Page 10 of Almost Midnight (Vampire Detective Midnight #8)

CHAPTER 10

KING OF LIES

Nick fought his resentment with an effort.

The resentment wasn’t at Morley, not anymore.

Morley meant well. Morley was his friend, he was concerned, and he meant well.

Resentment still simmered in Nick’s chest, but now it honed in on new targets.

Still, it was a waste of fucking time, sitting in anger about things that were outside his control. He had no reason to think another inter-dimensional portal would ever offer itself to him, so he needed to come to terms with living in the world he was in now.

He needed to face reality as it was now.

He tried to focus on the fact that Wynter would be waiting for him, and hopefully glad to see him, despite the shape he was in. He knew she’d want to talk. He wasn’t sure he was up for that, but he knew Morley was right, that Wynter would be fucked-up from everything, too, and would probably need to talk about it.

Really, they should talk.

The problem was, if they talked, she’d want to know what was going on with him, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to go there.

But fuck it, he’d try, and at least try to be honest about how fucked up he was about what happened. He should probably warn her about his arms before she saw them. They’d heal in a day or so, far faster than a human, and much faster still if he fed on Wynter, but he’d probably look pretty bad shirtless until one of those two things happened.

He was avoiding though, even now.

Maybe Morley could play normal, and maybe Wynter even could, but he couldn’t.

He fucking couldn’t.

Gaos, was he depressed? Is that what this was?

He couldn’t ever remember being depressed before, not like this.

Whatever was wrong with him felt deeper this time, somehow.

It felt like he’d been pried gently open, exposed to warming, soft sunlight… and then, out of nowhere, had toxic acid thrown on the most vulnerable, hidden parts of himself. Being so close to that portal, so close to that other world and life, had reminded him in a way that was impossible to reverse. He couldn’t just “un-remember” it now.

He remembered that other world, at least parts of it.

Maybe not all the bare bone facts––but Nick remembered how it had felt.

More than that, he remembered who he’d been, when he lived there.

Having all of it so near his grasp had awakened something inside him, something he’d buried so deep, he’d ceased to realize it was buried at all.

It felt like a version of himself he’d forgotten.

And maybe it wasn’t all because of the portal, not on its own.

Maybe some of it was that Jordan killed Nick’s doppelg?nger, and now there was only one of them left in this dimension. That psychotic fuck might even be the real reason Nick had been able to forget who he was for so long. He might’ve blurred Nick’s feelings of not belonging here, just like Nick had blurred the doppelg?nger’s feelings of originally coming from this world, confusing the loss of his human family and friends when he got turned into a vampire with Nick’s deep, unconscious desire to return to his own place and time.

Had they both forgotten where they truly belonged?

Nick fought to untangle it.

He fought to understand.

He wanted so badly to understand.

“You look so frightfully serious, offspring,” a voice drawled out of the darkness.

Nick froze.

* * *

The other vampire remained in the darkness, far out of the light from the last bulb on the landing above. His purring voice grew a faint reproach.

“Does that mean you still regret not running through that door without me?” he asked next. “Leaving me behind on this world, all by my lonesome?”

Nick had just reached the bottom of the building’s staircase.

Now he found himself turning all the way around.

He faced directly into that darkness near the stairwell.

Even for vampire, it was difficult to penetrate fully, at least until his eyes adjusted. The inky black nook sat under the crumbling, water-damaged stairs, nothing behind it but a black-painted door that slowly grew visible behind the male being who stood there.

Nick’s mind hazarded that the door likely led to an ancient basement, possibly a boiler room, or possibly what had once been storage cubicles, or even bike racks for the building’s residents.

He already knew who stood in that dark space, so he didn’t spend much time looking at them. Even so, his fangs lengthened instinctively, well before his mind formed a single coherent thought about why the other vampire might be waiting for him here, or what he might want.

Wish I knew what you were looking for.

Might have known what you would find.

His mind recited the lyrics without thought. Only after it had, did Nick recognize the words as part of a song he’d played in his dorm room while he’d attended college at San Francisco State. The memory was so immediate, so visceral, a sharp pain rose in his chest.

Fuck, that was a lifetime ago.

Several lifetimes ago.

So long ago, the realness of it, the right now reality of it, shocked him.

As the song continued to play in his mind, he was seeing it again.

