is tilting beneath my feet.

“What?” I mutter.

Scarlet comes towards me, grabbing my shoulders and making me look into her eyes. “You are Jarrod’s father!” she says again. “When you ran off and abandoned me, I was pregnant. You left me, and your son, Rex.”

“Scarlett—” I want to deny it, but suddenly, everything falls into place. The way I feel when I look into Jarrod’s pale brown eyes, his sweet smile, and the way his scent speaks to me.

From the very beginning, I thought he smelled like family, but I didn’t think too much about it. I just thought because he is part of Scarlett, he’s also part of me.

With the impeccably vision of hindsight, I can see every single moment where I denied this truth, and how flimsy my arguments against it were. As horrible as it is, it was easier to be jealous of another man than admit Jarrod was really my son, and I abandoned him along with his mother.

“Rex,” she says, putting her hands on my cheeks. “Do I need to say it again?”

I shake my head, feeling my heart rate increasing as my body reacts to the news.

I have a son! All this time, I had a child I didn’t know about!

Fuck! I’m the deadbeat who left her!

“Rex, listen,” she says, looking into my eyes. “Jarrod is your son.”

A moment of silence falls, and it’s so intense, I fear breaking it. I don’t even know what I’d say, and when my mind races on to telling Jarrod this news, I seize up even worse.

“Mom?” a soft voice speaks from behind me.

I whirl around to see Jarrod standing in the kitchen doorway. Scarlett steps up beside me, her hand over her mouth as her eyes widen with shock.

Jarrod looks between both of us, his gold eyes keen and sharp. He looks confused and scared, but there’s a touch of fury and determination in him that is all me. Everything from the tilt of his head to the curve of his lip to the set of his shoulders is familiar.

“Mom,” he demands. “What the hell are you talking about?”