Flyers from bands tacked on his dorm room walls, opening the windows to hear music from the floors and rooms next to theirs. Sitting on the grass in Golden Gate Park with their books. Lights flashing as they laughed, slamming into one another in dark, smoke-filled clubs, smoking pot with his pals, including Angel, including Angel’s own roommate, who he’d had a crush on for most of his late teens and early twenties.

Surfing before dawn, bonfires on the beach, wolfing down giant burritos before class as he crammed for midterms, trying to decide what the fuck he wanted to do with his life…

Pain shocked him harder, hitting into his heart.

It wasn’t only Dalejem that time.

It was his world.

It was his parents, who’d never shown him anything but love. His sisters. His friends. Miri had come later, after he’d joined the military and been stationed overseas, but there had been years with her in his life, too, well past when he’d left his military uniform behind, gone through police academy, joined the force, and donned a new uniform.

Eventually that had changed, too.

Black and Nick’s first glimpse of the supernatural entered his life.

But well before Black showed up, Nick had already changed beyond recognition. The slacker college student who listened to British New Wave in the dorms, got stoned and surfed every morning before class, went to punk shows and record stores and shopped in second-hand shops and rode skateboards… that guy was already gone.

He’d been banged into a new, different shape, at least.

War had done that to him.

Being a homicide cop had done that to him, as well.

Eventually, just life had done that to him.

Specifically, not ending up with the life he’d always wanted for himself had changed Nick. That had done things to who he was, how he thought about himself, as much as anything else. It wasn’t even that he’d wanted those things for himself, so much as he’d fully expected those things for himself, even if he never exactly admitted it openly.

He’d maybe even felt entitled to that life in some way.

It took until he was forty to even be honest with himself about it.

But Nick had never gotten the wife or kids or the white picket fence.

He’d never even owned his own home.

There was always some reason those things never materialized for him.

There was always some reason he shied away from opportunities, even when they came his way. He’d dated around, fucked around, avoided committing, avoided opening himself fully, told himself it wasn’t the right time, the right circumstances, the right place in his career, the right point in his emotional development, the right person.

Briefly, he’d been so sure that person was Miri, and then…

Gaos, there it was.

That fucking pain, still throbbing and aching behind his ribs.

Jem.

He’d had that life with Jem.

He’d had it for a short time, at least.

But had it been short? Had it? Really?

Nick blinked back what he realized in astonishment were tears.

He wiped his face, unthinking, and as he did, Brick emerged completely out of the dark, his expression now openly perplexed.

It wasn’t empathy Nick saw on his sire’s face.

Laughably, no, that wasn’t something Brick had in his repertoire, not even as an affectation. Brick stared at Nick in blank bewilderment instead, a flat curiosity in his vampire eyes, one that didn’t really include his own emotional involvement. Brick looked both fascinated and repelled at Nick’s vulnerability, possibly in equal measure.

Really, the disgust and horror in his eyes overpowered everything else.

It might have made Nick laugh under different circumstances.

Brick really was just so incredibly weak in some ways.

“What on Earth––” his sire began in astonishment.

“Don’t strain yourself, Betial,” Nick cut in, dismissive. “It’s fine.”

His sharp words might have dissuaded someone else.

Not Brick.

Brick’s bewildered expression didn’t change.

His curiosity demanded satisfaction.

“But what is this?” The older vampire’s voice remained as sharp and disturbed-sounding as his expression. “Explain yourself, offspring.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Wouldn’t I?”

Nick did laugh then. “You absolutely would not,” he assured him.

“At least tell me what it is about,” the vampire demanded, when Nick didn’t elaborate. “What is the nature of this distress? Why this bizarre, maudlin display of sentiment, Naoko? Surely, I am not the cause of this?”

Nick snorted a louder laugh at the other’s overt, utterly un-self-aware narcissism. He shook his head, even as he mused on the utter predictability of the question.

Only Brick would immediately assume it must be somehow about him.

Nick wiped his eyes a second time.

He cleared his throat.

“It’s nothing,” he said, brusque. His voice was surprisingly clear. “What do you want? I assume you’re lurking in the shadows because you want something from me? Or did you simply come here to gloat that I didn’t make it back to our world, as I’d hoped?”

His sire blinked, as if Nick’s completely unexpected demeanor had genuinely thrown him, not simply surprised him out of his usual, arrogant indifference.

Nick touched his headset on, simply to glance at the time.

“I’ve got somewhere to be,” he said, although, in looking at the time, it occurred to him that he didn’t. It was later than he’d realized.

Wynter would be getting up for work soon.

It was too late to wake her up, particularly if she had to work, and St. Maarten had definitely implied that she would be working, as was usual and normal, all week. Like Nick, Wynter probably didn’t have any choice.

Despite Morley’s suggestion that she call in sick for work, that both of them go to the beach, Nick realized that probably wasn’t in the cards today. Even if Lara would allow it, which she very likely wouldn’t, Nick wasn’t really in the right headspace for that, anyway.

Moreover, he needed to do a few things when he got back to Phoenix Tower.

He exhaled, shut the augmented reality off, and focused on Brick.

“Or maybe I don’t,” he conceded. He folded his arms. “Fine. Is something on your mind, Brick? Because you’d better tell me what it is now. I may not be particularly receptive tomorrow.”

Nick’s voice sounded patient to the point of being dismissive.

It occurred to him that what he’d said was true, however. He might not be particularly receptive to anything Brick-related tomorrow. That might be especially true if Tai and Malek were able to help him remember more.

Brick stared back at him, his eyes tinged scarlet in their centers.

The older vampire looked openly wary now.

Nick really had managed to catch him flat-footed for a change, and now Brick didn’t know how to approach whatever it was he’d come here for. Being Brick, it didn’t take him long to recover, but in those few seconds, Nick felt strangely vindicated.

“Christ,” Nick said. “Whatever it is, just say it, Brick. I didn’t mean to ruin your theatrical entrance with my fucking insistence on existing as my own person.”

Brick’s lip finally curled. “I am theatrical? That is rich, coming from you.”

“You’re the most theatrical piece of shit I’ve ever known,” Nick responded, unperturbed. “Just get on with it, would you?”

Brick, now looking thoroughly annoyed, adjusted his long coat.

He looked past Nick at the metal door to the apartment building, which had no windows, no glass, nothing but mold-speckled cement on either side of its thick panel.

“I thought you might require some assistance,” Brick said stiffly. “With your case tonight. Before you started wandering down rabbit holes of one kind or another––”

“Christ,” Nick muttered a second time. “You did this.” Nick’s jaw jerked towards that same metal door, indicating the street outside. “You killed these Yi-worshipping fucks.”

“No… I did not.”

“Bullshit.”

“I did not.”

“I don’t believe you. How else would you even know to be here?”

Brick adjusted his coat a second time, and his tie. He sniffed.

“As you know me, you should not need to ask me that question,” he said haughtily. “I hear about these things, given who I am, particularly when they affect our kind. We are still in a war, in case you hadn’t noticed––”

“A war?” Nick scoffed. “Gods, you really are a drama queen.”

Brick’s stare hardened.

“Of course, I would not wish to burden you with the long-term survival of our race, Naoko,” the older vampire said dryly. “I know politics are not to your taste, even when they impact you directly. However, if you wish to talk about your dead humans, I would be happy to have my people assist. We might save you some time––”

“Time.” Nick scoffed a second time. “You didn’t waste much of that, did you? What has it been? Two days since that shit-show at the portal? And you’re already back to stamping out the racial supremacists?”

Still, it was hard to get too indignant.

Nick couldn’t help but agree that Dimitry Yi’s Eifah movement remained dangerous, and to more than just vampires. They were dangerous to everyone, including and maybe even especially humans.

And no, they maybe weren’t in a race war yet, but that had always been Yi’s goal.

He’d always been playing a fucked-up, potentially deadly game with his so-called “movement.” His whole strategy of inciting a second, even more deadly race war had always been twisted, fraught with planet-killing dangers and unforeseen consequences.

And yes, it was also just a fucking dark and stupid ideology, for a lot of reasons.

More to the point, something a lot like it had nearly destroyed this version of Earth once already. Yi seemed to want to try that experiment again, regardless of the cost.

For the same reason, Nick couldn’t help but support anything that would lessen the power and reach of what remained of Yi’s movement. He could even support Brick being the one to end Eifah, even if it involved killing a bunch of people to reach his goal. Nick might not like the methods employed, but his hypocrisy could only go so far.

He couldn’t pretend he didn’t think Brick’s targets this time were rational, at least.

“How many of them are left?” Nick asked.

“I told you, I did not do this.”

“And I told you I don’t believe you,” Nick said, sharper. “Why not save us both some time, Betial? If that’s your true purpose, as you said.”

He stripped his voice of emotion, mostly because he knew Brick might not talk to him if he remained as emotionally vulnerable as he had been when he first came down the stairs.

It worked. Brick’s expression smoothed.

If Nick were a betting person, he might think Brick was even relieved.

Brick couldn’t stomach emotion––not real emotion. Brick’s own emotional range remained forever in the retribution-rage-lust-excitement-exultation-murderous-petty-jealousy-revenge band of the spectrum.

Brick didn’t do any of the softer emotions.

He certainly didn’t do grief… or remorse.

“We estimate a few thousand at most,” the older vampire clipped, smoothing back his dark auburn hair with a gloved hand. “…of the humans, at least. But you’re not listening to me, youngling. I did not kill these humans. That’s not why I’m here.”

Nick smelled blood drying in his sire’s auburn hair when he ran a hand through it.

He stifled a snort, but decided not to press the issue.

“Humans?” he queried instead, his voice skeptical. “You’re specifying human followers… versus what? Do you really think there are a lot of hybrids in that bunch? The humans in Yi’s movement have been fed a steady diet of anti-seer and anti-vampire crap for decades.” Nick’s mouth firmed in thought. “Are you saying Yi left behind acolytes among the seers who continued his work after he left? That there’s still someone out there, pitting vampires against humans, pulling strings and spreading his speeches around the feeds, even after Yi got taken away by his father?”

Brick shrugged, tugging at his shirt collar.

Nick gritted his teeth in annoyance at his sire’s silence.

There was nothing Brick liked more than withholding information as a power play.

Whether Brick had any idea how many, or if any, hybrids were involved in the current Eifah movement, or if Brick knew the exact number, name, sex, and appearance of every single one of them, Nick would probably never know.

Brick could never be counted on to be honest. About anything.

His reasons for lying were often as unknowable as the lies themselves.

“We are working on that,” Brick said cryptically.

Nick was unimpressed.

Moreover, he didn’t have the patience to try and tease out Brick’s big, important secrets tonight. He was too mentally wrung out to even listen to this fucker right now.

He was definitely too wrung out to try and sort the truth from his never-ending lies.

“What am I supposed to tell Morley?” Nick asked, voice flat. “I thought you had some kind of deal with the H.R.A.? When you bring your White Death mercs in to deal with an inter-species problem like this, don’t they generally look the other way?”

“We do have such a deal, yes,” Brick said, his lips lifting in a faint smile. “Well… we did. And I already told you… we didn’t do this. The White Death is not involved in these killings, child. I have no idea who killed these particular humans.”

Nick didn’t believe that, either.

He ignored the sincere, candid-seeming look his sire aimed in his direction. Brick could lie more impenetrably than anyone Nick had ever known. His ability to feign sincerity was one of the more dangerous things about him.

“What do you mean, you did have an agreement with them?” Nick asked. “Since when have you not had an agreement with them? I thought the H.R.A. was more than happy to let you kill Yi’s fascists. Didn’t you say they gave you a tacit nod on all of that, since it saved them the trouble of having to deal with the political fallout of arresting humans for causing racial unrest?”

“Things have changed,” Brick said flatly.

“What has changed?” Nick growled. “Would you stop fucking dancing with me?”

“I am not dancing with you, offspring,” Brick said, now sounding more than a touch annoyed. “If you want the truth, I’m not entirely sure what is changed, although I am working on it. For now, I have only guesses as to the nature of our new circumstances, as well as its causes. A guess, if I were to be precise––”

“Which is what?” Nick growled, unmoved by the other’s annoyance. “What is that guess? Are you going to tell me? Or should I expect to be here until the sun is high in the sky?”

There was another silence after Nick spoke.

Brick stood there, radiating anger as he folded his arms.

Nick wasn’t intimidated, but it struck him that his belligerence likely was only prolonging this. Brick would only make this harder for him if he didn’t act grateful enough, or deferential enough, or if he didn’t appear to hang on every word out of his sire’s mouth.

“This is a courtesy call, Naoko.” Brick stared at him, one eyebrow raised. “I didn’t have to come here at all, you know.”

“Then why did you?” Nick couldn’t help himself.

Brick’s teeth clicked. “Because you are still my offspring,” he said coldly. “Despite your obvious desire to abandon me on this world, and your never-ending apathy about the plight of our race here. I felt moved to issue a warning.”

Nick blinked. For some reason, he heard truth in those words.

Possibly real truth.

He also felt genuine anger on his sire.

It frustrated him that he had no way to know if he was right about either thing.

“I am telling you,” Brick emphasized. “Something has changed.”